The Daily Dump

A place where everyone (me) is welcomed to express their opinions openly and honestly. I encourage free thinking, free wheeling, off-the-cuff banter and monetary donations.

Tuesday, September 20

Some Things Including Vomit, Genocide and The Easy Way to Prison

I’ve racked my brain and tried and tried to come up with something I care less about than the outcome of the Kelly Monaco / John O’Hurley dance-off tonight, and the only thing I could come up with is “what my boss will be having for dinner.” I care less about what my boss will have for dinner, than the outcome of tonight’s dance-off. And I’m not even 100% comfortable saying that.

a packet of Swiss Miss hot chocolate + a large cup of coffee + a large cup of ice = a tickle in my pants

The guy at the deli today cut my sandwich so that half was all the top crust of the bread and half was all the bottom crust of the bread. Who does that? That’s no way to cut a sandwich. It’s like offering half of your black and white cookie to someone and splitting it along the black/white line. It just makes no sense.

The Daily Dump has hit a new low. I was glancing at my site meter this morning (you know, in that casual way people do, sort of like remembering to check your fifth email account, because no one really cares if anyone’s visiting their site anyway . . .) and there I am, the sixth heading on a list resulting from a search term that can only be described as “Why?”

The guy in the lobby of my building with the broom and dustbin on a handle is deft at sweeping up little things off the floor. You may say, “Well anyone could do that.” But I defy anyone to do it with such precision and grace.

Headline of the day: Brits Prefer 'Genocide' Over 'Holocaust' Good to know.

The Girlfriend got picked last week to serve on a jury this week for a cocaine distribution felony. She finished up her service today and called me after she left the court house. She summed up her civil service by saying: “I think there were four educated people on the jury. And there was one retired guy who kept voting ‘not guilty,’ but couldn’t give a reason beyond, ‘That’s just what I think.’ It was obviously because this is the first exciting thing to happen to him in months and he wanted it to last as long as possible. There’s no way he really thought that guy was innocent – I knew he was guilty from the first time I saw him.”

Ladies and Gentlemen, our legal system.

3 Comments:

hey i'm still reading... when i'm sober. ;)

By Blogger Kate, at 7:41 PM  

That's a shame, I'm much more amusing if you're drunk.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 12:18 AM  

God - isn't life?

By Blogger Kate, at 7:16 PM  

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