The Daily Dump

A place where everyone (me) is welcomed to express their opinions openly and honestly. I encourage free thinking, free wheeling, off-the-cuff banter and monetary donations.

Friday, April 29

You're tired!

of the remaining characters on The Apprentice, and so am I. I can't picture any of these three running an ice cream stand let alone a multi-million dollar corporation.

But two memorable quotes from the show last night:

“I could beat Kendra in aerial combat without a plane.”
Craig, on how easy it would be to defeat Kendra in the reward dogfight, minutes before Kendra kicks his ass.

“I guarantee you everyone who has been in the board room with me and has been fired has come out and said, ‘I did not see that coming.’”
Alex, on how his soft-spoken demeanor belied his boardroom viciousness.(Likewise, every guy that has roomed with Alex and found him creeping into their bed at night has also said, “I did not see that coming.”)

Other than that it’s a slow Friday at work. Listening to satellite radio and putting together an itunes playlist. Basically getting drunk on public information sharing. I’m not sure people realize how much of a phenomenon of the times it is, to be interconnected with some many people in such an intimate way. For example, I read a blog about a girl’s dye job gone bad yesterday. That’s an extremely personal crusade, a woman against her unruly hair. Luckily, I’ve never dated a girl with bad hair (for good reason), but I assume if I did that I would empathize more with this person and, consequently, share in their emotional turmoil. All for visiting their blog. As it stands now I just read through the posts and chuckled a little at the vanity of women coloring their hair when, 97% of the time, their original hair color looks the best (not the case for Meg Ryan at all).

The point is, there was the possibility that I could have been subject to real, human emotion here. And that’s a dangerous thing. The lesson, as always, wield your blog carefully.

That said, in a recent press conference, Bill Gates said that owning 10% of North America wasn’t enough, he no needed to have women’s breasts. And they couldn’t be normal size breasts. They had to be the biggest.

Also, poor Pope Benedict has been criticized for being too old and too strict and in poor health, and now he’s being called the harbinger of the end of time. This is according to a prophesy from 12th Century visionary Saint Malachy (an Irish saint, I’ll let you decide how much of the “vision” to trust.) Apparently, St. Malachy foresaw a pope of the future whom he described as the "Glory of the Olive." The doomsayers realized that Pope Benedict, being German, clearly fits that description. When they subsequently realized they were completely wrong and simply making things up, they decided to make the connection to “the Order of Saint Benedict, a branch of which is known as the Olivetans.” Seems pretty clear cut to me . . .

But thinking the general public might need further proof, doomsayers also pointed to a picture taken in March during Palm Sunday celebrations showing the pope holding olive branches. They went on to add that Pope Benedict will be a “Pope of Peace” (get it, olive branch, symbol for peace), as opposed to the previous two Popes who have been the "Pope of Meanness" and the "Pope of Bad Language." Oddly, though, there was no mention made of this picture, which I believe to be the conclusive proof:

Personally, I think the actual end will come when the President and the pope stand in the same room for the first time. The President will make some self-evident remark, but in such a way that it seems like he’s the only one who knows it’s true, then he'll chuckle to himself a little, and the pope will respond with a polite nod before invoking the wrath of God on everyone.

But what do I know, I'm part Irish too. And maybe drunk right now..

Quote of the day:
“Is this what pre middle age is like? Not quite bald but not quite rich enough to compensate if we were bald? Not quite having a nervous break down but I still can't sleep? Not quite gay but I go to church more than I used to?”
- James Vanderberg, on the ails of being middle aged . . . at 25


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