You know what? The Artful (Judas) Dodger has a point. This is rambling. And you know why? Two reasons:
1. It was much funnier at the time, watching my family huddled at the end of a table, two drinks per person, with looks on their faces that said, “Is this really happening?”; and
2. The Artful Dodger is a bitter man.
So in an effort to conclude this epic tale of love in a Long Island catering hall, here we go – the reception highlights:
– There were mirrors on every wall of every room in the catering hall. I mean every wall. You couldn’t take a picture without having a flash bounce back at you from somewhere. My poor little sister actually became disoriented at one point. I thought she was going to live out one of those movie scenes where a person is stuck in a hall of mirrors with a killer and starts breaking mirrors trying to find which one is real.
– The food (more for it’s comedic value than for the nutritional value):
Even Nicole Richie would ask for more salad.
They forgot the eggs, bacon and cheese.
No, no – not so big. Please.
– The argument at our table over “live band” vs. DJ. I say that a DJ is always better, as long as he plays the music you want him to play and doesn’t score your wedding reception like it’s a roller skating rink. Everyone else says live band, at which point the live band at the reception breaks into “At Last” (cough, cliche, cough) by Etta James for the bride and groom’s song. This turns the topic of conversation to what my wedding song will be, which prompts The Girlfriend to get up and go to the bathroom. Then my mother, sister and I have this conversation:
Mom: “What song are you and I going to dance to at your wedding?”
Me: “I don’t know.”
Mom: “Well, the whole point of the mother/son dance is for the mother to have one last moment with her son before she gives him away to the bride. But there’s no way I’m ever giving you away.”
Me: “Why do I picture us dancing to “I’ll Be Watching You” by Sting?”
Mom: (laughing) “Great choice.” (then serious) “Great choice.”
– THE CRYSTAL PANTHER!
– This quote (overheard while waiting at the bar) made by someone from the bride’s family in reference to the reception:
“This one is nice. I like it more than the last one. But the second one is still my favorite.”
– The Chocolate Fountain.
There was so much buzz about the chocolate fountain, you would have thought it was a record release party for the chocolate fountain. When it was finally unveiled, I have to admit it didn’t disappoint. Basically, it’s a cascading stream of melted chocolate that you dip strawberries, bananas or other pieces of fruit in. Or, if you’re like me, pieces of cake, cookies, coffee, your spoon and anything else you can find that will hold chocolate.
But then, the most priceless moment of the night, when the bride comes over to our table and this exchange happens:
Bride: “So does everyone love the chocolate fountain?
Everyone: “Oh yeah, it’s great.”
Bride: “It is, isn’t it!” (to my older sister) “Did you have one at your wedding?”
Sister: (so confused) “No?”
Bride: “Oh . . .” (She leaves the table.)
Sister: “What the hell was that?”
The Girlfriend: “You should have said, ‘No, but at my fourth wedding, I definitely will.’”
– Party favors:
Because you can never have too many.