The Daily Dump

A place where everyone (me) is welcomed to express their opinions openly and honestly. I encourage free thinking, free wheeling, off-the-cuff banter and monetary donations.

Friday, March 31

Some More Random Thoughts On Friday


I should make a clarification concerning yesterday’s post about The Girlfriend’s surgery – the procedure she had done (PRK) isn’t the usual procedure (LASIK). The majority of people who get laser eye surgery, like me for example, have LASIK, which is far less traumatic to the eye and causes about 90% less pain and discomfort than does PRK. So if anyone is thinking of getting laser eye surgery, if you qualify for LASIK totally go for it. It’s still gross as hell, but well worth it – best decision I ever made, even taking into account the time I got that rash checked out early before it got any worse. I’m sure it could have waited another week without spreading too much.

Bad news for Matt Leblanc, who can’t seem to make a marriage or a punch line work anymore. But the weirdest part of the story was this line:

“LeBlanc, 38, and the former Melissa McKnight, in her late 30s or early 40s, wed in May 2003 in Hawaii.”

You mean to tell me no one knows how old Melissa McKnight is? It’s not like she was shipped here from an African tribe with no birth records. Apparently what passes for fact checking in the Yahoo! newsroom is passing around a picture and asking, “How old does this woman look to you?”

I couldn’t be happier that we turn the clocks ahead tomorrow. It’s my second favorite day of the year, right behind my birthday and Christmas which are tied for first. They may as well rename this day “Everyone Get Happy” day because if that extra hour of sunlight doesn’t liven you up you’re probably the kind of person who doesn’t tear up when they move the bus on “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.” And I’m not OK with that.

In my efforts to include more music talk here, I came across this collection of Ray LaMontagne bootlegs that is just fantastic. Listen to “She’s Your Girl,” then come back here and thank me. I swear I would make love to this guy’s voice if it were a woman. Even if it was a guy I would probably go to third base.

It is absolutely unsurprising that so many of my readers enjoy the benefits of prescription painkillers. It’s just further proof that I love you all, even Janet who made it a point to comment that she had never taken any. It’s OK Janet, you’re one impacted wisdom tooth away. And we’ll all be here when that time comes. Especially The Girlfriend, who can sniff out Percocet like a DEA dog.

I was at a theater party last night for the show Well, which I’ve been pimping in the sidebar for weeks because my good friend John works for the company that produced the show. Last night was opening night and the reviews were positively stellar, meaning that the after-party was over-the-top with excited theater types (boring), executives (boring) and Joan Allen (ding ding ding!) I only caught a drunken glimpse of her from afar (read: stalked her), but from what I can tell she is surely in the running for “most attractive actress aged 50 or over” (she actually turns 50 in August). Although I don’t see her overtaking Rene Russo anytime soon; unless, of course, Rene stops with the surgeries. Then all bets are off.

24 Comments:

Ah... bullets to the rescue.

First and foremost, thank you for reminding me that the clocks are changing hands tomorrow. I don't know how I could prossibly forget that.

And Ray! I am currently downloading the entirety of his collection.

When I do eventually take a painkiller- wisedom teeth, LASIK, whatever, I will let everyone know. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy to know that you care.

By Blogger Janet, at 1:43 PM  

The best part will be you won't need us to make you feel warm and fuzzy when you get the Vicodin.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 1:46 PM  

I am impressed that you are confident enough in your manhood to admit that you would make love to a mans voice as a woman and give him a little yanky on the wanky as a man.

By Blogger Jenni, at 1:51 PM  

It's the confidence that comes with having a group of friends who had a discussion the other night posing this question: "Would you have anal sex with a man to prevent [our friend] Pete (who is in the Army reserves) from having to go to Iraq?"

We discussed this for about half and hour and his brother said he would while the rest of us pretty much drew the line at having a man ejaculate in our hand. Gladly, this is not the Army's policy concerning deployment.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 1:57 PM  

I hate Daylight Savings. (But I also cry at the end of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition...so I'm just a freak o' nature, I think.) And it's happening on Sunday, really...not tomorrow. Just in case I can save anyone from heading to work early, or an appointment early, or whatever. I did it one year on a Sunday...went to church too early. And there's nothing that sucks more than getting to the church too early for church, dammit.

Or...wait. If we srping forward, then would people be running late for things if they moved their clocks up an hour on the day before we're actually supposed to? Shit...I can't bend my brain around it today - too hungover. But this is one of the reasons why I hate Daylight Savings. It sucks.

By Blogger Faith, at 2:59 PM  

You're going to have to do better than that, Faith. What could possibly suck about an extra hour of sunlight at the end of the day? You mean to tell me you ENJOY getting home from work in the pitch black darkness of night at 6:30? I can't accept that. Maybe if your dog died on Daylight Savings Day and the anniversary brings back all the pain and heartache, that would be a good reason to not like it. But outside of that, I can't come up with a valid reason.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 3:13 PM  

I am excited that I am not the only one that LOVES and gets excited for Daylight Savings. Everyone bitches aboutlosing that hour of sleep.... get over it.

