The Daily Dump

A place where everyone (me) is welcomed to express their opinions openly and honestly. I encourage free thinking, free wheeling, off-the-cuff banter and monetary donations.

Tuesday, November 22

My (Almost) Racist Haircut

Scene: In the back room where they wash your hair. Me in one chair and a middle aged woman in the chair next to me. We both have our heads back in our respective sinks. The woman washing my hair is doing the massage the temples thing and it is producing a warm sensation in my left thigh.

The woman who cuts my hair, who is Asian, walks in front of our chairs. She pauses in front of the middle aged woman. All of my dialogue is internal:

Asian Hair Stylist: (in Chinese accent) “Ohh, I love your shoe!”

Me: (with smile on my face) How nice.

Middle Aged Woman: (chipper) “Oh do you? Do you love this one too?”

Me: (practically sitting up in my chair, covered in suds) WHAT?!

Aside

Apparently, I was sitting next to one of the most unabashedly racist women in the world. So calloused she is she will make fun of an Asian woman’s accent right to her face. And not, like, when they’re caught in a traffic jam or fighting over the same discounted sweater, but in public, while the Asian woman was only trying to be nice! I’m so uncomfortable in the chair I can’t even enjoy my hair washing. There’s sweat on my brow. I can’t believe what I just heard.

The hair stylist and the woman washing my hair smile uncomfortably and chuckle a little. The stylist finally acknowledges the Middle Aged Woman:

Asian Hair Stylist: (smiling) “Awww. Did you break it?”

Me: Did she just threaten her?

Middle Aged Woman: “Yeah, the cast doesn’t come off for another few weeks.”

Aside

Apparently, the Middle Aged Woman had a cast on one foot. So when the Asian Hair Stylist commented on liking her shoe, she really meant she liked her one shoe. I almost shit my pants over nothing. The question now is, am I the racist one here? And if so, has anyone else ever become racist while having their hair washed?

17 Comments:

You're not racist at all, you're just more sensitive to perceived bias than most.

Besides, the middle-aged woman probably WAS being a bitch. I'm willing to bet her middle-aged soon-to-be ex-husband left her for a hot, 22 year old Asian stylist.

By Blogger Trix, at 11:02 AM  

It must have been the ingredients in the shampoo.

By Blogger Kelly, at 11:16 AM  

I like how you almost threw down in a salon...belligerent, but bouncy and conditioned!

By Blogger Megarita, at 11:35 AM  

my coworker had his haircut in a black barbershop once and came back with a) a fucked up haircut and b) saying that he'd never go to another black barbershop. Apparently the uptown fade didn't do it for him. That's a little more on the racist side than what you experienced.

By Blogger Heather B., at 11:36 AM  

Lotta racism in haircutting...even the goodfellas were into it:

"Hey, you got a phone? Two n*****s just cut my hair. You believe that shit, huh? You fuckin' believe that?"

By Blogger Ace Cowboy, at 12:30 PM  

I wouldn't say you are a racist. Your first thought, like most Americans, seemed to be racially biased. Have you ever seen the movie Crash? I can just imagine what the shampoo girl must have been thinking about you when you practically sat up to see the shoe.

By Blogger Mellinnia Woman, at 12:47 PM  

ahhh very good,and yes your the racist!

Bastard! lol jk

Anyway I've had a similar situation happen where I only knew some of the story and not all of the story...

*Note 2 Self*
Don't play telephone with B.I. lol haha jk

-r.a.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:09 PM  

Next time why don't you just light a cross inside the salon, racist!

Just kidding!

(Light it outside the salon, it's more polite)

By Blogger AnonymousCoworker, at 3:02 PM  

I get most of my racist thoughts while washing my own hair.

Kidding.

By Blogger Hope, at 3:11 PM  

While we're sharing, here's a racist thought: How come no one washes my hair better than the Spanish woman at the salon? I've tried to do exactly what she does, but it feels approximately 2% as good. What am I doing wrong? Do I have to be Spanish to do it right? I guess I'll never know, I took Italian in college.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 3:20 PM  

I think the trick is to apply the right amount of pressure with your fingertips and leave them the leave your slap.

Plus having huge cleavage in your face at the time really helps create that warm thigh sensation. :P

By Blogger Kate, at 3:46 PM  

I once turned racist while I was beating up on some minority type people.

But only a little.

By Blogger rob, at 3:49 PM  

hmmm ...

I still don't get completely how the first misunderstood statement is racist.


either way I like to sprinkle racism in my cereal for breakfast. part of the healthy TAN way to start the dya.

By Blogger The Assimilated Negro, at 5:56 PM  

No you aren't racist. Racism has moved from overt to covert over the last 50 years or so. Modern racists operate under the assumption that racism no longer exists, thus rationalizing their antogonism towards efforts at equality. The fact that you made immediate assumptions about the nature of that woman's comments suggests you are more aware and sensitive to racism than a modern racist would be.

By Anonymous grad student for life, at 12:19 AM  

Am I the only one who found this funny, then? I just imagined the whole situation. Funny. You learn to keep all personal dialogue internal .. :]

By Blogger Deity, at 12:33 AM  

I laughed out loud reading this post. I knew exactly what you thought the middle-aged lady was on about... you thought she was mocking the Asian stylist for commenting on "the shoe" instead of properly saying "shoes"....

I think it's so funny that I just might add you to my links.... ;)

By Blogger Vesper, at 4:57 PM  

This is EXACTLY why I don't get my hair cut at salons; I don't need to go all "half-mast" over a sexy shampoo. Also, I shave my head with clippers in my shower. Yes. So, problem solved...

By Blogger Alex, at 12:41 PM  

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