The Daily Dump

A place where everyone (me) is welcomed to express their opinions openly and honestly. I encourage free thinking, free wheeling, off-the-cuff banter and monetary donations.

Wednesday, May 24

Adventures In Things The Girlfriend Doesn’t Want Me To Bring Into Her Home, Volume 1


When I got it: A few weeks after I moved into my first real apartment about six years ago. The sign looked awesome hung up on the bathroom wall, which I painted a crimson red. What didn’t look awesome was the crimson red residue in the tile grout on the floor from when I spilled half a can of paint. However, the sign came in handy as a cheerful distraction for all female guests who thought it was blood.

How it came into my possession: My mother bought it, mailing it to me with one of her signature notes: “Isn’t it cool?!”

Why I like it: I believe bathrooms need decoration too. But not decoration like drapes and Warhol prints, but decoration that says “Have fun in here!” It’s a proven fact that humans use their bathrooms EVERY DAY. So why not make it as enjoyable as possible? Plus it reminds me of a simpler time, when cowboys paid a quarter (which is a great price, by the way) to bathe once a month.

Why she hates it: She says it’s kitschy. And sure, it is a little kitschy to charge guests 25¢ to use your bathtub, especially when we don’t even pay for the water. I suppose the 25¢ should cover the soap, so charging extra for that is even more kitschy. But the important thing is, I don’t think I know what the word “kitschy” means.

Your thoughts: OVERWHELMINGLY IN FAVOR OF ME

32 Comments:

BI: I, too, feel a bathroom should be decorated so its users will have "fun." To this end, I've always wanted to decorate a bathroom in a "turd theme," much like the color palette you've chosen for your blog. I would paint the walls a dusty brown, and perhaps stencil-in cloud shapes (like the clouds that trail behind Peanuts' Pigpen.

By Blogger Leezer, at 4:27 PM  

It's kitchy, not kitschy.

And I have no problem with you bringing this sign into our home. I said, in fact, that for the low price of $10 per week, you could hang this sign wherever you wanted.

By Blogger T.G., at 4:29 PM  

bathrooms SHOULD be fun, which is why mine is fitted with a minibar, a refrigerator, a microwave ove---

oh jesus. i just realized i've been making wee-wee in the kitchen all these years.

nevertheless, your point is well taken.

By Blogger ducklet, at 4:42 PM  

Actually, it's kitschy, with the "s."

(I got your back, BI.) (Also, I have a problem.)

By Anonymous Leah, at 4:53 PM  

BI:
Does your Mom have a problem with the fact tg doesn't want the sign in her (your) home? Didn't your Mom give it to you? BI Mother, Chime in!!

By Blogger Leezer, at 4:53 PM  

Are you a little worried that your mom and TG are accumulating more of a fan club than you? I would be.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:03 PM  

I'm reminded of the Friends episode where Chandler is moving in with Monica, and she won't let him have any of his own stuff in the space they'll be sharing. At the end, Chandler is surprised when Monica has outlined a space for his favorite lounge chair within the living room area. Touched and excited that she is finally consenting to his need for making certain additions to their new home together, he tells her about the idea he has for a decoration in the bedroom. He thinks they should get one of those big signs like on a freeway that says "MERGE" and they should hang it above the bed to symbolize their coming together. To which Monica says, "I think that is a GREAT idea!" And Chandler says, "Really?" And Monica replies, "Uh, NO."

Whatever. Makes me laugh every time I see it.

Anyway, the boyfriend hasn't brought a single thing over to my place yet, and his lease on his old apartment officially ended in February. His old landlord is storing his stuff in the basement of the building he used to live in. Turns out, he only needed his clothes, a razor and a toothbrush, and new computer in order to live with me. Boys are so easy...

You don't need that sign, man. Give it up.

By Blogger Faith, at 5:04 PM  

I'll have it if she won't.

By Blogger missy, at 5:12 PM  

you've no idea how excited i was to see 'volume 1' in the title...can't wait to read MORE.

and, that Friends episode is hilarious...mostly bc poor chandler actually thought monica was serious. ha.

By Blogger VespaRosso, at 5:24 PM  

I like it. The bathroom is the perfect place for kitsch. Although the most disturbing thing I've ever seen in a bathroom is a Jeff Goldblum is Watching You Poop flyer. Creepy!

By Blogger felicity, at 5:55 PM  

Defy TG and bring the sign. Slowing bring it out and she won't even raelize she's been living with it. I bathe with Douglas Fairbank, Jr. and Errol Flynn. Keep the sign.

