Here they are, culled from my email – the best comments that Haloscan took from my blog and treated like a stripper on a cruise ship with the Minnesota Vikings. Enjoy.
(Sorry I didn’t provide links to everyone’s profile, but I didn’t have all of them. And I learned in grade school that I shouldn’t chew gum if I don’t have enough to offer the whole class. I think this was the kind of thing they were talking about?)
Best Comment From My Little Sister, Proving That She May Be The Most Affected One Of Us All
It took me little while to get the "Brangelina" thing. At first, I thought, "Oh! That's how you spell braciole!" Then I thought, "Faux Italian city in Tennessee?" in all of about 3 seconds.
- Catherine, from the post Brangelina, The Homeless and Sitcoms
Best Comment Fulfilling The Promise Of The Blog Title
Once again you provide me with fantastic toilet reading.
- Matt, from the post Wearing Your Stupidity On Your Wrist
Best Comment Using The Phrase “Sucks Balls” Twice
Time Warner sucks ball down here in TX. We have some weird alien ran company named Grande. Seriously, you cant watch MTV when it rains. Amen to GW lost in H[ome]D[epot]. He sucks balls too.
- mrsg, from the post A Few Thoughts on Friday
Best Comment That Made Me Second Guess My Sexuality
You're the only guy I know that understands the whole Gilmore Girls/Cosby Show/MacGyver/Dawson's Creek thing . . .
- VespaRosso, from the post The Top Five List (Vol. 2)
Most Self Serving Comment
Someone tell that tall guy to shut up.
Hey tall guy....shut up.
- Scott, from the post Further Proof That The NY Times Uses Big Words
Most Nostalgic Comment
I am going to name my kid "Colt 45" after the drink that led to me to losing my virginity to my first boyfriend.
Best Post That Sounds Like Something You Would Be Caught Screaming Out Of Context When The Music At The Bar Stopped
Crap sounds good to me.
- Shopgirl, from the post More Bad Advice For Good People
Funniest Comment That Makes You A Little Queasy
Brings back memories of my dog, when young would go outside take a steaming poo and quickly (i guess while it was still warm?) munch it up in a few gulps. My mother would bang on the window screaming, "Jesus Christ Jesus NO!!" and Bonnie would look up wagging her tail . . . a poo hanging from her mouth.
- James, from the post A Tribute to My Best Friend (But He's Dead Now)
Best Comment Where I Only Know What Two-Thirds Of The Words Mean
You're so douchie.
- TP, from the post What It Means To Be Queens Boulevard
Best Comment That Should Be Turned Into An Indie Movie
As the daughter of an atheist who was raised Jewish but not technically Jewish - my grandmother was a lapsed Christian of some sort, my grand father however was Jewish, I completely understand I’m that Jewish non Jew who's mother has been answering the call of Satan.
- Fidget, from the post There’s Nothing Gentile About It
Best “Thank God You Said It Because I Was Thinking It But Didn’t Want To Say It” Comment
Lori and Dori? Man, talk about guaranteeing your children a life of ridicule and mocking. Oh, wait...
- Anonymous, from the post Aliens Come To Somalia, I Guess Not For Our Food
Best Comment From An Undercover Starbucks Employee
Also, another reason to love fall: Pumpkin Spice lattes at Starbucks. They can seriously put a horrible morning right back on track.
- Tara, from the post Three Things I Thought Yesterday
Best “I Should Have Thought Of That” Comment
Other cough drop companies should create competing mystery coughers . . . you would never know which to offer . . . "Halls? Ricola? Sucrets? Glass of Robitussin? Dammit! WHICH ONE ARE YOU!!!"
- The Bourbon Samuri, from the post Being Nice May Finally Be Worth It
Best Comment That Will Prevent Me From Running For Political Office
How can you not like Thanksgiving. All you have to do is watch football while the women in your family cook a feast. Then its perfectly acceptable to take a nap. Not only that but its a four day weekend. What are you a communist?
- Anonymous, from the post A Top Five List Full Of Hate That You Just Have To Read
Best Example Of How Much Hermitude Loved Me
Fall is my favorite season, you bastard.
- Leslie, from the post A Top Five List Full Of Hate That You Just Have To Read
Best Comment That I Read In The Voice Of John Cleese For Some Reason
In other news, the city of London has decided to change it's name . . .
Comment That Best Sums Up My Readers
Hey I'm still reading . . . when I'm sober.
- Kate, from the post Some Things Including Vomit, Genocide and The Easy Way to Prison