The Daily Dump

A place where everyone (me) is welcomed to express their opinions openly and honestly. I encourage free thinking, free wheeling, off-the-cuff banter and monetary donations.

Tuesday, May 30

I’m Done Moving


I’m not ready to talk about the past four days yet. Looking back, it is a blur of sweat, blood, pain, screaming, loathing and driving. I made no less than four genuine deals with the Lord trading my eternal soul for, among other things, an iced coffee and the ability to levitate. I’ve already been asked to move out twice, once by The Girlfriend and once by the crazy lady on the third floor who “didn’t recognize me” and thinks “the building is getting crowded.” I’m still dehydrated, and there is a circular patch of dirt on the bottom of my foot that won’t come off. I can only assume it is tattooed in from the pressure of climbing stair after stair after stair. Or it’s ringworm. And if it is, I don’t really care at this point. All I know is that there is a path hewn from boxes and furniture between the bed and the bathroom, and right now those are the only two places I really need to be. I’m going to spend the rest of the day piecing my indomitable spirit back together, at least to the point where I can laugh about the incident where I literally almost killed a guy from Craigslist with a table leg.

16 Comments:

Umm the words hahah come to mind, but I am moving in a month also, and I dont want any bad karma my way.
Sooo I feel for ya buddy.

By Blogger Softball Slut, at 12:28 PM  

The building is getting crowded...nice. Sounds like she needs some ding-dong ditching done. (Man, I am SUCH a grown-up!)

MUST hear about the table-leg incident. But you knew you'd get requests for that as soon as you typed it, didn't you? Yes, you did. So get on that, eh?

And have I mentioned before that I HATE your word verification? I have? Oh. Let me just reassert that it SUCKS. I don't know why it hates me so...

By Blogger Faith, at 12:54 PM  

BI:
I'm glad you survived. I, a wife, mother, and somewhat successful professional, actually found myself thinking over the weekend, "Hmmmm. I wonder how Dan's move is going?"

Please elaborate on the highs and lows when you have the strength.

By Blogger Leezer, at 12:55 PM  

Oh, BTW, I'm with Faith. Your word verification SUCKS BIG DONKEYS!!! AHHHHHHH

By Blogger Leezer, at 12:56 PM  

Congrats on finishing the move. You know you have to tell us about the table leg incident. He used the word "negativity" didn't he? Whenever someone uses that word I want to beat them to death too, but usually not with a table leg...that's just sick.

By Blogger HomeImprovementNinja, at 1:24 PM  

It seems to me that in the middle of moving in with your girlfriend is the wrong time to be meeting guys on Craigslist.

By Blogger othur-me, at 1:48 PM  

Being asked to move so quickly...that's love.

By Blogger ❉ pixie ❉, at 2:19 PM  

othur-me -- HA.

By Blogger VespaRosso, at 2:29 PM  

If you ran into the crazy lady on the third floor, that means that you were at least walking TO the third floor...If not past it. Moving into a building that is any more than one flight up is something that I am just not prepared to EVER do. I have nightmares. I only live on the second floor of a walkup, and between moving heavy things up the stairs (a futon) and falling down the stairs with things that break (wine bottles) I just don't think it's safe.

By Blogger Werbie, at 2:30 PM  

has she asked you to go out at 2am for a box of Tampax? If you do, its true love.

By Blogger Shopaholic KitKatWoman, at 2:39 PM  

must be rough having to be the first person to have ever gone through moving. let me go get my violin.

By Blogger Lozo, at 4:37 PM  

No worries. You'll piece your spirit back together in plenty of time to have draining discussions of what-goes-where and why-the-hell-do-you-own-that?

By Blogger mere, at 5:19 PM  

Furniture can be deadly, as can remote controls, or anything with an antenna thrown violently at someone in a fit of rage...not that I'd know or anything...seriously...I wouldn't.

By Blogger Jenni, at 5:29 PM  

Congratulations! I'm in the process of moving myself and I know that it's a bitch and a half. The difficult part is over: now you get to shuffle your sh*t in with your girlfriend's. Good luck.

By Blogger Maulleigh, at 5:37 PM  

Jeez, you have a strong, chick following. Am I the first male commenter so far this post? Anyway, every time I moved into a new place with a girl it was a HUGE headache. Well, that may have something to do with the fact that every one of those moves was with the same girl. In any event, I'm sure the Craig's List guy deserved being beaten within an inch of his life with a table leg.

By Blogger Dr. Kenneth Noisewater, at 8:59 PM  

I'll consider your move more than enough exercise for the week.

By Blogger Neil, at 9:27 PM  

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