The Daily Dump

A place where everyone (me) is welcomed to express their opinions openly and honestly. I encourage free thinking, free wheeling, off-the-cuff banter and monetary donations.

Friday, April 21

Chinese Oppression, Doorman Revolt and Kincaid Retribution. (Also, a special little note!)


New York doormen avert strike

All I can say is, thank God. Because I was planning on going to a friend’s apartment tonight and if the doorman wasn’t there how would I get in?

Although part of me was hoping the strike would take place. The only thing more ludicrous than watching doormen picket outside . . . well wherever a doorman would picket, is the scene I have in my mind of elderly people crowded outside Park Avenue apartment buildings pawing at the door trying to figure out how to get it open, while vagrants and prostitutes, using their street smarts to open the doors, lounge comfortably in the unprotected lobbies.

Falun Gong protester who heckled Hu to be charged with disorderly conduct

This story really hit close to home. Not because I’m a member of the Falun Gong, or I know anyone who is, or because I particularly sympathize with the plight of the Falun Gong, but because with the resurgence of warm weather in Manhattan also comes the return of the Falun Gong street protests.

I’m not good with adjectives, so I can’t property describe the unbelievably absurd scenes these protests create, but basically there about eight to ten Asian people, half of whom are handing out flyers describing the torture and abuse the Falun Gong have been victims of at the hands of the oppressive Chinese government, while the other half ACTS OUT THE TORTURE AND ABUSE. I’m talking elaborate displays of people chained together and huddled on the ground with dirty faces and torn rags for clothes. I promise I will include pictures in the future, although I may need to buy a high powered telephoto lens because as dedicated as I am to entertaining you, the thought of standing five feet from someone tethered to the inside of a small cage covered in fake blood and snapping away just seems a little . . . tacky?

Actually, if anyone could get me a press pass and an Asian mask (like this) that would be a great help.

At first I didn’t think it was legitimate when someone claiming to be J.P. Kincaid commented on my post about the Flesch-Kincaid Index. The comment was polite, saying that the scale was never meant to be taken as seriously as it has been, even going so far as to play along with the joke that a painting by Picasso actually depicted the likeness of Kincaid. Pretty amazing considering if someone knocked one of my blog posts, which took probably 99% less time and effort than it did to come up with the world famous textual rating index, I would publicly skewer them and then make every effort to show up at their front door with a flame thrower.

But then comes a second comment, this time by John F. Kincaid, MD – none other than the son of J.P. Kincaid – saying, in effect, blow me. This reaction seems to make a little more sense, seeing as how if someone said an ill word concerning my father I would eat them.

But I can’t help being a little curious as to how this all came to pass. My best guess is that J.P. Kincaid Googled himself and saw, to his horror, that the third entry on the list was entitled “The Daily Dump.” Years and years of hard work, and this is what it comes down to? The Daily Dump? Then, over the holiday weekend with the families gathered for dinner, Kincaid mentions to his son the unfortunate circumstance he finds himself in, leading the son to comment as well – my point being this: I’ve written about Sarah Silverman, Pania Rose, Katie Holmes, etc. But I only get responses from the Kincaid family? What am I doing wrong? Actually, even as I write it I realize how stupid the questions is. I mean, there’s mention of my girlfriend all over this blog. And from what I understand, professional women are very intimidated by a man in love.

I’ve been meaning to say this for a while, but anyone who wants to be linked here just send me an email and let me know. I’m going to reformat some of the sidebar stuff and I figure a really long blogroll is exactly what a man needs to feel like a man. Also, any suggestions people might have on good blogs would be much appreciated. It seems everyone (myself included) has been in a bit of a blogging lull lately and I could use a few more good places to steal material from. Thanks.

Lastly, it pains me to say that I won’t be able to go to TequilaCon on Saturday. Back when I said I could attend I had forgotten that I was going to Boston this weekend to celebrate The Girlfriend’s sister’s birthday, even though only moments prior to replying to Brando’s email saying I would be there I had booked the hotel and the rental car and had an extensive conversation with The Girlfriend about what we should buy for a present. Such is the life of Alzheimer patients, children who live near electromagnetic power lines, and me, whose only excuse for such profound short-term memory loss is that genius can’t be slowed down by the details of other peoples’ lives.

To everyone who is going, have a blast – and if you’re feeling particularly distraught over my absence, you can play The Daily Dump drinking game, where everyone does a shot every time someone goes to the bathroom. With 60 plus people there, you should be over me in no time. Nothing alleviates heartache like having your stomach pumped. Nothing . . .

