The Daily Dump

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Monday, October 3

The Girlfriend Finds Sharing Confusing, Unproductive

On a date with The Girlfriend:

Me: “How about we split the brownie bomb?”

TG: “I have a feeling it’s not very big . . .”

Me: “You have a feeling the brownie bomb isn’t very big?”

TG: . . .

Me: “OK, then let’s each get something small. I’ll get an éclair.”

TG: “OK, and I’ll have the brownie bomb.”


I can totally sympathize with her. My guy posse hates me. Whenever they get something to eat, they buy me something too, because they know I will eat their food.

By Blogger Betty, at 11:23 PM  

My gitlfriend is queen of the "splitsies" no its not a fantastic sexual move involving a pully system and a bottle of baby fact it is the question at every meal and every desert, "Wanna split two things?" Knowing full well i always order better, I often end up with half of an awesome thing and half of a lame thing, which I end up eating all of as she eats all of the awesome thing saying "yeah you're right, yours won."

By Blogger de Kooning's Spleen, at 11:29 PM  


You're funny, man. But your girlfriend and her obsession with the brownie bomb is funnier.

I'll never share a mega-bag of M&Ms at the movies. I don't like other people's fingers in my candy.

By Blogger Paul, at 6:17 PM  

Women don't share desserts. Now you know.

By Blogger Kallisti, at 7:45 PM  

Women don't share breasts and sex either.

By Blogger de Kooning's Spleen, at 9:47 AM  

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