I love year-in-review articles. I don’t know what it is about them, but I can’t get enough of over-opinionated people shooting off their “Best Songs of 2005” and “Most Ridiculous Fashion Trends of 2005” lists. I actually still have, somewhere in the recesses of the “storage” portion of my closet, the New York Times magazine dedicated to “The Most Important Things, People, Events of the Millennium” from 1999. I don’t think I even read it through at the time, but I can’t bring myself to part with it; as though I may take it out when my grandchildren are of a reasonable age to learn how important the elevator was in comparison to German Nazi rule.
So of course I figured I would do my own year in review. Just so everyone knows, this is a serious test of my attention span to dedicate so much time to a singular theme. It’s not like teenage girls from the 80’s are involved this time. This is just a fair warning . . .
Also, I don’t really “know” things. I often pretend I do, making up explanations both scientific and logical for things about which I have no understanding whatsoever. But when it comes down to it, all someone has to say is “You’re full of shit,” and that’s the point where I call them a childish name and make fun of some obvious flaw they have. So while some might call my list “shortsighted” or “frighteningly irrelevant” understand that I’m doing the best I can and that I’m too lazy to do any better.
Also, I welcome everyone to send me via comment or email any question they might have concerning my feelings on 2005. Want to know the most embarrassing thing that happened to me in 2005? Just ask! Want to know who I thought the biggest asshole of 2005 was? Just ask! (You see where this is going.) One of my new years resolutions is to make this blog more interactive, and, like with sex, I’m starting early.
First post to follow shortly – as soon as readjust to these weird surroundings and figure out why people keep coming to me with papers asking me to do things . . .