The Daily Dump

A place where everyone (me) is welcomed to express their opinions openly and honestly. I encourage free thinking, free wheeling, off-the-cuff banter and monetary donations.

Tuesday, February 28

I’ll Tell You What’s Unnatural – Suffocating. That’s Unnatural.


It’s well established that my mom is what psychologists politely term “eccentric.” Growing up, she paid my sister and I to skip trick-or-treating, she refused (and still does) to buy a microwave because of it’s capacity to infect us all with cancer, and for a solid two years of my childhood she bought everything in the food store that had NEW! printed on the box. (Note: None of his should be construed as anything but affection. I absolutely love that I have a mother who bought an electric toothbrush and two days later offered it to me complaining that it “made her dizzy.”)

Her latest whimsical escapade has been into the world of “organic.” If it’s organic, chances are my mother has it: organic toothpaste, organic sugar, organic shampoo, organic cotton, organic pancake mix and organic peanut butter. I imagine if a salesman showed up at her door tomorrow with an “organic air filtration system,” she would take out her checkbook and buy five on the spot – one for herself and one for every member of the family who is unfortunate enough to have been breathing inorganic air all these years.

Being a person with strong feelings about receiving free stuff from others, I have never turned down any organic product my mother has sent my way. I loved the organic soap, although the organic toothpaste, with it’s ability to froth up to twenty times its own mass, took a bit of adjusting too. The organic chicken, I’ll admit, tastes infinitely better than your run-of-the-mill, dirty, man made chicken. And when I was at my parents house a few weekends ago and handed a stick of organic deodorant, I was naturally (ha!) excited to try it.

What’s the point of an organic deodorant, you ask? Great question. Apparently, most deodorants contain chemicals such as Aluminum, Zinc, Propylene Glycol, Phthalates, all of which may be harmful if absorbed into the skin over long periods of time. Indeed, there are warning labels on all deodorants to not use the product on open wounds and to immediately call poison control if it is ingested. One look at the active ingredient in my current deodorant (Old Spice Red Zone) and, sure enough, there it is: Aluminum Zirconium Trichlorohydrex, which, if my high school chemistry still serves me, stands for “Aluminum with Zinc and three Chloriney Hydrogen things.”

Three?! That does sound dangerous.

The organic deodorant, on the other hand, contains things like corn starch, candelilla wax, shea butter, and tea tree oil, all things you might find in your kitchen cupboard or your hemp medicine-woman fanny pack. I may not be the most holistic person, what with my predilection towards alcohol and pain medication, but I appreciate the logic that if something natural can do a job just as well as something chemically unnatural, why not go organic?

Unfortunately, what the organic deodorant label doesn’t tell you is that while corn starch, candelilla wax, shea butter, and tea tree oil may be great for arts and crafts, they have no ability whatsoever to keep you from smelling like a pile of garbage. When I got home from work yesterday, the first day I tried the organic deodorant, and took off my sweater I almost passed out. Flashing before my eyes was a scene of paramedics finding me in my bathroom with a gaping head wound caused by my head hitting the porcelain sink when I collapsed. They were all wearing surgical masks and trying to get to me, but were routinely turned back by the horrible odor.

I literally had to shower right then and there. As I scrubbed away with a coarse loofah and the most fragrant body wash I could find in The Girlfriend’s stash, I reflected upon how close I had come to becoming the first person I knew to die from their deodorant. And not because over the course of 50 years Aluminum Zirconium Trichlorohydrex seeped into my lymph nodes and crippled my body’s circulatory system, but because my own stench was too much to bear. I implore everyone reading this, especially the ones who I come into contact with on a regular basis, to continue using your harmful, slowly degenerative, chemically compounded deodorants; because trust me – when you’ve been where I was, where it almost ended so pungently . . . well poisoning myself has never felt so good.

46 Comments:

Any deodorant that doesn't have
Aluminum in it lets you smell. Trust me I have tried even the crystal rock deodorant.

By Blogger Tuesday Girl, at 1:19 PM  

Is that like the crystal meth deodorant?

By Blogger tall 1, at 1:37 PM  

You make me sound like I'M on crystal meth! Affection? crap.

By Blogger belligerent mother, at 1:58 PM  

I know for a fact that Mrs. M is on crystal meth. But don't worry, it's organic crystal meth.

By Blogger T.G., at 2:14 PM  

Stinky hippy.

