The Daily Dump

A place where everyone (me) is welcomed to express their opinions openly and honestly. I encourage free thinking, free wheeling, off-the-cuff banter and monetary donations.

Thursday, November 10

Someone In My Office Is A Spammer Spy

A mere two hours after posting my Jdate model look-alike friend (because this is clearly why I started a blog in the first place), I received this email to at my work email address.

From: "Christian Dating"
To: CENSORED*
Subject: Meet Singles with Christian Values
Date: Thursday, November 10, 2005 2:59 PM

Single Christians,

Are you looking for lasting love or just some new friends? What are you waiting for?

One, HOW DID YOU GET THIS EMAIL ADDRESS?! I’ve never received anything like this before, and I refuse to believe that it is merely a coincidence that earlier this afternoon I was pimping out my non-Jewish friend as the twin of a spokes model for a Jewish dating website (what the hell am I writing here?), and now I’m getting invitations to join a Christian dating network. Am I now on a “religious prejudice dating interest” spammers list?

Two, come on . . . a Christian DATING network? Jdate I buy. Jewish girls are fun and naughty (baseless stereotype). And Temple . . . I mean, it seems kind of fun. You get dressed up and you go out for lox afterwards. Beats the hell out of wearing your “nice khakis” to Sunday Mass and not being allowed to take the Blood of Jesus Christ because your mom doesn’t think it’s sanitary to drink out of the same cup as everyone else. Plus it doesn’t even have a cool name like “Cdate.”

But more importantly, what’s next? An Episcopalian dating site? I don’t even know what Episcopalians DO. Greek Orthodox? Hindu? How many guys can get away with a profile that reads: “Hobbies: Hare Krishna?” And MOST importantly, am I going to get invitations for all of them simply because I exploited my Jewish-looking Irish friend for a few laughs? Again I ask, DID CARRIE BRADSHAW EVER HAVE PROBLEMS LIKE THESE?!

____________________________

* There is absolutely no need for me to censor my work email address. While I have had some friends who have gotten in trouble for sending “inappropriate” messages in their work email, just the other day I sent a message that contained the line, “It's kind of like picking a dog from the pound: there's a lot of mutts who will bite you, but somewhere there's also that purebred that is just waiting to lick peanut butter gently from your nuts.” For clarification, the sentence is in reference to a guy finding a cool girl to date. Which I suppose brings us full circle, although I’m pretty sure they don’t allow stuff like that at the Christian Mingles.

(Note: Is it just me or does the guy look extremely date rapey?)

13 Comments:

Your mom didn't think that it was a good idea to take communion wine either? First the holloween stuff, now this....hmmmm.

By Blogger Momentary Academic, at 4:56 PM  

I wouldn't worry too much. I get them all the time. Wait til you get the Christian Mortgage one. Now, those are funny.

By Blogger Trix, at 5:05 PM  

It does seem like a random category. Now, OCDate or LostDate I could buy, because at least you'd have something to discuss on your first date. What do Christians discuss? "Have you read that 'Revealations' yet? Crazy stuff," or, "So, persecute any Jews lately?"

By Blogger RetroDragon, at 6:31 PM  

Someone plastered a sign on my favorite door offering "Christian Handymen" services.

I've stopped asking "what next?"

By Blogger zazzafooky, at 7:06 PM  

So, umm... just wondering... do you, maybe, um. Do you still have that link? 'Cause a friend of mine might wanna date some Christians.

No, it's not me. I said it's my friend. I can date all the Christians I want all on my own. Sheesh.

By Anonymous jenny, at 7:57 PM  

For some reason, the "Christian" smiles on the Christian daters seem more sexy and "forbidden" to me than those Jewish smiles, which just remind me of my Jewish relatives on Long Island. That red-haired Irish shiksa -- va va voom! (although the Christian guy looks a little creepy, like he's just going to talk about the Resurrection all night during dinner in Chinatown).

By Blogger Neil, at 9:19 PM  

Is there anything more endlessly fun than making jokes based on religious stereotypes? Because I don't think there is.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 9:55 PM  

Besides what fun is Christian dating? Can they even hold hands? And what do you do with the "third date we have sex" rule? Or do they just go to confession together in the morning? So many unanswered questions.

By Blogger de Kooning's Spleen, at 1:06 AM  

You're right, Jewish girls are naughty, case in point: A Jewish high-paid hooker from Manhattan www.postmoderncourtesan.com

And holly-roller boy could give Ted Bundy a run for his money; the chick looks fresh off the farm.

By Blogger _gentle, at 7:18 AM  

Or holler-roller boy could pass as Chris Kattan's gayer brother.

By Blogger _gentle, at 7:20 AM  

haha "Cdate"?!

It was a sign you heathen!!! lol jk



-r.a.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:09 AM  

I have to say that the guy in the Ad looks VERY creepy. Just a gal's opinion.
And yes.. ok I admit.. I'm the one who gave the "Christian Dating Agency" your email address.. Just though you could use some RELIGION in your life. haha. :-)

By Blogger Audrey, at 11:18 AM  

My friend is dating a girl who doesn't drink, I am not sure which is worse a christian or a nondrinker? Both scare me equally.

By Blogger Betty, at 2:58 PM  

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