Best Reason to Be Excited It’s Wednesday
New episode of Lost tonight. The French woman comes back, as do the “Others." Nothing funny about this one. Just truth.
Best Reason to Be Scared For Your Children’s Future
Courtesy of James (the painter).
"Another Air Force space program, nicknamed Rods From God, aims to hurl cylinders of tungsten, titanium or uranium from the edge of space to destroy targets on the ground, striking at speeds of about 7,200 miles an hour with the force of a small nuclear weapon."
It’s as though the Air Force sat down and said, “Listen, we need some really cool stuff. Something that incorporates space and explosions. And it has to have a cool name, one that preferably rhymes. We’ll worry about how unbelievably ludicrous and perilous the idea is later on.”
A white lion plays with a papier mache zebra. Items such as boomer balls, cardboard boxes and puzzle feeders are used on a daily basis at the zoo to help stimulate the animals natural behavior.
Best Weirdly Intimate Introduction to a Live Song
This song is about . . . um . . . waking up under a bush in your ex-girlfriend’s garden. Um . . . this is a song about getting drunk and forgetting that you don’t go out with her anymore, and forgetting that she doesn’t love you anymore. So, um, so, ah, this is about, um, leading, um, being, wanting too much, wanting to be close to someone too much, wanting to know where they are all the time and when they’re going out being like, “Where are you going?” or “What time will you be back?” or “I’ll come with you.” And it’s about trying to do the right thing. Trying to withdraw so that you don’t love so much, trying to go “OK.” And in doing so, something in side you just dies, and you turn off, and then, and like all things in life then she falls in love with you and you don’t care. And it’s a song of hope.
The Frames, “What Happens When the Heart Just Stops”
Best Description of what Britney Spears is Doing With Her Life
“She’s just drinking and smoking and having a baby.”
- The Girlfriend
Most Mind-blowing Paintings
Most Blatant Example of How Bored I Am At Work
After every bottle of water I finish, I peel off the label and enter into a contest at the Poland Spring website for a chance to win a “Feel Like a Movie Star” adventure package. I have entered 13 times since Monday.
Best Spam E-mail Name
“Wiley T. Peyote”
(The email was advertising “Solutions to dog problems.”)
Largest Font Ever Used for a Pap Smear
Headline That Most Misses the Point
“Jacko Kin: I Saw Cancer Boy Sneaking Wine”
Most Unsanctioned Review of Disney World
“Magic Kingdom is officially the meeting ground of obese Americans and oddly a large number of Brits. No truly new rides at Magic Kingdom, just a shit load of magic.”
- BJ (the teacher)