The Daily Dump

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Thursday, February 23

Curlers Are Angry – UPDATE!

Maybe it’s because their sport uses so much jargon that sometimes even they don’t know what they’re saying. I don’t know. But I’ll tell you who does have every right to be angry – the U.S. men’s curling team, who were knocked out of gold medal contention by Canada on Wednesday.

I mean, the Canadians pressured the U.S. from the start by drawing around and putting up guards. Then the U.S. fell behind when they got just one point when they had the hammer, while Canada regularly scored two. In the seventh end, they continually cleared out the house to keep the U.S. from picking up the crooked number. The Americans chose to clear out the house in the seventh to keep the hammer, then converted for two points to make it 6-5 after eight. With Canada controlling the hammer in the ninth, U.S. third Shawn Rojeski didn’t get his first throw over the hog line, and a light draw by skip Pete Fenson allowed Canada to own the top of the house leaving the U.S. open for a big end. The Canadians made a peel to score five and the Americans were done.

Talk about a heartbreaker, right?

UPDATE: The Americans will take home the bronze after defeating Britain today 8-6. With the U.S. holding LSFE advantage in the final end, they prevented the British from establishing guards while British skip David Murdoch could only land one rock in the house and one front-house weight for protection. But American skip Pete Fenson still had open draw to the right and curled in the hammer to secure the victory. It is America’s first medal ever in a Curling event.

Well at least everyone understood the last line. And that’s what mattes the most (*tear).


fucking curlers. used to shove me in my locker in high school. stole my girl. i think it was all the steroids.

By Blogger ducklet, at 8:51 AM  

I'm too lazy to do research. You should probably explain curling.

By Blogger Scarlet, at 9:29 AM  


...and that's what I think about that.

By Anonymous angelina, at 9:38 AM  

Thank you, B.I. you've totally made the olympics a worthwhile event. NBC should like totally pay you.

By Blogger Momentary Academic, at 11:01 AM  

you should at least get gawkered....tho' maybe your witticisms don't compare to those of...I don't know, say, FEISTY RED?


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:07 AM  

If anything, Curlers should be angry that their sport makes people thing of people who do curls with weights. Or that it reminds people of the things they use in beauty salons. I mean, c'mon, give these guys a better sport name.

Like broom swishers. Or ice walkers. Or big stone pushers. Something like that.

By Blogger Paul, at 11:36 AM  

i hear they've already lined up emilio estevez to play the part of the beleaguered but lovable coach in the made for Disney movie, 'the heartbreak hogs.' shawn rojeski is being played by that jerry mcguire kid.

By Blogger ducklet, at 11:56 AM  

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