From: "Christian Dating"
Subject: Meet Singles with Christian Values
Date: Thursday, November 10, 2005 2:59 PM
Are you looking for lasting love or just some new friends? What are you waiting for?
One, HOW DID YOU GET THIS EMAIL ADDRESS?! I’ve never received anything like this before, and I refuse to believe that it is merely a coincidence that earlier this afternoon I was pimping out my non-Jewish friend as the twin of a spokes model for a Jewish dating website (what the hell am I writing here?), and now I’m getting invitations to join a Christian dating network. Am I now on a “religious prejudice dating interest” spammers list?
Two, come on . . . a Christian DATING network? Jdate I buy. Jewish girls are fun and naughty (baseless stereotype). And Temple . . . I mean, it seems kind of fun. You get dressed up and you go out for lox afterwards. Beats the hell out of wearing your “nice khakis” to Sunday Mass and not being allowed to take the Blood of Jesus Christ because your mom doesn’t think it’s sanitary to drink out of the same cup as everyone else. Plus it doesn’t even have a cool name like “Cdate.”
But more importantly, what’s next? An Episcopalian dating site? I don’t even know what Episcopalians DO. Greek Orthodox? Hindu? How many guys can get away with a profile that reads: “Hobbies: Hare Krishna?” And MOST importantly, am I going to get invitations for all of them simply because I exploited my Jewish-looking Irish friend for a few laughs? Again I ask, DID CARRIE BRADSHAW EVER HAVE PROBLEMS LIKE THESE?!
* There is absolutely no need for me to censor my work email address. While I have had some friends who have gotten in trouble for sending “inappropriate” messages in their work email, just the other day I sent a message that contained the line, “It's kind of like picking a dog from the pound: there's a lot of mutts who will bite you, but somewhere there's also that purebred that is just waiting to lick peanut butter gently from your nuts.” For clarification, the sentence is in reference to a guy finding a cool girl to date. Which I suppose brings us full circle, although I’m pretty sure they don’t allow stuff like that at the Christian Mingles.
(Note: Is it just me or does the guy look extremely date rapey?)