The Daily Dump

A place where everyone (me) is welcomed to express their opinions openly and honestly. I encourage free thinking, free wheeling, off-the-cuff banter and monetary donations.

Monday, February 6

Aaron Neville Still Has That Thing On His Face

The game was boring, the commercials were all hype and the halftime show was one of the most awkward things I’ve ever seen. I found myself trying to watch, but cringing at the sight of McJagger’s exposed midriff, not because it’s that unpleasant a sight (“That man’s never worked out a day in his life, and look at him,” was heard from somewhere in the room) but mostly because I thought that surely the next hip swivel/foot stomp would be the one that took him down.

Despite all that, no one could top Aaron Neville. His rendition of the Star Spangled Banner with Aretha Franklin was like a talent show at an old folks home. Did Aaron even know he was at the Superbowl? I feel like halfway through he got distracted when he decided he wanted another cup of pudding. So he handed it over to Aretha and started wandering around the field looking for the push-cart with all the concessions.

And if I had to rank the commercials, I think it would go in this order:

Top Five Superbowl Commercials

5. Dove’s campaign for real beauty: Because I have a soft spot for girls with low self-esteem. And I don’t mean romantically.

4. ESPN: Was hyped as a “shush-the-room” commercial. Definitely wasn’t that, but without the build-up would have been cool.

3. Hide Bud Light in Office Walls: Watching a Bud Light commercial is very similar to drinking a Bud Light. I come away with a bad taste in my mouth, feeling disappointed and a little stupid. But “people acting like monkeys” is the new “actually using monkeys.”

2. MacGyver MasterCard: I also have a soft spot for MacGyver. And while this commercial screams, “So obvious it should have been made a long time ago,” it was the perfect cliché. And I would still trust Richard Dean Anderson with my life.

1. FedEx: Cavemen office politics + cartoon violence = comedy. The guy getting stepped on in the end was unnecessary, albeit I assume a real risk during the time period.

Top Five Worst Superbowl Commercials

5. Cadillac: It was like an indie film car commercial. The only bright spot was when they showed people’s reactions to the car. They may as well have had captions that read:

“Artistic white man likes the car . . .”

“Urban black man likes the car . . .”

“Beautiful yet vapid woman likes the car . . .”

4. Sierra Mist: Were the Sierra Mist people actually excited when they got Kathy Griffin? I would have loved to be at the company’s CEO’s Superbowl party when he hushed everyone down as the commercial came on. Then after it’s over he says, “Pretty good, huh?! So what’d you think?” and everyone makes an awkwardly polite comment before Griffin stumbles out of the bathroom with toothpaste on her shirt.

3. Tim Allen’s The Shaggy Dog: A low point in Chris Berman’s career.

2. Pepsi: My friend Brendan said it best: “I’ve never wanted a Coke more in my life.”

1. Burger King: You’ve got the mascot of the year in The King and that’s the commercial you make? That’s like being a 7’1” black guy and deciding to take up ice hockey.


Hey! I love that you put the Dove commercial, it's actually Girl Scout sponsored for our Healthy Living program. When people go to the Dove website and donate, all proceeds go to the girl scouts. Not to mention, the song in the background was actual girl scouts from new york.

By Blogger Betty, at 2:00 PM  

you didn't like the miller lite commercial where the guy wrecks the girl while playing touch football? even with the pc ending it's top 5. maybe it's just because i have a penchant for beating women, but i liked it.

By Blogger Lozo, at 2:17 PM  

You liked the Fedex mersh? I thought when he kicked the dino-thing at the end was funny, but overall it was a dud.

I once saw Richard Dean Anderson at a restaurant when I visited LA. I'm pretty sure he skipped out on the check by creating a diversion with two Equal packets and a salad fork.

By Blogger Ace Cowboy, at 2:22 PM  

I liked the Miller Lite commercial, but because it aired after the Bud Light "co-workers fighting over beer" spot, it seemed like old hat. I mean, Bud Light had an old woman coming out of nowhere tackling someone.

