The Daily Dump

A place where everyone (me) is welcomed to express their opinions openly and honestly. I encourage free thinking, free wheeling, off-the-cuff banter and monetary donations.

Friday, April 28

Highbrow (For The Lowbrow In All Of Us)

I call it Self Portrait #10

Back in November I wrote a post about my friend James and how he’s good at painting and how, every so often, his school has these things called “OPEN STUDIOS” where, coincidentally, all the students open up their studios and the public is welcomed in to make pretend they know what’s good and what’s not. Well it’s that time of year again.

So if you have nothing better to do tonight, or if you have something that you think is better, but isn’t really better, but just different, like my mom used to say, then come on over to:

Hunter College Open Studios
450 West 41st (between 9th and 10th Aves.)
Studio 312a on the third floor
6PM – 11PM

I call it Blind Date! (Or Thanks For The Herpes)

Even if art isn’t your thing, there will be free drinks galore. And if free drinks isn’t your thing either, well then you probably stumbled across this blog by accident. And while I can’t promise that there will be naked women like last time, I can promise that given enough wine there is at least a 75% chance of there being a naked man – whether it will be me or some unsuspecting parent who I pants is a question whose answer time can only tell.

I will also be doing stand-up comedy. Sample joke:

“What’s the deal with modern art? Look at this thing, it looks like someone just shat on the canvas! Oh, that is shit on a canvas? Well it’s quite lovely then.”

Email me for details!

I call it Kyle MacLachlan, Erect


If I planned to be in NY tonight, I'd definetely go. I'll be in Seattle with the hemp people (they want us to eat hemp, smoke hemp, and probably put hemp in our asses). I'm glad you clarified that it is you in the "self portrait," I thought it was David Arquette.

By Blogger Leezer, at 11:40 AM  

Yikes. The nude does look appaulingly like Kyle MacLachlan (I don't know about the nude part).

By Blogger Momentary Academic, at 12:29 PM  

There is so much visually wrong with this post I don't know where to being, but I'll start (and finish) with the creepy wax man of whom I will now have nightmares about for at least a week or so.

Thanks for that.

By Blogger Jenni, at 12:32 PM  

By "thanks for that" do you mean "thanks for exposing me to the inspiring and truly remarkable world of modern art?" Because that's how I read it.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 12:36 PM  

No, more like "Thanks for inspiring me to check my closet and under my bed every night before I go to sleep for fear of that scarry man hiding somewhere waiting to molest me with his wax hoo-ha."

But you were close.

By Blogger Jenni, at 1:36 PM  

I went to one of these open studios at NYU once, and they ran out of booze! My friends and I had to go down the street to the liquor store and then come back. I poured a miniature vodka bottle, a miniature rum bottle, AND a miniature whiskey bottle into my 20-oz Pepsi, and I think then I maybe got trapped inside a wall somwhere.

By Blogger threetoedsloth, at 1:54 PM  

I love Art. Not art, but Art.

By Blogger Neil, at 1:56 PM  

Sorry, after seeing this post I'll be too busy protesting funding for the arts to make it out.

Make the wax man go away...

By Blogger mysterygirl!, at 2:55 PM  

OK, I get it. Now I know who NOT to invite to my upcoming monthly fine arts roundtable discussion groups: jenni, mysterygirl, and my boss - who happened past my computer while it was up on the screen and, while not voicing disapproval, made a noise that can pretty definitely be interpreted as disinterest.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 3:09 PM  

Ironically enough, my coworker and I were just talking yesterday about penises being shown on otherwise work-appropriate blogs. It is a practice I would discourage. But hey. In the name of art and free booze... besides, it gives women the chance to mock the way men look naked...

By Blogger Rebecca, at 4:08 PM  

Wait . . . why would you mock the way men look naked? Is there something funny about it?

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 4:23 PM  

Fab. Too bad I'm in Ohio. I must get my stuff in a gallery sometime.

By Blogger ❉ pixie ❉, at 10:36 AM  

I would've gone if they were displaying that Britney Spears giving birth on a bear skin rug sculpture. This all looks like non-family friendly artwork. Humph!

By Blogger shirley, at 10:58 AM  

Jesus Christ! That guy is so disturbing. There is something wrong about a man with such a proud look on his face with such a bad body.

By Blogger Dr. Kenneth Noisewater, at 4:18 AM  

I have a starving artist chum as well, and though my home town doesn't have the caliber neccessary to get away with an art show involving naked women walking around, I have had to sit there confused, as to whether the artist in question accidentally spilled a crapload of paint and than angrily threw his easel to the floor only to calm down and realize that in his anger, he created Art, or if the whole thing was done purposely. At which, I can only conclude, that if the later is the case, Art is a rip-off.

By Blogger Janet, at 7:21 PM  

I agree with Janet. At the risk of angering your readers, BI, I will offer that Jackson Pollack was at best, a misunderstood man, at worst, a self-absorbed loser.

By Blogger Leezer, at 8:02 PM  

Do men look funny naked?! Are you kidding me? We just don't tell our significant others because we don't want to hurt their feelings...

By Blogger Rebecca, at 9:54 AM  

"Art is a rip off" by far the most ignorant response to anything i have ever heard. And pollock was a border line genius. Anything worth knowing is worth knowing well and worth doing some research into. Instead of wasting time looking at easy to read kitsch why not try learning something about art, why and how it is made and what it can offer you besides flashy pap and stupid comments like the above mentioned.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:45 PM  

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