The Daily Dump

A place where everyone (me) is welcomed to express their opinions openly and honestly. I encourage free thinking, free wheeling, off-the-cuff banter and monetary donations.

Friday, May 27

Exercise . . . In the Morning?!

Woke up this morning at 5:00 with The Girlfriend’s knee lovely, beautiful and tender knee in my back and just couldn’t get back to sleep after that. Maybe it was the Kentucky Fried Chicken I inexplicably had for dinner the night before. I don’t know. But instead of laying there until five minutes before the alarm goes off, when I would finally fall back to sleep only to find it impossible to get up when I actually had to, I decided I would get up and go to the gym. The Girlfriend woke up when I got out of bed and we had this sweet conversation:

Her: “What’s the matter?”
Me: “Couldn’t sleep.”
Her: “Did I hog the bed?”
Me: “A little.”
Her: “Oh man.”
Me: “Want to come to the gym with me?”
Her: “Huh? I fell back to sleep already.”

I went over to the gym not even knowing if it was open. Usually, I’m only up this early in the morning when I am going on a vacation somewhere, or I’ve gone back in time 6 years and I’m finishing up an all night bender.

But when I get there, the place is packed. Apparently, a lot of people do this. They’re all “fit” and “healthy” and they purposely wake up early to go to the gym. And the weird part is, they don’t look sad about it. They look genuinely happy to be there. At the time, the only rational explanation was that all of these people had been in deadly situations at some point and had said to God, “God, if you save me I’ll go to the gym every morning for the rest of my life!” and now they’re just happy to be alive.

Turns out, though, that it’s actually kind of cool to be active early in the morning. I start on the treadmill walking, then a light jog. Finally, kick it into a run. At first, I’m forcing myself. My legs are uncoordinated, I’m sweating not from exertion but from the fear that I will trip myself and fall face first on the treadmill and be shot out into the middle of the gym floor. But suddenly I slip into a groove and I’m chugging along with no problem. 6 mph. Throw a little incline in there. 6.5. No problem. More incline. Bring it on. Finally, I’m up to 7mph with a 3% incline. People start taking notice. A small crowd gathers around me. I hear someone whisper the name “Superman.” A woman takes out a poster board sign that says, “Random guy on treadmill rocks my world!” and throws her sports bra at me. I am a running god.

Of course it wasn’t that good, but it was surprisingly not bad. And once I got home I felt great – like I accomplished more before 9:00AM than I accomplish throughout most entire days. Which is precisely why I came into work at 10:00, iced coffee in hand (the symbolic equivalent of of walking in late and giving everyone in the office the middle finger) and promptly started reading the news and writing this. Because I’ve done my work for the day. Bring on the long weekend.

More to come later, including the Amazing Shoe Review!


Pre died before his time. I woke up before mine.

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