By Anonymous Leah, at 2:17 PM  

great to have you back. stinky.

By Blogger Lozo, at 2:47 PM  

Yeah, organic deodorant definitely doesn't work. Not even a little bit.

By Blogger susan, at 3:16 PM  

"all things you might find in your kitchen cupboard or your hemp medicine-woman fanny pack"

Hahahaha.

If it only had patchouli in it, you'd be all set. Well, or at least then you'd smell like a hippie, just in a different way.

By Blogger mysterygirl!, at 4:07 PM  

Supposedly some women prefer to men to smell au natural.

(Personally I'd prefer them to smell like they work in a cologne factory - D&G for example)

By Blogger Kate, at 6:40 PM  

My mother- exact opposite- I was brought up the cheapest food that money could buy. They probably had as many chemicals as your average bag of kitty litter. (Later, looking at the back of some of those microwavable dinners, I shudder at their content.) Though I never had the problem of faulty deodorants, I am surprised that I haven't spontaneously combusted from all of those Roman Noodles and Hot Pocket combos.

My status currently reads: organic nut.

By Blogger Janet, at 7:44 PM  

aaah... now you know what Matthew McConaughey smells like - and he's the Sexiest Man Alive!

By Blogger lena, at 8:01 PM  

I'm assuming the corn starch was designed to absorb wetness, but the other stuff just sounds like you rubbed lotion under your arms.

But you've opened my eyes to something. Maybe that's why all the "organic" types I see out there smell like sweat. I used to think they didn't shower often, but maybe it's just the deodorant!

By Blogger Carolyn, at 9:57 PM  

I'm all about the organic food (Trader Joes and Whole foods whore), but organic products like deoderant I'm a little wary about. And thank you for proving my suspicions correct.

By Blogger Heather B., at 1:40 PM  

Organic has its place, like milk, meat, spices, ets. The taste is vastly superior. But peoepl who buy nothing but organic are alittle, well, eccentric. Ever lived in California?

By Blogger White Dade, at 2:39 PM  

that overly frothy toothpaste is THE worst. Tom of Maine clearly needs to revamp that recipe.

By Blogger kristine, at 9:17 PM  

check out the story of kathy gutowsky
and seth patinkin at

underoccupied.blogspot.com

if anyone else has nightmare stories about their neighbors in college, let us know!

By Blogger Independent Thinker, at 12:08 PM  

im gunna leave this short cuz my computers retarded and i just typed up like a page of writing and it deleted it. so my deodorant (gillette) has aluminum zirconium trichlorohydrex in it. its a high concentration. 20% about. when i googled it i got that it causes lung and reproductive damage. and aluminum is related to alzheimer's.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:02 AM  

Hi, I have no experience with the organic deodorant that you've written about, but I HIGHLY recommend trying the natural deodorant stones made of mineral salts and alum. I recently switched from regular antipersperant and its made a huge difference. I actually seem to sweat less and there has not been any smell at all. Give it a try, I think you'd be surprised. I don't know that the man-made chemicals in deodorants and anti-persperants are completely harmful, but along the lines of what you've said, if there's a natural alternative that does the same or better, Why Not?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:03 AM  

the "HIGHLY recommend" natural deodorant stones made of mineral salts and alum still can contain aluminum as Alum is a metallic salt that is a combination of an alkali metal, such as sodium, potassium, or ammonium and a trivalent metal, such as aluminum, iron, or chromium.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:44 PM  

which brand have you used? I've had the same terrible experience with organic deodorant!!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:10 PM  

what are these blogs:

markkruzan.blogspot.com
bungerlaw.blogspot.com
kevinrobling.blogspot.com
patriciamulvihill.blogspot.com
william-j-beggs.blogspot.com
bill-beggs.blogspot.com
jan-p-szatkowski.blogspot.com

these seem to be some sort of spam related to this topic?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:07 PM  

Dear Oprah,

I am writing to you about discrimination which has been expressed by the selective enforcement of city ordinances against me with respect to my rental business in Southern Indiana once city officials discovered that I am a Jewish person.

More about me: I was named to the "30 under 30" list by my alma mater and did my PhD work at Princeton Univ. under John Nash. I am a applied mathematician/ entrepreneur in my day job.

In the years since I completed my undergraduate work at IU in 1998, I proceeded to buy a small number of rental properties in Bloomington, Indiana, which I have successfully run as a side business for a number of years.

