The deli that screwed me over with the M&M cookies screwed me over AGAIN, this time by substituting my usual chicken caprice panini with an inferior “Italian chicken” panini. When did it become good business practice to replace good food with bad food? I need to say something to these people. (Isn’t it hilarious that I have a girlfriend? One that actually likes me? I think it is…)
Anyway, the good thing is that the subsequent rage from the panini fiasco has inspired me to get something done at work. Not work, of course, but at least the Yahoo news.
This guy seems like he’d be fun to hang out with. Can you believe they’ve got the cops after him? My friend ran around New York City in a gorilla suit asking girls: “Do you have any gorilla in you? [wait for it…] Would you like some?” One of them asked him to hang out in her limo . . .
And British police talk like this?
"There have been several reports of him having been seen in Eaglescliffe dressed only in a nappy and we are keen to trace him and speak to him," police said.
I’m supposed to put my life in the hands of a guy who calls it a nappy?
The Girlfriend and I are thinking of doing the same thing. We want to get married at a college frat party, where we first met. It will be so romantic with the maid of honor doing a bong hit as we exchanged vows.
And the last line slays me. Just slays me. Why can’t I have a cool nickname like “Hamburger Happy Meal Man?
Picture of the Day
Baby elephant Fahim, right, flies through the air after being tossed by his father Maxi, hidden left, on Monday, Aug. 8, 2005 at the zoo in Zurich, Switzerland as mother elephant Indi, at left, watches the first confrontation between father and son.Reminds me of a Dylan Thomas poem I once read. (Oh that’s right. I went there – Welsh poetry humor. That’s why my readers keep coming back.)
A three-year study of 17 wild chimps in Gombe National Park, Tanzania, found that 12 of them used their left hands when using sticks to probe for termites. Four were right-handed and one was listed as ambiguously handed.
THREE YEARS! THREE! You’re really going to tell me that two years into this study the researchers didn’t look at each other and say, “Boy this is pretty pointless, isn’t it? What should we call this guy who uses both hands? Ambiguously handed? Oh well, we’ve got another year to figure it out.” I’ve done more in the past three years – and I’ve done nothing!
And finally, congratulations to The Notebook for cleaning up at the Teen Choice Awards this year, snagging 8 awards. And everyone knows how I feel about The Notebook.
Other notable winners include:
Choice Music Album: Kelly Clarkson, Breakaway (And we know how I feel about this.)
Choice Music Make-Out Song: "Oh," Ciara featuring Ludacris (a favorite of The Girlfriend and me).
Choice TV Show Comedy: Gilmore Girls (I don’t tivo it, but let’s just say that if it’s on, and they start that witty banter at 500 words a minute, I find it difficult to tear myself away.)
Choice Hottie Female: Rachel Bilson (Not my first choice, but a much better choice than an Olsen twin or a Hilton sister.)
You would also think that me, being a 25 year old guy, wouldn’t care about things like this . . .you would be wrong.
Tune in tonight for the rest of the winners. Or at least tune in for the look on Kevin Federline’s face when Bo Bice beats him out for Choice Reality/Variety Star – Male. Or when Hillary Duff recites the “awards handed out earlier in the evening” and shows footage of the Choice Parental Units winner (The OC’s “Cohen’s” or the dark horse “Alias” dysfunctional family unit of spies and world terrorist organization leaders? Do these people really come upon stage and accept these awards and make speeches? I’ve just convinced myself to go to the tivo website and program my tivo to record the Teen Choice Awards.) You can’t recreate moments like this. You just can’t.