The Daily Dump

A place where everyone (me) is welcomed to express their opinions openly and honestly. I encourage free thinking, free wheeling, off-the-cuff banter and monetary donations.

Tuesday, August 2

– I’m trying out a new font, so bear with me. Not that this requires much effort on your part. Or on mine for that matter. It’s just that sometimes I don’t have a lot of things to write here, so I end up writing about trivial crap like changing fonts. It’s the same thing you come across in the Monday edition of the newspaper. Apparently, less news happens over the weekend, so there’s less to write about. But there’s still the same amount of space to fill, so we end up getting articles like, “Beat The Heat: How To Avoid Dehydration In The Summer” or “Police Officer Trips Over Child’s Bike, Just A Sprain.”

– "Til Kingdom Come" is a really good song on the new Coldplay album. I feel like if Bob Dylan wrote a Coldplay song, this is what it would sound like.

– I watched this new show on TV last night: "Wanted" on TNT. It's about a crime unit put together for the sole purpose of catching the top 100 criminals on the FBI’s most wanted list. It's actually really good. Good characters, good story telling, and partial nudity all over the place. They even say bad words like "asshole" and i think i even heard the occasional "shit." i don't remember exactly though. I just remember every so often thinking to myself, “Did he just say ‘shit?’” But the one time I actually rewound it to see if he did, it turns out he didn’t. So there’s a chance I randomly hear the word “shit” in my head. That’s not a sign of good mental health.

– My mom is away at a rented beach house this week and next, so I get a frantic call from her yesterday afternoon telling me that she won’t have access to a computer at the beach, so it will be my responsibility to make sure she wins her eBay auction for a Sirius Satellite Radio jukebox. In her words, “I want it! Make sure you don’t lose!” Since then, I’ve spoken to her on the phone twice, and each conversation has started with, “How’s the auction? Am I still winning? I want that radio.” My mother has successfully instilled a fear in me to the point where in the middle of a phone call before I sat up straight in my chair and literally panicked that I hadn’t checked the auction in half an hour, even though it doesn’t end until 5:20. God help me if I don’t win this radio – I may have to avoid my mom for a few weeks just to let things cool down.

– “Crazy June” in my office today circulated a memo that she cannot find her scissors, and if anyone sees them they are metal, with a black grip, and have “June” written on them. I’m not even kidding.

– Crazy June also calls them “email numbers,” as in, “I have to send this letter. Do you have his email number?”

– My friends are so DKNY:

















– An update on “The Cookie Situation.”

It’s not looking good. It’s gotten to the point where, today, I went to other local deli’s to see if, by chance, they had the same cookie supplier. No luck. Then, I went back to the original deli and took a look at the inventory. It’s a tense moment, walking over to the dessert bin and seeing what you think is the cookie you’re looking for, only to get up close, and realize it’s not when you touch it (with a wax paper thingy, don’t worry . . . what am I talking about, I’m fingering cookies to see whether or not they are the real thing or imposter cookies. There’s a lot to be worried about here.)

I’ve decided my next step will be to buy a regular looking chocolate chip cookie from the dessert bin and a bag of M&M’s, and, when I eat it, take a bite of the cookie while tossing a couple of M&M’s in my mouth. I have low expectations for this endeavor. But what do I know, I’m in love with a bygone cookie.

1 Comments:

That's some facial hair!

By Blogger Kate, at 12:26 AM  

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