I hate my neighbor. Our apartments share a wall and through this wall I hear him play bad music, scream to his friends on the phone things like, “Dude, no waaaay! She wasn’t that fat!” and generally act like a jackass. I will tell anyone who listens that he is my nemesis and that the real reason I watch so much “CSI” is to learn how to get away with murdering him someday.
Last night at around 11:30 I was watching the Women’s Short Program Figure Skating, solely, of course, because I made this dedication to write about the Olympics on my blog. I tuned in late, just in time to see the final few skaters take their best shot at the dominant, dirty-named Russian Slutskaya who was in first place with a hefty score of 66.70. They all failed miserably, setting the stage for American Sasha Cohen who was skating last.
Cohen went out there with her coquettish eyes and simply nailed her program. Stuck every jump and dazzled
me the crowd with her flexibility grace and dexterity. Then, as the music stopped and Cohen struck her final pose, I heard a resounding clap come from my neighbor’s apartment followed by a spirited “Yes!”
I immediately thought two things:
1. That even though I hate my neighbor with a burning passion, this is what the Olympics are all about – bringing people together. Setting differences aside, having a truce from war, forging a common bond of humanity and sharing the illogical satisfaction of beating the Russians as though it were still the early 80's; and
2. My neighbor isn’t just an asshole, he’s an asshole who watches figure skating for fun. I mean, at least I was doing it for my blog.