The Daily Dump

A place where everyone (me) is welcomed to express their opinions openly and honestly. I encourage free thinking, free wheeling, off-the-cuff banter and monetary donations.

Thursday, April 20

Tourist For A Day

My office is on Wall St. in New York, which is second only to Times Square as the most trafficked tourist attraction in Manhattan. What the fascination is I’ll never understand. Are people that into their stock holdings that they feel compelled to come to the place where it all happens? Or is that they were looking for “downtown” and, following their natural inclination to travel down on the map, went too far? Whatever it is, I’ve worked here for over four years now and have never seen it through the eyes of a tourist. So I thought with the nice weather I would give it a shot.

A slick move, pretending to read the sign but really stealing from the street musician. She’s no tourist!

This guy tried the same thing, but the street musician escaped.

The cage where the stock brokers are kept.

Triple tourist alert! Backpack on wheels; horizontal striped pants; child wandering off to be abducted.

With son kidnapped the mother has more time for the child she really loves.

Studies confirm: you’re cooler if you are sitting on steps.

Professional tourist photo stance.

In NY, even the dogs get tough on terrorism.

An ancient tombstone in the famous Manhattan graveyard. (She was no one famous.)

A dead flower in a cemetery. So ironic, so poetic, so curiously surrounded by asparagus.


I bet that flower's urine smells funny. Fucking asparagus.

By Blogger Ace Cowboy, at 4:31 PM  

Your take on the city is priceless!
God help us.

By Blogger belligerent mother, at 4:32 PM  

this is really lame. i'm disappointed.

By Blogger treespotter, at 5:41 PM  

btw, on that professional tourist stand, what's the girl doing in the back standing like that? don't you think she looks sad for being left out?

By Blogger treespotter, at 7:03 PM  

I keep reading your blog, but I hadn't commented before. It's really cool. Speaking of tourists, I'll be adding to the ones victimizing Wall Street this coming summer. I'm tromping once more to New York. I've never personally grasped the average tourist's fascination with simple things. For example, here in Jamaica, the tourists come and shock themselves with the sand being white.. "Oh look honey, the sand is actually WHITE! Oh, and look here honey, the water feels warm. Is there some kind of fire underneath the sea? Oh, that a bug on the ground? Ooohh!!! Let's take a picture." But, I'll see what Wall Street's all about...

By Blogger Kaschief, at 11:26 PM  

The guy in the 2nd picture's obviously humping your office building. So New York of him!

By Blogger shirley, at 5:43 AM  

i've always wondered which was worse, being an obvious horizontal striped pants wearing tourists tourist who should naturally expect to be an object of derision for the naturally occuring humans in the area, or pretending to belong wherever you are and trying to trick the natives into believing that you too share their inner-giggling at the stupid tourists?
at least in the first instance you get the pictures that come with it.

By Blogger Lord of the Barnyard, at 9:31 AM  

So, you're telling me that you didn't see ONE fanny pack on your day as a tourist? Or was it you just weren't compelled to take pictures of people with fanny packs?

I bet you a hundred dollars that I could shoot down to the Mall of America here and find at least 10 groups of tourists where two or more of their participants are dawning fanny packs.

Fucking fanny packs.

By Blogger Jenni, at 9:38 AM  

Now you made me sad that I've never visited Wall Street because it looks like an amazing exciting place.

It's settled I'm going to Wall Street for my next vacation.

And striped pants. Come on kid!

By Blogger Julie_Gong, at 10:27 AM  

Can you feed the Wall Street workers?

By Blogger Momentary Academic, at 11:38 AM  

You dillweed... that is NOT asparagus

By Anonymous cj, at 12:04 PM  

Re: above

People use the word dillweed?

Could be worse. I live two blocks off Canal St.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:50 PM  

yeh whats up with asparagus doing there?

By Blogger dw070, at 10:22 PM  

This blog is hilarious - randomly stumbled upon it. I love the tourist photos!

By Blogger nivvers, at 6:37 AM  

Ditto about living on Canal St. Every Weekend it's a Midwesterners flea market, "bargaining" for fake Louis Vuittions that the vendors swear up and down are stolen merchandise.Fucking fat white people!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:28 AM  

I think a more interesting question is: why NOT be fascinated by simple things? Why NOT take pictures of flowers and wander oblivious and curious through a strange landscape? Is the typical New Yorkerist's agenda of getting to and from their overpriced, undersized apartments to their job/gym/bar/dealer really that much cooler? More creative? Edgy?

Tourists rock. New Yorkers suck.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:50 AM  

It was nice of them to set up a little tent for the stockbrokers to get out of the hot Wall Street sun.

By Blogger NancyPearlWannabe, at 12:30 PM  

It's hostas, not asparagus!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:01 PM  

love it, hope you enjoy the city during the spring as much as i do

By Blogger idonothingallday, at 9:46 PM  

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