The Daily Dump

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Wednesday, October 5

Aliens Come To Somalia, I Guess Not For Our Food

It’s no secret that I like science. I’ve been telling girls that I watch the Discovery channel for years as an off-beat way of hitting on them, as if to say, “I’m smart, but it’s not like I have science books.”

In fact, one of the first things The Girlfriend and I bonded over was a documentary we had both seen on the Discovery channel called “Face To Face: The Schappell Twins” about a set of twins, brother and sister, who were conjoined at the head, one facing forward, the other backward . . . depending on how you look at them. And these conjoined twins had survived this way for 37 years even though the girl was three feet tall and the boy was over five feet. (The small one rode around in a highchair-on-wheels-type-contraption, because I know you were wondering.)

The show, needless to say, proved to be a fertile topic for discussion. It also provided me with the first opportunity to make physical contact with The Girlfriend. During our animated and slightly drunk conversation about the show, I was attempting to reenact a certain scene, so I pressed the side of my head against hers to imitate the conjoined twins. I don’t remember if that led directly to us making out, but I prefer to think that it did – because in the eventual movie of my life, that is going to be one of the best scenes ever put on film.

What I’m getting at here is that I like to keep abreast on what’s going on in the science world, for entertainment and sexual reasons, and just yesterday while browsing some articles I found this:

Mystery Ocean Glow Confirmed in Satellite Photos

If that doesn’t peak your interest, I don’t know what will. So, having decided already that it was alien related, I open the link and read the article, which is sloppy and terribly uninformative – straight up Yahoo, god love them. But there was also a link in there to a picture of this supposed “ocean glow the size of Connecticut.” I’m practically trembling with excitement at this point thinking I’m about to see something life-changing, something utterly unbelievable, something that will undoubtedly get me laid if The Girlfriend ever breaks up with me.

I open the link, and I see this:

You’ve got to be kidding me. It looks like someone spilled their Kool Aid on a drawing of the Indian Ocean. Maybe my expectations were a bit unrealistic, but this was like being sent an email with the subject “Britney Spears NAKED!” and the picture attached being Britney from 50 yards away adjusting her bathing suit.

In any event, I’m not entirely unconvinced that the aliens are responsible for this, but I’m disheartened. At least Lindsey Lohan crashed her car again. So that’s fun to read about.


The Schappell twins, Lori and Reba, are both FEMALE.

By Blogger T.G., at 2:28 PM  

I guess I was paying more attention to the making out than I thought...

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 2:56 PM  

Oh and just an FYI, Reba was born as Dori. She changed her name because she's a country singer.

We made out? I must have blacked out after the two bottles of wine and twelve pack of Natty Ice we shared. It was a romantic night though, wasn't it?

By Blogger T.G., at 3:22 PM  

Lori and Dori? Man, talk about guaranteeing your children a life of ridicule and mocking. Oh, wait...

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:15 PM  

The comments are funnier than the post itself.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 4:20 PM  

I didn't find T.G. comments funny at all.

By Blogger [Disgrundled], at 5:31 PM  

I think disgrundled needs......

By Blogger belligerent mother, at 6:11 PM  

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