The Daily Dump

A place where everyone (me) is welcomed to express their opinions openly and honestly. I encourage free thinking, free wheeling, off-the-cuff banter and monetary donations.

Thursday, June 23

Finally Addressing Tomkat

At dinner with my family yesterday after seeing “Spamalot,” my blog was mentioned and briefly discussed (thankfully I don’t think anyone had read the previous post yet or that could have made for an awkward meal). However my mom did question why I hadn’t given some more extensive treatment to Tom and Katie (aka Tomkat). (Sad that my mom knows that two of my favorite things are Tom Cruise movies and “Dawson’s Creek.” Sadder that we discussed this in front of my Dad.)

Well here’s the reason: I just don’t know what to say about it. I always knew (we all) always knew that Tom was a little different. It was confirmed for me when I was watching him on “Inside the Actor’s Studio” while in New Orleans last summer (don’t ask). When you listen to him talk, half the time you get the feeling that he’s a sincere guy and the other half of the time you get the feeling that he’s really good at playing a sincere guy, like he slips into autistic states where he can’t separate himself from the characters he’s played. Maybe the most genuine thing I’ve heard him say is “You’re a jerk!” to that guy that squirted him in the face with water, which would make sense because he was shocked from his autistic state by the water in the face.

Basically, I agree with the Sports Guy: You have to believe that Tom Cruise is capable of anything right now. Sure, there’s a good chance that nothing will happen, he’ll continue making movies and being subtly weird and it’ll all play out just fine. But there’s a good chance that he could snap and try to take over the world with Katie as his Queen . . . and could we really be surprised?

Now Katie – it’s a little harder with her. Sure, she has a crooked mouth and a droopy eye, but that’s what made her different and loveable. Granted, if she was never Joey Potter I’d probably be writing things like, “He can have her, she has a crooked mouth and a droopy eye.” But that’s not the case. The case is that for a long time she was in my Top 5, and then she did her nude scene in The Gift and she jumped up into my Top 3. But now? It’s always harder to let go of the ones you care about, the ones with which you have such fond memories of crowding around a TV freshman year of college, the ones you rooted for even in their bad movies, the ones with such deceptively large breasts. And I like to avoid things that are hard. It’s my motto at work, and it’s my motto in life.

So that’s why I haven’t written too much about it. I’m taking the same stance on this that I did on my break-up with Dawn DiOrio in 6th grade and the presidential election of 2004: Just ignore it and hope it turns out OK.

(By the way, everyone should see Spamalot. Everyone. But no one will enjoy it quite as much without my mother laughing hysterically ten seconds into the first song, “The Fish Slapping Dance.”)


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