The Daily Dump

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Tuesday, October 18

It’s Like Losing a Friend You Never Had


I consider all the blogs I have listed on the right under the heading “Blogs That Had Me At Hello” to be my friends, even though I don’t actually know any of them (except This is 14th Street but her grammar and spelling are often times disastrous and offensive).

I consider us friends because we’re linked through some shared interest (like most friends are). We share a love of letting others into our lives, letting them read our most private thoughts and experiences and hoping that they will validate us by leaving comments. And because obviously we have a lot in common, otherwise I wouldn’t like their writing or their humor or their stories. And because if I ever needed money I wouldn’t hesitate to go to any of them.

Which is why it’s so painful that this morning I had to delete a blog off the list. Not This is 14th Street because she often fails to capitalize words at the beginning of sentences (?) and not Citizen of the Month because he likes to accuse me of pedophiliac intentions; no it was a much more sad reason than that. Hermitude in NYC has shut down her blog.

I first came across Hermitude in NYC as a link on someone else’s blog, as is the most common way to make new friends. Even though I don’t think “hermitude” is a word, I was immediately taken with her dry wit, her love of burritos and her incredible hair. There was no question: she had me at hello.

Over the next few months our relationship grew. I began commenting on her posts with off color and provocative remarks. We bonded over our war with Time Warner Cable, marking the first time we would link each other. We were on the fast track to forming a blog clique, replete with inside jokes and references to people no one else knew and incessant hyper-linking.

But then things changed. Hermitude had a birthday and a rebirth and wiped out all her previous posts and started anew. I could smell the change in the air like tuna salad.

She posted a few more times in the following weeks but then yesterday came the post I was fearing: “Farewell to Blogging.” I commented, begging her to stay. It was no good. She was already gone. Today it’s only: Not Found. No use checking the Blogger Knowledge Base for further assistance – I know they don’t have the answers to my problem.

It’s hard losing a friend, but it’s harder losing a friend you never knew, mostly because you don’t know how to say goodbye. Literally, you don’t know how to reach them in order to say goodbye. And even if you could reach them, you would have to say something like, “Hey, Hermitude? The Daily Dump misses you.” Meaning you would not only be referring to yourself in the third person, but in the third person blog name. That’s a hard thing to do, and more than a little embarrassing for someone like me with the word “dump” in their blog name. So I’ll just say this: “Hermitude, if you’re reading this – Good luck with whatever you do in life. You’ve been a great friend. Thanks for the bloggeries. (Kind of like blog memories, you know? Bloggeries? Or maybe Moggeries? I’m just rambling now . . . I’ve never been good at goodbyes.)

16 Comments:

and just for you making fun of my grammar (which i dont believe in grammar by the way) I'm deleting mine too. thanks a lot.

By Blogger The Garbologist, at 12:58 PM  

Blog friends are the best kind. They share their secrets, maybe even their sex lives with you. They read your incoherent ramblings and leave supportive comments. AND you never have to buy them Christmas presents.

By Blogger Rabbit, at 2:03 PM  

A touching commentary. My hat's off to you.

By Blogger Omnipotent Poobah, at 2:04 PM  

I know what you mean about blogships (hey- it's not like bloggeries is any better so back off!). It's weird to think of these people as friends when I've never them. Yet, some days I have more interaction with blogger pals than with irl friends. Sorry for your loss. Sorrier you have the word dump in your blog name.

By Blogger Lizzie, at 4:18 PM  

My hair is better.

By Blogger T.G., at 4:23 PM  

i read hermitude too. i mourn for the loss to the blogging world.

By Blogger Sub Girl, at 4:28 PM  

tear.

By Blogger VespaRosso, at 5:07 PM  

That's the nicest thing that I've read all day.

(I wish that I had something witty to say, but I can't do it. You are too sincere.)

By Blogger Momentary Academic, at 6:23 PM  

blogs that had me at hello. brilliant.

By Blogger Joe Tornatore, at 9:03 PM  

That just sucks ass. Not the post, the disappearance of a blog. You can't even call 911. Or you could, but you might end up somewhere warm and safe and protected from yourself.

By Blogger Sam, at 10:31 PM  

As tongue in cheek as this post was, I could actually feel the emotion behind it. Blogging is definitely a weird thing that is much different than the letters abroad or the pen pals of the past. Who the hell are these people you're reading and why do you care about their cats?

So sad to hear about Hermitude. Maybe she actually got a life, unlike us.

By Anonymous Neil, at 1:11 AM  

I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling the loss. Seems like everyone I know that blogs or reads them regularly was a fan.

By Blogger spinachdip, at 1:56 AM  

This is interesting, since I was just talking to a friend about the opposite problem -- breaking up a blogationship. How can I de-link without injuring delicate feelings?

By Blogger Megarita, at 10:42 AM  

T.G. Your hair is nicer. A lot nicer.

By Blogger [Disgrundled], at 6:36 PM  

I don't get the hair comment. When did I ever claim to have good hair? I'd actually claim the opposite (which would be that I have BAD hair). I'd prefer that, when first meeting me, people have the lowest of expectations.

Thank you and goodnight...

By Blogger citizen, at 10:14 PM  

Really sad.
But this is last year's post, right?
Hope you've found lots of new friends in the blogsphere by now.

Send my best regards to Hermitude, wherever she is.

By Anonymous Marisa, at 6:37 PM  

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