However, about 2-3 years ago, the normal flow of my side rental business ran into some serious roadblocks.

It started when two housing inspectors made a number of explicit anti-semitic statements to me and to a Jewish tenant at one of my rentals.

Soon thereafter, four (4) groups of my otherwise law-abiding and happy tenants were threatened with $10,000 + fine (assessed PER tenant) for alleged ordinance violations.

Long story short, I was soon stuck with numerous vacancies and left paying the mortgage payments on these properties which were subsequently burglarized and vandalized. At the same time, the Housing Department caused complaint inspections to take place at these properties, identifying dozens and dozens of "defects" in the properties not otherwise noted in previous move-in inspections and causing me to incur thousands of dollars of needless "improvements".

And then the Legal Department went to work on me, filing at least five (5) lawsuits against me for alleged ordinance violations, and at the same time, the Legal Department Chief's wife, over at Student Legal Services, encouraged my erstwhile tenants to sue me for recovery of their security deposits, in spite of their breaches. I was soon dealing with about ten lawsuits at once.

So in April 2007, I filed a lawsuit against the City of Bloomington for violating my right to equal protection of the law, and a number of other civil rights violations. For reasons unbeknownst to me, I have become of the despotism of city government in small town Indiana. My attorneys have recently discovered that my case is not unique. Another Jewish landlord also has a case pending in federal court against the City, regarding the improper withholding of a building permit based upon the impermissible consideration that the prospective buyer of the commercial property in question was a Jewish investor from New York.

My life has been turned upside down by the systematic abuse of ordinances and
judicial proceedings. I find it outrageous that such a negative spirit still thrives in modern America. I would love the opportunity to talk about my story on your show, as I think it is in the public interest.

Seth Patinkin

~~ NEVER STOP LEARNING ~~

jan-p-szatkowski.blogspot.com
markkruzan.blogspot.com
bungerlaw.blogspot.com
billbeggs.blogspot.com
lawbr.blogspot.com
martha-szatkowski.blogspot.com
martha-c-szatkowski.blogspot.com
bill-beggs.blogspot.com
kevinrobling.blogspot.com
patriciamulvihill.blogspot.com
cityofbloomington.blogspot.com
studentlegalservices.blogspot.com
stacee-evans.blogspot.com
marthaszatkowski.blogspot.com
bunger-law.blogspot.com
staceeevans.blogspot.com
margieschrader.blogspot.com
margie-schrader.blogspot.com
jan-szatkowski.blogspot.com
janszatkowski.blogspot.com

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:09 AM  

For those asking if the above blogs are spam..yes, they should be as they all contain false information by a one Seth patinkin who is trying to gain some sort of self-serving notoriety by claiming that there is some religious indifference towards him by residents of an Indiana town.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:37 PM  

Alum and Aluminum are two very different things with different chemical makeup. The compounds contained in many deodorants such as Aluminum Chlorhydrate or Aluminum Zirconium are highly soluble and readily absorbed into the body, which is later absorbed into the organs and marrow.

Natural potassium alum is unable to pass through the cell wall and therefore not absorbed.

To say Alum is the same or similar to Aluminum, Iron or Chromium is far from accurate and very misleading.

Although these deodorant stones likely don't fall into the organic category, they are a much safer and more natural alternative to deodorant, and they actually work.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:51 PM  

I would rather stay away from the aluminum and all the chemicals. Even those supposedly natural deodorants still contain chemicals (Tom's of Maine, Nature's Gate, etc. They all have chemicals and synthetic fragrances.) I make 100% Organic Deodorant and I guarantee it to work. If it doesn't, I will replace it with something that you're absolutely happy with. We shouldn't have to put chemicals on our body because we feel guilty for sweating.

By Anonymous Stephanie G., at 8:06 PM  

Good Job! :)

By Anonymous Carlo, at 5:19 AM  

Aluminum Zirconium Trichlorohydrex Gly is SICK. Use Arm & Hammer Essentials Natural Deodorant. Works great, no aluminum. AZT Gly basically just clogs your pores and prevents you from sweating. IT CAN MAKE YOUR UNDERARMS BREAK OUT. And probably give you Alzheimers.

By Blogger starship6, at 1:42 PM  

clogged pores and Alzheimers what more could a person ask for?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:52 PM  

Lol... I posted a very similar gripe on my own blog: http://lowtherrinserepeat.blogspot.com

I decided very quickly that I'd rather shave years off my life using Secret than go around smelling like an organic she-beast.