21 Comments:

John F. Kincaid spelled "grammar" wrong in his comment. Does that call for a rebuttal?

By Blogger verbald, at 2:35 PM  

Why do I feel like your open call to put people on your blogroll was really just an invite for all the crazies to come out?

You could be like TAN- apparently not having a blogroll is cool.

By Blogger Betty, at 2:49 PM  

I'm the guy who thought Mexico was in South America. So no, I think I'll let the details slide.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 2:51 PM  

I wanna be on the blogroll :)

By Blogger mance01, at 2:55 PM  

Betty, I totally welcome the crazies. I mean, I'm probably not going to add you if your blog is called "I Hate Jews," but for the most part I find every blog has some entertainment value.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 3:18 PM  

I hear some of the male bloggers get love letters and naked pics from adoring fans. I have yet to see evidence of these apparently "top secret" documents.

But I am sure any fan mail will keep you entertained for hours.

By Blogger Betty, at 3:53 PM  

Betty makes a fantastic point there.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 3:57 PM  

I think Dr. Kincaid and son would be further insulted to be the third item of interest in today's post, beneath a proposed (but aborted) doorman strike and the return of the protesters (the ones in DC do yoga-- much more family-friendly than bloody cage-sitting).

By Blogger mysterygirl!, at 5:16 PM  

I'm really not even sure yet which portion of this post I find most humerous.

Is it sick and twisted that I'm jealous that your blog is now drawing semi-celebrity attention? I think it somehow legitimizes you.

I challenge you to find at least one little-known, but historically significant person each week to blog about -- you can keep a running tab of how many of them comment. Good clean fun. :)

By Blogger undercover celebrity, at 5:23 PM  

That actually sounds like a really good idea, except when it reaches the point where no other quasi-celebrities are commenting and I start sending them emails that say, "If you love your wife and kids, you'll comment on my blog." Because I'm not 100% positive, but I think that's still considered "a threat."

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 5:39 PM  

Blogroll me :-)

By Blogger Kaschief, at 1:13 AM  

The doorman's strike at the top of your post simply captivated me. I can just see a bunch of men in vests, holding signs that say "Give us dough or this door is closed!" Should an old lady with groceries hobble past and timidly ask for help, would they?

But about, uh, everything else, I'm sure everyone at TequilaCon will be devestated.

By Blogger Janet, at 1:49 AM  

As a fellow victim of quasi-celebrity family members leaving not-nice comments, I can tell you that quite often, when confronted, they are not quite so hositle. Perhaps you should ask for young Kincaid's email and make this a running theme.

And Betty, I'll forward those naked pictures along to you this week.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:52 PM  

Hu was here (Seattle) last week minus the protestors. However, there are so many disturbing protests in this otherwise bucolic city that another assortment of human anger balls wouldn't be noticed. Congratulations on being recognized/vilified by someone impressive enough to create an "index."

By Blogger Leezer, at 6:32 PM  

i would normally agree with you about the taking pictures part. but DAMN. i'm going to go ahead and say if someone wants to play the tacky game, let's talk about the absolute freaks who dress up as torture victims. is this an effort to make us feel uncomfortable? because i just feel kind of giddy.

By Blogger birdie, at 11:37 PM  

Gah! I'm so jealous that you got a comment from Kincaid and his son when I'm the one with actual experience using his index. A pox on you.

By the way, you can blogroll me, but my posts are extremely boring, inane, and entirely devoid of content worth stealing. Enjoy.

By Blogger kiki, at 11:42 PM  

It's not Alzheimers you suffer from, it's "In a relationship Syndrome." This syndrome affects your ears ability to hear and retain every single word except sex and blow job.

It's true. My husband's had it for years, and it just gets worse when you're married.

By Blogger Jenni, at 10:40 AM  

Hi,

Since there aren't a lot of suggestions here yet... check out loggedhours.blogspot.com and hatednewguy.blogspot.com for your spiffy new blogroll.

And no, I don't write either of them! :)

By Anonymous jfm, at 12:36 PM  

Feel free to blogroll me if you like, I'd consider it an honor. Linking to someone on your website is the highest compliment that you can give someone...except for cash.

By Blogger HomeImprovementNinja, at 5:02 PM  

Are the falunn gong protests anything like that SNL skit where Chris Farley goes on the Japanese game show hosted by Mike Myers?

By Blogger Bone, at 7:42 PM  

Yes, I spelled "grammar" wrong. I've never been much good at "speling".

By Anonymous John F. Kincaid, at 6:04 PM  

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