Unfortunately, I caught five minutes of “America’s Got Talent” last night.
I’ve decided that it would be OK if the studio burned down while this show was being taped. OK in the sense like when a loved one has cancer, and they’ve been fighting it and fighting it for months and months and you know they’re in pain and as much as it saddens you you know it would be better off if they just let go and you sit by their bed and say, “It’s OK, you can let go.” Only instead of a loved one, it’s someone I hate. And instead of a battle with cancer, it’s going on this fucking show. And instead of letting go, it’s more like “being engulfed in a hellfire.”
If this guy was related to me, every Christmas I would give him a box full of crap, until he got the hint.
This woman is giving thumbs down to the balloon guy after he got rejected. Really insightful commentary from someone who probably waited in line to sit in the audience.
When the previous guy brought out a Regis replica made of balloons, this guy in the audience did an enthusiastic “double finger point” while I’m sure screaming, “You’re the man!” I hate him.
A rapping grandma, also known as “the second best act at the Cedarview Nursing Home, behind the guy who sings the ABC’s with his mouth full.”
Is there anything about this guys face that doesn’t say, “I’m annoying”?
If you don’t want to punch this guy in the face as hard as you can, check your pulse because there’s a good chance you’re dead.
After balloon guy got kicked off, he walked off the stage saying “WOW” and using his hands and mouth to form the representation of the letters W-O-W. Get it? Because it looks like WOW, and he’s saying WOW. And that’s funny because in everyday life, we rarely come across objects depicting the noise they are making, so it’s novel. (Seriously, a box full of crap. With a ribbon. And a card with Snoopy on the front and “DIE!” written on the inside.)
This guy thought the WOW trick was so funny, he immediately had to imitate it. I should really go back and watch the video again, because I’m only 60% sure he isn’t mentally handicapped.