I am absolutely drowning in work lately. It’s as though everyone else in the office had a meeting, and someone made a huge banner with Print Shop to hang over the conference room table that read “WE JUST REALIZED DAN DOESN’T DO ENOUGH WORK!” and everyone wore hats and ate cake and sat around brainstorming about things they can get me to do.
It got to the point today where, after coming in two hours late (that story to follow in the near future), which isn’t bad considering I’m usually a half an hour late as it is, so really that’s only an hour and a half late, I was greeted with a literal MOUND of paper on my desk. I mean, not even a neatly organized stack of paper, but a heap, a pile, a hoarding jumble of papers!, each with different post-it notes containing two word instructions like “by noon” or “follow up.”
Some hours later, when I had whittled the pile down to only a few items left, one of my bosses came out with two entirely new documents to work on. Something in me snapped and we had this exchange:
Boss: “Make these two things a priority. Can you have them done by the end of the day?”
Me: “Sure, definitely. But I’m going to have to put off sweeping the chimney until tomorrow.”
Oh the regret! As soon as it came out of my mouth. It wasn’t said with malice or even sarcasm or bitterness. It was just said. So immediately, before anything else could be spoken, I did the only thing I could do and laughed the big, fake laugh of a corporate man who enjoys his own jokes so much that he can’t possibly wait for anyone else to laugh first. Then I turned around in my seat and picked up the phone to make a fake phone call.
Point being: Don’t worry, as soon as I find a way to work around this new power restructuring I’ll be back to writing and reading blogs for three quarters of the day, the way it should be.
By the way, if any large publishing houses are reading this, I’m available at a moment’s notice. And I type twenty five words a minute, as long as at least ten of them are small, common words.