And come on: "Federal Express hasn't been invented yet."

"Not my problem."

That's good stuff.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 2:53 PM  

I liked the razor commercial. 5 flippin' blades with a touchup blade on the reverse side.

I thought the commercial was for a car or something until the darn razor took center stage.

By Blogger pantrygirl, at 4:24 PM  

I agree wholeheartedly on the FedEx commercial being #1, and for the same reason. ("Hasn't been invented yet" Dammit, I even loved that it lacked punctuation, and that the response - "not my problem" - wasn't capitalized! GENIUS!) My whole party agreed on that one. But I also loved the Bud Light "secret revolving wall" one, and the Burger King one with the Whopperettes that were all dressed as parts of the burger, and for the finale, they all jumped on top of each other to make a burger. Fan-TAbulous...

I think I missed a lot of the commercials after the first quarter, though, because I was the only girl that my one girlfriend could talk to during the game, as all the rest of our group consisted of boy-type people. So I chatted, as good girlfriend's will do, in order to make her day less painful. And I missed a lot of the game because of that, too. But it seems like I didn't miss much in that respect...

By Blogger Faith, at 4:45 PM  

Yeah, I'm surprised the "magic fridge" commercial didn't make your top 5. Overall, the commercials were boring (much like the game... and the halftime show...) but I thought that one was pretty funny.

By Blogger Libby Mae Brown, at 4:50 PM  

I don't know, everyone's raving about this revolving wall commercial. Was I the only one who thought it was a little too simple? I mean first of all, when he "installed" the revolving refrigerator, you mean to tell me that the guys next door didn't see what he were doing? Is it really that surprising that suddenly there's a refrigerator in your livingroom, but not that surprising that there's a huge hole in the wall leading to your neighbor's apartment during the week-long construction period? Yes, I'm obviously overthinking this, but good humor needs a good set-up, and I didn't find one here.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 4:59 PM  

Good list-- I would add "adorable baby Clydesdale trying to pull the Budweiser sleigh" to my favorite commercial list. But I'm a sucker for blatant appeals to pathos.

Ameriquest gets the booby prize (and not in a good way) for "humor so dark it's not really humorous."

By Blogger mysterygirl!, at 5:13 PM  

I'm so with you on the Aaron Neville thing. I kept saying, "This is really for the SuperBowl?" It just seemed so sad.

And I loved the Fed-Ex commercial. I just loved the line, "Not my problem." I've gotta use that more often.

By Blogger Carolyn, at 5:50 PM  

I have to say that I'm most disappointed that the best commercial didn't make the list: clearly using your Nextel (or Sprint, or whatever it was) phone as a "criminal deterrant" was freaking hilarious!

...though Fed Ex comes in a close second

By Blogger undercover celebrity, at 5:57 PM  

You're absolutely right with the Sprint-Nextel one. I must have been in the bathroom when it aired during the game, but I saw a clip of it on the internet before. It was awesome.

And Ameriquest also wins the prize for "Best Commercials That Have Nothing To Do With What You're Selling," made famous by the commerical a few years back with the old man sitting in a chair shooting hampsters out of a cannon through a target.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 6:12 PM  

Neville is a trainwreck. He is nothing without his brother.

By Blogger Benson, at 8:00 PM  

The guy tackling the girl was actually for Michelob. And that's a problem for A-B, because they're devaluing their "premium" brand (ha!) and they're forcing their own brands to compete with each other.

I don't know, I was disappointed with pretty much all the commercials - there would be a great idea but never seemed to follow through and I kept thinking "Wait, that's it?"

By Blogger spinachdip, at 8:31 AM  

Aren't you even going to mention the new Pepsi slogan "Brown and bubbly?" Sounds like a porno if you ask me.

By Blogger Hope, at 1:05 PM  

Or something that happens after bad Mexican food.

By Blogger spinachdip, at 1:14 PM  

Well yeah, I'm obviously never drinking Pepsi again now.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 1:17 PM  

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