Summer is coming, the days are longer and that means sitting out on the deck enjoying a few post-work beers and watching the sun go down.

By Blogger Erin Mc, at 3:25 PM  

Don't take this the wrong way, Erin, but I never would have pictured you having a deck. It's so grown up. And I'm jealous.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 3:28 PM  

Normally Daylight savings is cool with me, but this year F*(^!
It means I have an hour less to party on Saturday night! I only get out once in every other month. Last time woke up at 6 am on my girlfriends couch. Hubby was understanding. Don't think he would this time. So I geuss home early on Saturday.
HUNNY
Everyone Have a Great Weekend!

By Blogger Hunny, at 3:40 PM  

Just a quick question...why the random picture of Joan Allen? I didn't see her mentioned anywhere in your post. She's a hot older lady and all, but kind of random to just throw up a picture of her unless I missed something in your post.

By Anonymous Johnson, at 3:42 PM  

Hunny - Think of it as a fair trade off for getting an extra hour of drinking six months ago when we turned back the clocks on a Saturday night. And in protest you can always stay out until 5AM after the bars have closed stumbling around screaming, "One more hour! I get one more hour!"

Johnson - I can understand why you would stop reading the last bullet point since it starts out with the words "I was at a theater party . . ." but going forward know this: I will never post a picture of an attractive woman without some sort of sexual reference to her. It's just not in my nature. So be diligent and find that reference!

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 3:55 PM  

Question is, can this middle age Mom make it till 5 am? Willing to try though, I need to party this weekend.
Hunny

By Blogger Hunny, at 4:01 PM  

Ah ok. Gotcha. I'd also put Geena Davis, Sigourney Weaver, Kim Basinger and Jane Seymour in the hottest actress over 50 running.

By Anonymous Johnson, at 5:45 PM  

I just found out this afternoon about daylight savings time. I am so excited... daylight in the evening returns! It really doesn't get much better than that... (except of course less the two very important holidays you mentioned).

I shall be off now to check out Ray LaMontagne... he is so amazing.


One question: would the guy just be ejaculating into your hand, or would you be required to "aid" in the process?
Inquiring minds...

By Blogger ocg, at 6:24 PM  

Well, seeing as how I get up super late on weekends as it is, daylight savings just makes it worse! But, after the first day, the benefits do outweight the "shit!, it's 2pm!" realization.
Hey - I looked up Joan Allen on imdb.com - she's ganna be in the 4th enstallment of the Bourne series - The Bourne Ultimatum.

By Blogger lena, at 7:01 PM  

I agree with the LeBlanc story. If you're not willing to take the time to look up the woman's age, just don't mention the age or don't report the story at all. I think I could live w/out knowing which friend is getting married and how old his/her fiance is. What I WOULD like to know is if she pretends to like Dunston Checks In, you know, the baseball-playing monkey movie?

By Blogger Dr. Kenneth Noisewater, at 10:27 PM  

Oh cool, I saw Well a couple weeks ago at the Longacre. Totally agree with all the raves, it is a great play!

By Blogger shirley, at 10:29 AM  

I have never taken prescription painkillers either.

Wait...does Valium count? No! That's a muscle relaxant. Totally different.

By Blogger Brookelina, at 10:54 AM  

Haha that's funny. Does it still seem grown up that it is my parents' deck and I am just a loafer who boozes on it?

I almost didn't come clean, because I like the thought of sounding grown up for once.

By Blogger Erin Mc, at 12:58 PM  

I couldn't disagree with you more on the time change. Sure, I love more sunlight, but wouldn't we get than as we get closer to summer anyway? What I hate about this time change is the loss of an hour of sleep. With two small kids, I'm already sleep deprived. I don't need another hour taken away from me.

Sorry, I'm a bit grouchy from lack of sleep! :)

By Blogger Carolyn, at 5:19 PM  

I totally agree, an extra hour of sunshine is worth losing an hour of sleep (but who doesn't just sleep in the extra hour anyway?) I LOVE the sun staying out later (especially when it's 9:30 in the summer and the sun is just starting to think about setting!)

Oh, and I get teary during most of EHM, so I guess I just prove the theory, huh?

No painkillers here, even when I had my wisdome teeth taken out (and not until AFTER my son was born, either, and let me tell you, even then they did.not.work.)

What's up with celebrities calling it quits after 2-3 years anyways? That's just when it stops being a honeymoon and starts being a marriage!! Oh wait, I think I just answered my own question.

By Blogger Amy, at 9:59 AM  

Thanks a million for the Ray LaMontagne link...and I totally agree, I would make love to this man just for his voice!

Pre-Daylight Savings thought: MONDAY IS GONNA SUCK.

Post-Daylight Savings thought: MONDAY SUCKS.

By Blogger Sexy Lexi, at 1:25 PM  

I love the Ray LaMontagne songs. Thanks for the link.

By Blogger sadielady, at 10:54 PM  

Tubby old matt leblanc gets a hottie von hottenheimer for a new spouse.. Makes one cry.

By Blogger Muad'Dib, at 9:41 AM  

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