The Daily Dump

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Wednesday, May 24

Four Bad Reasons To Name Your Child ‘Bluebell Madonna’

Geri Halliwell, on why she chose the name “Bluebell Madonna’ for her new daughter:

1. "As I walked around the park in the last few weeks of pregnancy, I seemed to see bluebells [a type of flower] everywhere."

Also a good reason to name your child “squirrel” or “rollerblader”

2. "Scarlett was a name I loved, as Scarlett O'Hara was my fictional heroine. I seemed to recall she had a daughter who was called Blue. I thought that was cute – and Bluebell was even cuter.”


3. "There's a good reason I picked Madonna as a middle name, too. No one else has that name, apart from the Virgin Madonna and the singer, who I love."

That is a completely false statement.

4. “It sounds like a sex position Cosmopolitan magazine would label “The NEW Sex Position for Spring!” I imagine it would involve someone hanging from a door jamb and a few pillows for support.”

(Ed. Note: That last one was mine.)


At least one day there'll be a meeting of Wretched Celebrity Offsprings with Bluebell Madonna, Apple, Coco, & Suri in attendance.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:33 AM  

"Because no one cares about some has-been’s new daughter, Denise.”

By Blogger John Flowers, at 11:34 AM  

Yeah, I can't believe anyone cared enough to give her an outlet to make her anouncement...

How do these people not just laugh at themselves every morning.

By Blogger djmetronome, at 11:36 AM  

Well, I think she's rich enough that even a name like Bluebell Madonna won't condemn her daughter won't to being coked up slut. Then again, Paris Hilton and Bijou Phillips anyone?

Yes, please!

By Blogger HomeImprovementNinja, at 11:44 AM  

First of all, my sister-in-law's mother is named Madonna.

Seconly, "#4" also backs my point to never, under ANY circumstances name your child "Carl."

Speaking of...did you see that Anna Nicole is going to name her baby girl Cherri Pie?

No shit.

By Blogger Jenni, at 11:46 AM  

I look forward to the birth of her brother -- Blueballs Joseph.

By Anonymous Neil, at 12:07 PM  

Oooh, I like Vesparosso's idea! Don't forget to invite Audioscience, Pirate, Moxie Crimefighter, and Jermajesty-- what party would be complete without them?

By Blogger mysterygirl!, at 12:29 PM  

Good one, Neil! Are all of Demi's children invited to the get together as well?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:43 PM  

Let's not forget Jason Lee's son, the illustrious Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf-Lee.

(Don't you think "the illustrious" *must* be in front of that name?)

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:52 PM  

I actually think it would be kind of cute to call a girl "Blue" as a nickname. (As long as she's good looking.) But imagine Geri getting angry at Blue for trying to run away from home with her drug dealing boyfriend and as Blue slams the door behind her Geri screams, "BLUEBELL MADONNA HALLIWELL, YOU GET BACK HERE!" I would think she was having a Tourettes attack.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 12:55 PM  

She's a twit. In the movie, though Scarlett's daughter was called Blue, even she wasn't crazy enough to actually name her that (it was Bonnie).

Though, I think Julia Robert's twins' names are worse:
Hazel Patricia and Phinnaeus Walter

By Blogger ƒåυνέ, at 1:48 PM  

How about Frank Zappa's Moon Unit? Gah.

By the time the poor kid is 12, people are going to start calling her 'Blueballs'. As in "You know, Blueballs right? Ginger's daughter"

By Blogger Heather B., at 2:07 PM  

3. "There's a good reason I picked Madonna as a middle name, too. No one else has that name, apart from the Virgin Madonna and the singer, who I love."

That is a completely false statement.

you're right, it is a completely false statement. my mum's name is madonna.

i shit you not.

By Blogger heather, at 2:30 PM  

I have a cousin named Dorkus. AND, I'm going to name my next child Senator Smelly Pants.

By Blogger Leezer, at 2:38 PM  

"You're my boy Blue! You're my boy."

By Blogger Tim, at 3:40 PM  

BI - Blue as a nickname could, under other circumstances, be cute for a girl, but for the old man in Old School, named Blue. The movie is a classic, and I'd never be able to get Will Farrell's voice out of my mind. "That's my boy, Blue!"

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:41 PM  

And Nicholas Cage's son - Kal-el Coppola Cage.

When my brother and his wife were expecting, they were keeping the names they picked a secret, so they told us if it was a girl, it was going to be Noxema Tapioca, and if it was a boy it was going to be Algonquin Calhoun.

By Blogger Mollypalooza, at 3:59 PM  

I pity all of these children, because they will be, to quote Eddie Izzard, "Beat with sticks."

By Blogger HelloBettyLou, at 4:10 PM  

I agree with Heather. The first thing I thought of was Blueballs. If the girl didn't let ONE guy get to third base, she would forever be known as Blueballs.

By Blogger Dr. Kenneth Noisewater, at 4:23 PM  

My mom has a cousin named Madonna. Besides, why is the fact that you think only two people in the world have ever had that name a good reason to use said name? I can think of lots of things probably no one in the world has EVER named their kid before (PeanutButter, Asshole, SKFJYGIE) but that doesn't mean I'm going to use them!

How about Shannon Sossaman's kid named Audio Science?

By Blogger Hope, at 4:23 PM  

The picture looks great! I'd heard she had a baby... the name she picked is horrid though!

By Anonymous Kerry, at 6:14 PM  

and if I read somewhere that "Bluebell Madonna" just won the triple crown, i'd believe that, too...

or someone could tell me that it was an anniversary ice cream flavor that the bluebell dairy was crankin out, i probably wouldn't blink twice.

so really, horse, newborn, ice cream, sexual position, what's the difference.

By Blogger heatheradair, at 9:14 PM  

where the fuck are all these Heathers coming from?


By Blogger heather, at 9:52 PM  

While Bluebell Madonna is not the best name, it is better than Moxie Crimefighter -- courtesy of Penn Jillette of Penn & Teller fame. Suri isn't bad, either, although an odd choice for two all-American people. Pilot Inspektor? Bad. Just bad.

thanks for not being the only person to blog about celebrity baby names. i wrote about it in my blog ( not too long ago.

By Blogger Bird Girl, at 3:44 AM  

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