The Daily Dump

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Monday, February 27

An Olympic Wrap-Up, By The Numbers


2: Recommended dosage of acid to take before watching the clown-themed closing ceremonies at Torino.

4: Number of times while watching figure skating that The Girlfriend threatened to secretly record me saying things like “Oh no, she only doubled it” or “That step sequence was bland” and play them back for my friends.

$5 million: Amount Bode Miller earned last year, $1 million for every event he lost at Torino.

$130,000: Amount of money, in personal loans, taken by luger Anne Abernathy to finance her 2005 training and racing schedule in order to qualify for the Olympics. Abernathy, who is 52 years old, is the only representative of the U.S. Virgin Islands and was prohibited by the Olympic Committee from competing in the games due to the dangerous women’s course. After a committee hearing, she won the right to at least have her name listed on the official racing schedule as “DNS” – did not start. "I just wanted to be recognized as having worked hard to get here.”

2: Number of times, officially, that “YMCA” was performed at the Olympics – once during the opening ceremonies and once during the closing ceremonies.

2: Number of times I said out loud to the TV, “What the fuck?” upon hearing “YMCA” being played at the Olympics.

8: Finishing place in the standings for Danish Women’s Curling team, out of 9. The women curlers were the only representatives sent by Denmark to the games following the Mohammed cartoon uproar. No word on whether the strong sales of Danish flags continued into the Olympic Village..

9: Amount of restraint, on a scale of 1 – 10, it took Avril Levine to not give the crowd the finger during her performance at the closing ceremony.

50: Amount of time, in seconds, I spent laughing after The Girlfriend told me she could extend her leg above her head like the figure skaters do, and during her demonstration fell backwards onto the floor through her bedroom doorway.

8000: Bottles of maple syrup being sent to Bjoemar Haakensmoen by a Canadian manufacturer. Haakensmoen, the head of the Norwegian cross-country team, was watching the two-woman cross-country sprint from the side of the race course when Canadian Sara Renner broke one of her ski poles. Haakensmoen had a pole with him and immediately handed it to Renner. Renner and teammate Becky Scott ended up winning the silver medal while the Norwegians wound up fourth.

5, 3: Number of twists and somersaults, respectively, packed into American Jeret "Speedy" Peterson’s patented move “the Hurricane.” Peterson landed the jump in the Men’s Aerials event, a first in Olympic competition for a jump of its caliber. Peterson finished 7th due to a mediocre first jump and a shaky landing on the Hurricane.

$314,770: Amount paid by Italy to Italian speed skater Enrico Fabris for his two gold medals ($157,385 a piece).

$0: Amount paid to Canadian speed skater Cindy Klassen for her five medals (1 gold, 2 silver, 2 bronze). Canada is one of the only countries to not offer monetary rewards to their athletes.

103-0-2: Record of U.S. Women’s Hockey team against every team not named Canada in international competition before losing to Sweden in the semifinals at Torino.

88: Finish of Ireland’s Rory Morrish in the 15k Cross Country Skiing event. Finishing below him were Armenia, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Iran, Kenya, Brazil, Portugal, Nepal, Costa Rica, and Thailand. He was edged out by Ethiopia and Mongolia though.

86.5: Top speed reached on the Men’s Single Luge event.

87: Speed I was clocked at on the Long Island Expressway when I got my first speeding ticket.

27: Assumed age of American moguls skier Toby Dawson. Dawson was abandoned on the steps of a police station in Seoul before being adopted by ski instructors Mike and Deborah Dawson from Colorado. His current birthday, November 30, 1978, was given to him when he was brought to an orphanage, based on how he looked compared to other children.

6: Number of comments and emails received by readers begging me to not write about the Olympics for an entire week.

13: Approximate number of hours spent, by me, watching Olympic coverage so I could write about it on my blog.

1.5: Number of hours I wish I had back, accounting mostly for Ice Dancing. Other than that, I really enjoyed the Olympics, for the first time in a long time. The drive for Beijing 2008 is officially on.

18 Comments:

I, for one, have greatly enjoyed your Olympic coverage. Good work!

By Blogger Jamy, at 12:03 PM  

I second Jamy's comment.
Also, as far as ice dancing, you should consider yourself lucky cuz it's usually FAR FAR more boring - at least this year you got the crazy Fusar-Poli death stare after the long program!

By Blogger lena, at 12:31 PM  

I know - that 30-second stare of pure evil was a classic Olympic moment. It was like a mother not wanting to make a scene in a restaurant when her child refuses to eat.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 12:44 PM  

9: Amount of restraint, on a scale of 1 – 10, it took Avril Levine to not give the crowd the finger during her performance at the closing ceremony.

HAHAHA... oh those Canadians are such rebels.

By Blogger Julie_Gong, at 12:59 PM  

Seriously. You've done fantastic coverage of this olympic year.

By Blogger Momentary Academic, at 1:25 PM  

That thing about the 52 year old luger may be the saddest thing I've ever heard. Well, maybe not the saddest thing. But it's up there.

By Blogger Lizzie, at 3:10 PM  

as one of the sad six, i really can't wait till tomorrow. unless of course, you are planning your preview and predictions for Vancouver.

By Blogger Lozo, at 3:13 PM  

YMCA? Seriously?

By Blogger Fuckkit, at 5:13 PM  

Agree with the Ice Dancing, I mean if ever there was a year to watch...high-school drama, falls, spills? This was it. Plus that Tanith chick is hot. And curling (or Men's Skating even ) had to be worse than Ice Dancing, c'mon!

And I love that your GF threatened to tape you, classic.

By Blogger Marci (aka Baby Banana), at 5:36 PM  

I sympathise with TGF. I once attempted a Dorothy Hamill Camel spin and failed painfully... I was 5. I'm not sure I've recovered from the shame.

By Blogger Kate, at 6:34 PM  

ok, so, seriously. no more olympics. unless you want to post more pictures of mr. things aren't Bode-ing well for you Miller flipping of the camera with a generic Hooters girl. Because those are better than getting to watch a barium enema on a 45 year old man in the throes of obesity. WHY WON'T SOMEONE JUST PUNCH THAT LITTLE WANKER IN THE FACE.

By Blogger birdie, at 7:45 PM  

I must say, had it not been for the DD, I probably woauld have watched about as much of this year's Olympics as I did of "Emily's Reasons Why Not."

That being said, you oredered the Triplecast, didn' you? Admit it. I did it too.

By Blogger White Dade, at 7:58 PM  

Actually, dude, it's been a public service. I was able to maintain a flirt at a bar the other night thanks to your reporting on the ice-dancing competition. Many thanks!

By Blogger RetroDragon, at 8:41 PM  

I'm glad you covered the Olympics - it had me captivated all week. Thanks for even keeping up with ice dancing for your readers.

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