By Blogger HelloBettyLou, at 6:06 PM  

I like the sign! And yes, one spends an inordinate amount of time there so it should be user-friendly and welcoming. :)

circe

By Anonymous circe, at 6:12 PM  

you had me at crimson red...

By Anonymous shawna, at 6:21 PM  

I say yes to the sign if it's small (like a foot wide or less), no to the sign if it's bigger. For example, my boyfriend has a picture of the cast of Growing Pains over his toilet (no joke). Because it's small, I think it's funny. If it were life-sized-- now, that would just be uncomfortable.

By Blogger mysterygirl!, at 6:24 PM  

The sign should stay...a Dan Murphy Apartment Tradition dating back to apartment 2D.

If it goes?

DIBS!

By Blogger tall 1, at 6:44 PM  

Na, give up the sign. If you need weird shit in your bathroom I think you can find something way more cool for 15 cents at a garage sale. That sign is just not interesting enough for a woman to okay it.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:48 PM  

Uhhh, not sure. Here's the end all, "Does it go with everything else?", if the answer is 'No!' then get rid of it or put it somewhere inside the bathroom, hidden. Behind the towels, maybe...

However I am so with you on the bathroom decorations. I'm also for funny bathroom books.

By Blogger Virenda, at 7:19 PM  

I like the sign... I think it should stay. I am sure she has other items that she, too, could place in the bathroom as the sign seems as though it is versatile and would go with a variety of styles. So yeah, sign should stay.

By Blogger ocg, at 7:22 PM  

I like the sign. It would go with most color schemes, and while kitschy (kitchy?), the bold black font is pretty mod. Alas, the name of the game is compromise so TG no likey, it no stayey.

(The name of the game is also unwavering love, easy sex and 1/2 rent in an expensive city... so you really win no matter what!)

By Blogger shirley, at 8:58 PM  

My aunt and uncle have the same sign in their bathroom. They are in their late fifties.

I like the sign, but why don't you decorate the bathroom together?

By Blogger Erin Mc, at 9:05 PM  

That sign is so funny. I love it. Everyone always get so self-conscious when using someone else's bathroom. This sign will help "break the ice" and let the guest have a good laugh and relax.

By Anonymous Neil, at 9:05 PM  

BI:
Maybe TG doesn't think the sign goes with her Precious Moments collection?

By Blogger Leezer, at 9:06 PM  

What's wrong with kitch? I mean, it's not like it's "Velvet Elvis" kitch...or dogs playing cards kitch...you know?

Keep the sign.

By Blogger Jenni, at 10:45 PM  

I love that sign! I think stuff like that is perfect for a bathroom.

By Blogger Fraulein N, at 8:51 AM  

I am smart enough to know when not to comment. Just remember what I said - NEVER!!!!

By Blogger belligerent mother, at 9:05 AM  

Oooh Jenni - "Precious Moments", I was trying to remember the name of those adorable little porcelain angel-baby things.

BI - I have a "Precious Moments" mini nativity set if you want it. Jesus is so white and rosey. He even has the same face as Mary. You'd love it.

By Blogger p_is_for_payj, at 9:30 AM  

I think we need to see this sign in the larger context of what other 'decor' you are bringing into her apartment... is this it? Or is this one of many kitschy/kitchy (someone get us a dictionary... oh, wait, the internet) items that you are going to try to place among everything that she already has up?

BTW, your mom and girlfriend are total sports. Your posts are funny, but I love reading their responses.

By Anonymous jfm, at 10:06 AM  

I'm all about some kitsch, especially in the throne room. But I think you should kick it up a notch--the antique bathroom sign is past it's prime.

By Blogger Sexy Lexi, at 10:17 AM  

I have a sign in my bathroom (my mom got it for me at a garage sale)that says "please do not steal the linens.. it will be a detriment to the other guests." I like it, but I keep it on the back of the bathroom door, where you can only see it if you actually use the loo.. not if you pop your head in for a quick tour of my "adult" house.

I had one in college that I stole from one of the campus restrooms that said "please do not throw towels in the toilet". I liked that one too, but when I got married, my husband found it creepy that I spent time to pry it off the wall of a public restroom to lean on my toilet. It had to go.

Point is, placement is everything.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:01 AM  

Dan,

That's the greatest sign I've ever seen. I must have one. Where can I buy it?

By Anonymous Larry, at 12:49 PM  

As a "normal" female who hangs road signs "lovingly removed" from the streets of Cambridge, MA in her bedroom - I'm sure there's another place in your apartment where the sign would feel very much at home.

Perhaps above the kitchen sink?

By Blogger Audrey., at 1:13 PM  

I fucking love it. I've got a great one that says "Coffee -> 5 Cents".

By Anonymous abigail, at 11:54 AM  

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