The Daily Dump

A place where everyone (me) is welcomed to express their opinions openly and honestly. I encourage free thinking, free wheeling, off-the-cuff banter and monetary donations.

Tuesday, July 12

What Isn't News - I Love Cookies

I've really got to get my cookie addiction under control. I was literally crestfallen when I went to the lunch place today and saw that they didn't have the cookies I usually get – again! I fear that they might not carry them anymore. I was about to ask the girl at the checkout counter, who I am pretty speaks little to no English, where the store got their cookies from. But at the last second someone came up behind me on line and, figuring the conversation would take a minimum of 20 minutes, used my better judgment. Although what great entertainment for everyone else it would have been for me to try to make the girl understand that I wanted to know where she got the cookies with the M&M’s on top from.

And, Britney is officially getting fat.


















Has anyone considered that if Britney has a daughter, when the daughter is 18 Britney will only be 41, which could result in one of the hottest mother-daughter tandems of all time? Should I make pretend I read this somewhere else instead of thinking it up myself?

In other, more or less important news . . .

Elderly woman in U.S. hoards more than 300 cats

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - About 300 cats, nearly a third of them dead, were removed from an elderly woman's Virginia home after neighbors complained of a stench coming from the house, police said on Tuesday.

"Cats were coming out of the cabinets and drawers and were inside the walls. There were hundreds of them," Fairfax County Police officer Richard Henry told Reuters.

He said animal control officers removed 273 cats -- 86 of them dead -- over the weekend and slapped a condemnation order on the door of the house. The woman, her husband and daughter were told to leave.

At what point do the husband and daughter sit the woman down and say, “Honey, I think we have too many cats.” 20? 50? 100? Maybe the first time you pull the shower curtain back and there’s 8 cats in the tub? I’d say my breaking point would be when you have to start nudging the cats to see if they’re dead or just asleep. Definitely.

Speaking of crazy elderly women . . .

Granny grows tired of prostitution at age 63

BERLIN (Reuters) - A Berlin grandmother who has worked the city's diplomatic quarter as a prostitute for the last 49 years plans to retire when she turns 64 next year, according to Germany's Bild newspaper.

"I'm going to stop at 64 and retire," said Dolle, whose husband drops her off for work each night after the television evening news and who has a nine-year-old granddaughter.

Dolle said she tried to work in a popular red light district nearby recently but was chased away by younger competitors.

"What do you want here, you old whore, get lost," Dolle said they shouted at her. "What did I ever do to them?"

Wasn’t this the plot of a Flannery O’Connor story? Elderly prostitute rises above social constraints and ultimately proves to the younger hookers that menopause is just a state of mind?

In other job news . . .

U.S. workers say they waste 2 hours a day

BOSTON (Reuters) - U.S. workers say they squander over two hours a day at the workplace, with surfing the Web, socializing with co-workers and simply "spacing out" among the top time-wasting activities, according to a survey released on Monday.

Two hours a day? I waste two hours before noon.

But the good news is Bill Coleman, senior vice president at Salary.com, says "There is such a thing as creative waste.” i.e. me sitting outside at a café table right now writing my blog, which, in fact, does qualify as creativity even though it has the word “dump” in the title.

Speaking of wasting time at work, here’s some news from the Oval Office.

White House: Bush Has Confidence in Rove

WASHINGTON - After two days of questions, the White House said Tuesday that President Bush continues to have confidence in Karl Rove, the presidential adviser at the center of the investigation into the leak identifying a female CIA officer. Meanwhile, prominent Democrats are calling for Rove to be fired.

Bush did not respond to a reporter's question Tuesday about whether he would fire Rove, in keeping with a June 2004 pledge to dismiss any leakers of Valerie Plame's identity.

Is there anything more frustrating as a citizen than watching all this take place in your government? Covering up evidence concerning the death of a government agent no less? I’m waiting for this press conference briefing from President Bush:

“The statements I made concerning the firing of any individual who might be a part of this scandal were premature. You know, you just never know how situations like this are going to play out. I made those statements at a time when I thought no one from my administration was involved. Huh.

I have spoken with my advisors, and they have further reiterated that I should not say anything in public without talking to them first. Thank you, and God bless America. Yee-haw.”

And finally, speaking of backstabbing and general political underhandedness . . .

On this day in 1861, during the civil war the Confederacy signs treaties with Choctaw and Chickasaw Tribes Special commissioner Albert Pike completes treaties with the members of the Choctaw and Chickasaw Tribes, giving the new Confederate States of America several allies in Indian Territory. Some members of the tribes also fought for the Confederacy.

It wasn’t until much later that we finished stealing their land and destroying the final shreds of their culture and heritage.

Also, I have no idea what this caption has to do with this picture.

5 Comments:

Good god - only 2 hours? I wasted my entire Tuesday.. and now I'm wasting Wednesday (nz time - we are so ahead of you!)

By Blogger Kate, at 5:18 PM  

Speaking of cookies, cats in the shower and sex... They say it takes far less facial muscles to smile, than it does to frown...I wonder if anyone knows the count for an orgasm.

By Blogger JERKJ, at 5:28 PM  

Hey, just wanted to say that I founnd your blog on blogger, and it cracks me up. Thanks for the laughs!!

By Blogger mrsg, at 5:53 PM  

Plus I totally agree with your saving private ryan comments from a couple of days ago, I had forgotten how good the movie was. I cried the other night when it was on TV.

By Blogger mrsg, at 5:54 PM  

In my ongoing efforts to address every comment I receive, here it goes:
1. If I had known that New Zealanders could waste time days in advance of Americans, I would have short listed it for my retirement options.
2. Official Newest Most Random Comment Winner.
3. God I love compliments. (And check back for the Top Five I promised. It'll be here...eventually.)

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 8:51 PM  

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