The Daily Dump

A place where everyone (me) is welcomed to express their opinions openly and honestly. I encourage free thinking, free wheeling, off-the-cuff banter and monetary donations.

Tuesday, May 30

Moving: Prologue

This has nothing to do with my move, but is worth mentioning. While I was on the subway this afternoon I was standing off to the side of a pleasant looking middle-aged woman who was sitting down reading a magazine. When we reached 14th Street, the doors opened and a flood of people came in. Among them was a girl in her late 20’s who was, what’s the right word?, chubby. Not fat, not large, just a normal looking girl carrying around some chub. She prepares to sidle up next to me when suddenly the woman sitting down stands up, taps the girl on the shoulder and says, “Here, you take my seat,” and ushers her over.

Obviously this woman, meaning well, thought the chubby girl was pregnant. Also obvious was the intense physical effort I exerted to prevent myself from throwing up in my mouth out of sheer embarrassment. This poor girl, minding her own business, wearing a polo shirt from Old Navy and her iPod shuffle on a cord around her neck, is suddenly thrust into what I can only imagine is one of the most mortifying, sobering experiences any woman can ever endure. I don’t think there even exists a male equivalent. What could it possibly be? Someone approaching you offering a “Gender Reassignment Surgery Recipient Support Group” pamphlet? Actually, yeah, someone offering you a “Gender Reassignment Surgery Recipient Support Group” pamphlet would probably do it.


And here I thought they were pamphlets about the Falun Gong. Damn!

I really shouldn't have taken so many pamphlets. Double damn!

By Blogger shirley, at 10:53 PM  

Wow. That really sucks for that poor girl. And I also feel bad for that woman, because she just wanted to do good. But I also feel bad for you, because you had to witness it. Yikes!

By Blogger FlippingChipmunk, at 1:02 AM  

How do you know she wasn't pregnant?

By Blogger Leezer, at 1:07 AM  

a piece of advice: you should have thrown up all over the place to distract everyone from these horrific events.

Side thought: What if she reads your blog? Uhhh.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:31 AM  

Are you herein insinuating that Britney is "chubby?" Because she prefers "Perpetually Pregnant With KFed's White-Trash Chill'un." ; )

By Blogger kerri, at 3:53 AM  

Ouch. Was the girl aware of what the woman was insinuating?

By Blogger ❉ pixie ❉, at 7:02 AM  

That's what I was wondering, did the girl seem aware of the insinuation?

By Blogger T., at 7:27 AM  

You know, that "threw up in my mouth a little" saying is really gross. I makes me want to.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:54 AM  

I had two friends over for dinner once, the first friend has 2 kids ranging in age from 6-4. The other has never had any children and, I should note is and was not pregnant, but has put on a little weight in the past years and has a little bit of a that looks like it could be pregnant to a four year old child...or if you don't know her...anyone.

When that four year old child asked that friend if "she was going to have a baby" I wanted to crawl into the garbage disposal of the sink I was standing by and flip the switch.

Terribly awkward.

By Blogger Jenni, at 8:55 AM  

Are people so used to emaciation now that 10 or 20 lbs. too many = pregnant? poor you. sucks when you are in a situation where someone else's actions render you incapable of looking someone else in the eye. or you turn red and they know you saw what happened anyway.

By Blogger mere, at 10:01 AM  

First, this girl was obviously not pregnant. I have no scientific data to back this up, but I consider myself a pretty good judge of these things . . . although I don't know why I would.

Second, the girl seemed confused at first by the random act of kindness, but then when the woman sort of helped her into the seat I think she caught on and she just put her head down and never looked up again. That was the point where I was prepared to start singing "Footloose" as s distraction. God, what an awful situation.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 10:21 AM  

You should have stepped in and said, "Miss, she's clearly not pregnant. Look..." and that's when you punch the girl in the stomach as hard as possible, showing her there's no danger to the fetus because there is no fetus.

I can't think of any problems that would arise from my Solomon-like solution. Crisis averted.

By Blogger Ace Cowboy, at 10:25 AM  

I was hoping the "pregnant" girl was B Spears but wait... that isn't funny because she is pregnant so nevermind. Why am I allowed to even speak...

By Blogger Julie_Gong, at 11:14 AM  

I work at a nightclub and have watched women admonish a chubbier woman for drinking while pregnant!!which always ends up with a lot of expletives being used. You know what, if "chubby girl" is ok with being "chubby girl" then she should be ok with being mistaken for "pregnant chick"...

although i do feel bad for the girl.

guy equivalent= woman you've slept with giving you a Viagra pamphlet...or penile enlargement surgery doctors' phone number.

By Blogger djmetronome, at 11:17 AM  

I can relate to that girl. I'm no fatty, but apparently, the general public thinks so. My favorite mistaken pregnancy was when i was at a pub, totally shitfaced, and some middle aged woman came up and asked me how far along i was and told me i looked 'all aglow'.

it's amazing how a little chubby tummy equals pregnancy in our weight obsessed little world.

By Anonymous abigailroad, at 11:18 AM  

Wait, is that why guys sometimes give up their seat for me on the subway? I thought it was so that they could stand over me and look down my shirt. Now I'm depressed.

By Blogger Cupcake, at 11:30 AM  

I would like to see Britney wear some clothes... just once this year. Thats not too much to ask... is it?

By Anonymous Kerry, at 12:46 PM  

As a fat woman, if someone were to do something like that to me I'd just tell them "I'm not pregnant. I'm just fat." Then they can feel like a big idiot and hang their head in shame, not me. Of course most fat girls aren't as secure about their bodies as I am, so they let themselves feel bad about it instead. Fools!

