I have to admit, as utterly disgusted as I am with this gross display of exorbitant wealth, I also admit that the only reason I’m disgusted is because I can’t afford something so cool as my own island. Hell, I can’t even afford a flight to Miami Beach.
I don’t care how crunchy or communist you are, you can’t tell me that it wouldn’t be awesome to have your own hut on your own island half a mile away from a couple of your friends on their own islands where you could make some dinner on a balmy night and hang around a bonfire before hopping in your little motor boat and heading home for the night. I was jealous when Dawson and Joey got to do it, I’m even more jealous now.
It’s something along the same lines of living in a small gated community with your friends as your neighbors, only without the beach, the constant sunshine, the relaxing feeling of being a thousand miles away from all responsibility and your other three neighbors aren’t Ralph Lauren, Beyonce and George Clooney.
And no, I’m not too concerned about the “effects on the geography of the world” or whatever. I mean, nature is cool, but not as cool as your own private island. Just like being white is cool, but not as cool as marrying Heidi Klum . . .
The pair plan on opening a new nightclub named "Club a Seal"
. . . but way cooler than marrying Renee Zelleweger, which apparently you have to do in secret if you’re a country music star.
"Open your eyes, please honey, just once? Just a little?"
And then there’s this:
"What did I tell you about trying to eat daddy's head..."
In Calcutta! The city synonymous with poverty and hunger? Next thing you know we’ll find out the parents bought an island in Dubai.
And finally, in tennis news:
Maria Full of Grace (hahahaha, I'm laughing out loud at myself.)
Quote of the day:
"In other news it turns out the girl downstairs from me is either insane or a real bitch. The past 2 Sunday mornings she was screaming at her boyfriend and then again last night. Luckily the walls are pretty solid and so its muffled but from the little I did hear he doesn't say the words 'I love you.'"
- Brendan "Hot Dog" Loud, on his new neighbors