The Daily Dump

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Friday, February 24

The U.S. Is My Mo Guishla

After Sasha Cohen’s gritty performance to hang onto silver last night, the Men’s Curling victory against Britain for bronze and Julia “The Tiara” Mancuso shocking the field to take gold in the Women’s Giant Slalom, the U.S., with 21 total medals, is only 3 medals shy of Germany at the top of the leader board.

With 16 events left the field is still wide open, but the prospects don’t look good for the U.S. Only a handful of events favor the U.S. such as the Men’s 10,000m Speed skating, the Men’s 500m Speed skating (APOLLO!) and the Four Man Bobsled, as opposed to the Two Man Bobsled or the Luge, featuring only a single man, begging the question “How come Gillette isn’t sponsoring the men’s bobsled teams?” I think even I come up with a clever campaign for “Four men are better than two!” At the end the Americans could stuff a fifth person in and have that team win the gold, followed by a Russian sledder smirking and saying, “I GUESS DEY IS RIGHT – DE FIVE ARE BETTER DAN DE TWO!”

Anyway, the point is practically every other event (mostly cross-country skiing and biathlon) favor countries like Germany, Russia and Canada. And even in the American favored events, sneaky Germans and Russians are lingering in medal contention as well. Bottom line is it doesn’t look good for us, on a whole, to be the top medal getter in these Winter Olympic Games.

I feel like Clint Eastwood in Million Dollar Baby right now. I never thought I would get so attached to my country during the course of these games. But now as they’re coming down the stretch, showing some moxie and making me proud, they’re about have their neck broken and remain paralyzed forever. Well, at least until Vancouver in 2008. But unlike Eastwood, I won’t cry. I promise I won’t cry . . .


You can kinda root for the US in the Winter games sine we are more of underdogs. But it's too mad we don't have the big red villian to root against anymore. I mean, did you see that profile on Slutskaya last night? Since when does US media do sympathetic pieces on the Russians?

By Blogger White Dade, at 1:08 PM  

I know, I thought the same thing. I was waiting for the drum-pounding army music to start followed by a barrage of clips of her winning competitions and blowing the competition away while her coaches glared at the camera on the sideline. Instead I get her sitting in a bedroom looking at pictures of sick relatives.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 1:13 PM  

Dude, get your Olympic facts right...

2008 is the summer games in Bejiing.

2010 is the winter games in Vancouver.

The Olympic Fact Checker

By Blogger tall 1, at 1:45 PM  

Did you just give away the ending to Million Dollar Baby which I haven't seen yet? Damn it, Dan.

By Blogger Libby Mae Brown, at 7:07 PM  

Watch out for next week - I'm planning on revealing the ending to Braveheart!

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 11:08 AM  

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