By Blogger PastaQueen, at 1:34 PM  

Perhaps she just thought the younger gal was mentally retarded- not pregnant? Way to jump to conclusions BI...

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:51 PM  

I always have a crisis of conscience when I'm wondering if I should offer my seat to an older lady. Is she old enough to merit special assistance? Or will it be an insult?

anonymous - are you saying she couldn't be both mentally retarded and pregnant? Because I think that's a little narrow-minded. Retarded people are just as fertile as anyone else.

By Blogger p_is_for_payj, at 2:23 PM  

I assure you that the only thing worse is being the person who accidentally thought you were pregnant.

This nearly happens EVERY time I visit my hair dresser. Sure, she's got a little extra weight on her, but 85% of it is carried as a belly protrusion. Seriously, it doesn't even look questionable -- the woman looks 5-6 months pregnant. Someday she's actually going to be preggers and is going to wonder why no one is saying anything. It's just a bad situation all around --but the girl is an absolute whiz at highlights, so I can't very well go somewhere else.

By Blogger undercover celebrity, at 2:28 PM  

Or maybe the lady thought the chubbster needed a seat because she was fat and would get too tired standing up. I'm just sayin.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:34 PM  

Hey...I'm fat...I'd have just appreciated the seat! Lol!

By Blogger HotDudi, at 2:38 PM  

Any chance you can track this girl down and surreptitiously take a pic to post here for us to inspect?

By Blogger Leezer, at 2:39 PM  

As a big girl myself, I actually enjoy some of the new styles that lend themselves to the pregnancy confusion. I keep waiting for someone to ask me how far along I am so I can embarrass them when I tell them I'm just fat! HA!

On a side note, I also love it when people say, "Your momma!" to me. Because I always instantly reply, "Oh, my mother's dead," with a stone-sober look on my face, and it ALWAYS freaks them out! Cracks my shit up, man...(My mother is dead, btw, and I only do this to people that understand my sense of humor. It's a sick one, it is!)

If more people would just accept the fat for what it is, then we wouldn't have these issues with embarrassment. I try to joke about my own size as often as possible, so people know that I'm not dilusional about my weight. I work out 4 days a week and eat healthy...not my fault my body chooses to keep the extra 30 pounds on itself like it does.

By Blogger Faith, at 2:45 PM  

Oh Jesus, this happened to me a few months ago and I'm still not over it. Was standing on the subway, talking to my friend, not a care in the world, when a seated homeless man asked me if I'd like his seat. I said no thanks, and was about to resume my conversation with my friend, but then he continued, "Are you sure? I mean 'cause you're...[gestures around his stomach in a pregnant belly shape]." I did what pastaqueen up there mentioned, and turned to him and said loudly, "Nope, just OVERWEIGHT!" and then I glared at him the whole rest of the ride, all the while vowing never to eat again.

By Blogger threetoedsloth, at 3:08 PM  

This reminds me of a time when I was about 3, & my mother hadn't lost much of the weight from her pregnancy with me, & I kept asking her if she was going to have a baby. Then she cried & I felt bad. Still do.

By Blogger Andrew, at 3:39 PM  

i can vouch for mental disabled people who are fertile. not because i am one, at least i don't personally consider myself to be fertile, but because i was a labor coach for a while and had one client who had had a head injury and went completely nutty and was sort of slow... then she got pregnant and was put into some state-run system, who somehow found me and asked me to coach her through her labor, and i saw her give birth with my own eyes.
i don't know what happened to her, but she was definitely impaired AND fertile.

By Blogger mere, at 4:58 PM  

Mere's life: INFINITELY more exciting than mine.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 5:03 PM  

I suppose guys are lucky...we offer the seat to anyone female and it's a safe bet we're just matter what we're realy thinking

By Blogger djmetronome, at 7:37 PM  

I can understand the pregnant/chubby mistake because most women don't carry their extra weight around the middle. Most get it on the hips, thighs, and ass well before their belly starts to plump up.

If chubby women started a trend of telling off people offering them a seat as a nice, but mistaken, gesture, I'd simply stop offering. Why risk it? If you see a woman who looks preggers just don't make eye contact and pretend she's not there, that way you won't get her dirty look if she is pregnant and no one's offered her a seat. If she makes a fuss, it's simple: tell her to throw her fit at the fat chicks who find it offensive to be mistaken for being "with child."

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:15 AM  

Well, I went to drop off my dry cleaning today and some stupid lady who waited on me asked if I am pregnant. I am not fat, or large either, but I definitely need to lose ten (probably 20) pounds. When I said "No, I am NOT pregnant!" She said "Really?!" I said "Give me my clothes back, don't expect any more business from me!" And she told me I was crazy. I said, no, I am not crazy, and I am not pregnant, but apparently I AM FAT!!!! Here is a word of advice... don't ask women if they are pregnant unless it is painstakingly obvious!"

Here is the weird part.... I absolutely hate predjudice, but this lady was of Asian decent... two years ago another Asian lady went out of her way in another city to ask me the same question and I was a size 6... probably too skinny for my heigth of 5'6". Is this a cultural thing? You know what... I don't care if it is a cultural thing... if you are going to business in the US and depend on getting money from me, learn my culture and adapt to the fact that to ask anyone you don't know if they are pregnant "Are You Pregnant?" is not acceptable!!!!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:12 PM  

My rule is this: I never let on that I notice/think a person is pregnant unless I actually see a head protruding from down below. And even then I'd hesitate before commenting.

By Blogger karla, at 3:15 PM  

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