By Blogger Kate L., at 10:28 AM  

You know, funny thing is this...I too started to use organic deodorant and actually found one that worked well for me. Here in lies the problem.... It worked pretty great actually, until I started to drink coffee again. Then I started to smell like a moldy fruit. I am going to stop the coffee again and see what happens.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:38 PM  

You sir are an idiot

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:45 PM  

Great Aluminum-Free deodorant that I recently discovered smells great (much better than Arm & Hammer Natural) is "Natural Care Tom's of Maine" apricot scent (which smells great-- not to heady). I got it at Walmart and it last for me, a long-distance runner, about 8-10 hours. It isn't quite as effective as Secret Platinum, but very close. It also doesn't stain my clothes since it glides on smooth! Info about their company can be found at www.tomsofmain.com.

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By Blogger dghnfgj, at 2:02 AM  

Hi there! Your post made me laugh; I have had similar experiences with a range of organic deodorants.

Finally found one that worked after years of plants wilting in the presence of my armpits. Miessence (don't think pun is intended) is an Aussie company, and some chick used it while cartwheeling up Mt Everest and claimed her pits were quite delicious upon her descent

By Anonymous Deadlyjelly, at 2:41 AM  

I'm a dude. I'm a hairy, big, dark, sweaty dude. I bike at least 200 miles a week, play squash and basketball once a week, and go skiing 2 days a week in winter. And I have a lot of sweaty sex.

The smell of my hockey bag almost killed my girlfriend once.

I dont like aluminum (I used to work in a machine shop and breathe that stuff in fine powder - I read up about it and it's freaking nasty)

So I use Crystal, which is basically salt, and it works awesome. The liquid version is slightly more effective than the stick version. It does end up being more expensive, but pretty comparable to a regular deodorant. The stick is a lot cheaper than either though. If you use the stick, just use a lot, and put it on when you get out of the shower and are slightly moist.

Tom of Maine never worked for me (and neither does their toothpaste).

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By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:52 AM  

I've just started using ALUM, simply rub it in my underarms after a shower and it seems to be working. I do sweat but not stink...yet to find out why... Maybe it's killing the stuff responsible for foul odor.

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By Blogger Julian, at 10:48 AM  

I completely LOVE face naturals deodorants. I have looked for years trying to find a truly all natural, organic skin care line that's has no chemicals in them and all their deodorants are 100% all natural, organic and chemical free with no aluminum. They are AMAZING and I fell in LOVE on my first order. My friends and family that has tried their products rave about them. face naturals customer service is the best I've ever experience from any company and you get a real feel of their passion when you order and try their products. face naturals is it for me! http://www.facenaturals.com

By Blogger jenny, at 2:13 PM  

What a great post! Thanks for the laugh this morning. I thought I'd share my recipe for organic deodorant that is surprisingly BETTER than my aluminum stick. I know, I know... "yeah right". Try it and you'll be soooo surprised. I think it has something to do with the properties of the coconut. I hope you give organic deodorant another try. I've been using mine for months and I'll never go back to reg deod.

Here's the link to my recipe...

Highly Effective Natural Deodorant

Enjoy!

Sarah
http://sugarbananas.blogspot.com

By Blogger Sarah @ Sugar Bananas!, at 11:36 AM  

First of all the crystals test for aluminum and that's right from the manufacture in India. The notion that crystals do not absorb into the skin is against the laws of physics. if you want to clean up the pits try the Detox Cleansing Deodorant from the Herbalix Company for night time use before using a natural deodorant. If you treat your body as a landfill don't expect any deo to work, an antiperspirant is only killing the flies on the poop in the underarms

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:51 PM  

I guarantee you if you try Kiddie Fresh deodorant you will not have this problem. It is an organice, all-natural deodorant that was made for children but more adults are buying more than anything. Look at the feedback and product on www.kiddiefresh.com.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:06 PM  

Organic may be one of those words that seems to get thrown around more and more often nowadays. But when you take a look at the ingredients and get to know the composition of these products, it makes more sense and becomes more comfortable for consumption.

By Anonymous Naturally Fresh Deodorant, at 1:19 PM  

Use Gillette Clinical Fresh and you people won't stink anymore.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:28 AM  

useful stuff. That's look pretty cool , keep it up bro ! Thanks for this nice post.

By Anonymous MARGARET MITCHELL HOUSE, at 8:55 PM  

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