The Daily Dump

A place where everyone (me) is welcomed to express their opinions openly and honestly. I encourage free thinking, free wheeling, off-the-cuff banter and monetary donations.

Tuesday, November 1

We Take A Break From Birthday Week For This Important Message

I’m not sure everyone (ahem, Lizzie) understands what an amazing feat the lemon flip was.

To help you understand, I’ve made an easy to follow diagram detailing the event’s significance:


















My beer with a lemon wedged on the side and The Girlfriend’s glass of wine stand approximately 10 inches apart.


















I give the lemon wedge a slight flick, intending merely to dump it into the beer adding a light, citrusy flavor.



















Apparently not knowing my own strength, the lemon wedge goes flying into the air, revolving no less than twice.



















The lemon wedge lands safely WEDGED onto the lip of the wine glass. Not balanced, not resting, WEDGED, AS THOUGH THE HAND OF GOD HIMSELF CAME DOWN AND PLACED A LEMON ON A GLASS OF WINE.

I contemplate leaving the bar, moving to Middle America and never looking any one of my friends in the eye again, knowing that I would have left them at my highest point. Instead I take my lemon back and drink my beer.

18 Comments:

That's clever. You ARE the Messiah.

Happy Nearly Birthday...but i think i'll come back on Friday;)

By Blogger auburn, at 5:16 AM  

What a great diagram. Is it wrong that I like it better than the lemon flipping feat?

By Blogger Momentary Academic, at 6:14 AM  

you've got that down to a SCIENCE, dan! perhaps your special powers come from your impending birthday.

By Blogger Sub Girl, at 9:01 AM  

Yes, it is wrong to like the diagram better than the lemon flipping feat.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 10:15 AM  

And how much time did it take you to create that diagram?

By Blogger Hope, at 11:53 AM  

Yeah, but can you roll a quarter off of your nose and into a shot glass? (It's a signature move.)

By Blogger green_canary, at 12:05 PM  

You have alot of time on your hands don't you? =p

-r.a.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:05 PM  

Hyperbole plus excellent diagrams! I think we all got ourselves our own birthday presents right here...

By Blogger Megarita, at 12:43 PM  

I once found someone's contact in the pool. I was hailed as a hero. I truly don't know why I haven't offed myself yet, since clearly my life has already peaked.

By Blogger RetroDragon, at 12:46 PM  

But can you do it again?

Counting the days until the big birthday day!

By Blogger Neil, at 12:49 PM  

the midwest could use another messiah. esp. a messiah that likes orange with brown.

By Blogger madison's favorite son, at 1:50 PM  

ok, ok, it's more impressive than I first thought. I still say it doesn't outdo my great peanut feat of 2003 though. You don't understand- we weren't trying for greatness. I was eating peanuts on the other side of the room, he asked for some, I jokingly tossed one at him, and it landed in his mouth - 30 FEET AWAY. After a moment of stunned silence, we both leapt to our feet, realizing we had just accomplished something not likely to be seen in this earthly life again.

By Blogger Lizzie, at 1:57 PM  

It's the birthday 'season...' Drinks and good luck for the whole month. I'm a scorpio too, it's just how it has to be.

By Blogger DC Cookie, at 2:58 PM  

I'm sorry I was too drunk and busy inhaling James' entire pack of mentos to have shared in this moment with you. It was truly a miracle.

By Blogger T.G., at 2:59 PM  

It should be noted that it occured at my birthday party so maybe you should attempt it again on your's. That peanut tossing thing doesn't even come close.

By Blogger The Voice of Frivolity, at 7:39 PM  

That is amazing. Truly the gods smile down on you.

By Blogger Rabbit, at 9:55 PM  

wow.

By Blogger Malatron, at 10:20 PM  

Truly Awesome!!

By Blogger Kristina, at 1:37 AM  

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