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Friday, December 16

A Dramatic Rendition Of Last Night’s Finale Of “The Apprentice” In Emoticons


The season finale of “The Apprentice” last night pitted Randall, a 34 year old consulting firm owner from New Jersey against Rebecca, a 23 year old financial journalist from Chicago.

Although Rebecca was clearly the more attractive contestant, in the end it was Randall who heard the magic words: “You’re hired.”

Randall:

Rebecca:

But wait – immediately following his announcement of Randall as the winner, Trump sat both contestants back down and asked Randall what he thought of Rebecca. As he had done throughout the season, Randall heaped praise on the brunette with mousey features but a deceptively tight body. Trump then says: “Randall, if you were me would you hire Rebecca too?”

Randall:

Rebecca:

Everyone is taken aback. This move is UNPRECEDENTED in the history of “The Apprentice.” Randall thinks deeply for half a second,

Randall:

Rebecca:

then tells Trump that the show is called “The Apprentice,” not “The Apprenti,” therefore there should be only one apprentice.

Rebecca:

Randall:

Oxford English Dictionary Editors:

Trump then states that he could have been swayed to hire her, but if that is Randall’s decision he will leave it at that.

Rebecca:

Randall:

(End Scene)

The real question:

How close did we come to the first ever live nationally televised hate crime?

The world may never know.

19 Comments:

Good Stuff!

By Blogger Defiant Symmetry, at 3:48 PM  

This is the new "thing-to-do" in reality TV apparently.

Two weeks ago on Survivor, Hot Southern Cindy won the challenge for the new car.

Then Probst told her she could give a car to the 4 remaining contestants if she gave up hers. (Essentially doing a very good deed to her fellow Survivors.)

She said "No"...and then was voted off the next day.

Her final words: "I'll be thinking of you guys when I look at the stars through the sun roof of my new car."

Selfishness...it's reality TV at its best.

By Blogger tall 1, at 4:19 PM  

selfishness reminds me of that defunct game show that starred kennedy, wasnt it called "how hard would you fuck over your neighbor?"

By Anonymous shawna, at 4:27 PM  

And this is the ultimate selfishness - the only thing he had to lose here was a portion of the spotlight.

My only regret was that Rebecca was so calm about it. I would have loved to see tobacco chewing Screamy McScreamer from last season in her position. He would have pulled out a machete while Donald sat there asking George, "How'd he get that past security?"

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 4:42 PM  

wow, i thought rebecca had consistently proven herself.

i guess business is business. he probably saw her as a possible threat. im sure she will do just fine, though.

By Blogger Crystal, at 6:26 PM  

I was so disappointed when Randall did that. How lame. He had a chance to do something cool for someone else, while not taking anything really away from himself, and he didn't do it. Boooooo!

~ Christina

By Blogger Christina, at 8:25 PM  

Rebecca got a job offer from Yahoo to write financial reports. She'll do just fine.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:04 AM  

I think it would have been funny if Donald Trump said to Randall (after the selfish act) "Wow, maybe I made a mistake hiring such a selfish asshole, you're fired! Rebecca you're hired thanks to Randall's stupity!"

That moment really pissed me off and you're right, he had very little to lose - Although by denying her the opportunity he lost a lot more: people's respect. Yea that's right!

By Blogger rawbean, at 2:07 PM  

Am I the only one that thinks that Randall did the right thing? What's the point of a competition if you don't have winners and losers? That's like saying the Buffalo Bills deserved rings for making the Super Bowl four times.

I would like to see anyone that says stuff against Randall to give up half of their lottery winnings to a runner-up because they were only one number off. If Trump though Rebecca was good enough he should have named her the winner. Since he didn't, why should Randall? Putting the decision on Randall's shoulders was lame and a cop out. And the fact that she did not complain showed that Randall was right when he said that she was not tough enough for the business world.

By Blogger Frodo Corleone, at 10:00 PM  

Frodo knows what he's talking about! :)

By Anonymous Don, at 7:42 AM  

Thank you. You saved me from staring at The Donald's hair all season. I can rest easy now that I know who won and how through smilies;!

By Blogger Silent All These Years, at 9:52 AM  

If Randall had agreed that Donald should hire Rebecca he wouldn't have had to give up "half" of his new job or his new salary. Everyone already knew he was the winner, so Rebecca also getting a job wouldn't have taken that away from him either. And Rebecca did complain, she said "That's unfortunate" but they started playing the closing music so you could barely hear that and anything else she may have had to say.

~ Christina

By Blogger Christina, at 1:52 PM  

I think Randal showed himself to be greedy and selfish. If Rebecca had won and Trump had asked her if he should also hire Randal, I'm certain she would have said yes. Randal talked the talk, but he didn't walk the walk.

By Blogger Carol, at 12:13 AM  

I don't watch The Apprentice, but this was an interesting post. Very informative!

By Blogger jane, at 12:40 AM  

Liked the emoticons 'telling' the story. Good stuff.

By Blogger Audrey, at 11:13 AM  

randall = cockinballs

By Blogger Angelina, at 11:21 AM  

I'm reading this at work, trying really hard not to laugh out loud. That was fucking hilarious.

By Blogger Heather B., at 12:54 PM  

i think randall made an amazingly independent decision, businesswise. a lot will debate his decision for months to come. in the end you will have to agree that he bravely did what nobody else would have: he went against the tide, and made a decision he knew would be unpopular, but stood firmly by it.

By Blogger Shiv, at 10:10 PM  

HAHAH! HAHAHhahahahhahahahah....


Funny shit.

Rebecca: >:-( "Fuck you."

Randall: ;-D "Get a job!"

By Blogger TheIdleReceptionist, at 2:54 PM  

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