When I got it: About a year after I moved into my first apartment, although it has been in the family for an estimated eight years.
How it came into my possession: My mother and aunt had the print made by pasting a picture of my grandfather’s face on an old Dewar’s ad. After I moved into my first apartment and realized I owned nothing besides a bed and a TV, I scoured my parents basement for free things to call my own, finding this amidst a heap of family relics. This is also how I procured my set of muffin tins, which I have neglected to use even once to this day.
Why I like it: It memorializes this infamous story, an event emblematic of my grandfather’s legacy as a carouser and funnyman:
As a way to keep busy after his retirement, my grandfather, who used to own a restaurant, would tend bar at a country club on the weekends. One Sunday a young, attractive woman approaches him and orders a screaming orgasm. My grandfather, more accustomed to martinis and manhattans, has no idea what she is talking about but remains unflustered, looks up the recipe and makes her the drink. Some time later, as the woman and her husband are leaving the bar, my grandfather catches her eye and she is passing by, nods his head and asks, “Did you enjoy your orgasm?”
Why she hates it: My guess is because she doesn’t appreciate the inherent humor of looking into my grandfather’s face everyday and equating it with a sex act. But who knows, she’s weird about things like that.
Your thoughts: MY GRANDFATHER IS A HERO . . . A SEXUAL HERO.