I am just mentally and physically exhausted. Besides the fact that I’ve written over 5,000 words on the Tony Awards (wtf?) I’ve also ingested enough alcohol the past week to stun an unsuspecting Tara Reid. (See? I’m making Tara Reid jokes. That’s one step away from Paris Hilton jokes, which is one step away from doing addition on your fingers.)
Plus I’ve got my annual college alumni reunion tonight, meaning two things: 1) today isn’t the day I stop drinking, and 2) I need to come up with no less than three things “I’ve been up to lately.” I’m not one of those people who feels bad when they go to a reunion and tell people that they’re still stuck in the same old job doing the same old things and taking the same old medications for the same old psychosis. But I refuse to be uninteresting. So when a person throws out the inevitable “So what have you been up to lately?” I like to have a list of things ready to be reeled off. Last year it went:
Girl whose name I can’t remember: “So what have you been up to lately?”
Me: “I just got back from Scotland and England a few weeks ago and I moved into a new apartment and I started a blog. You?”
Girl: “Uh, I was at TRL the other day, and –”
Of course this year I’m going to be pimping the blog even more, seeing as how people actually read it now. And I swear, the first person that comes up to me and says, “Hey, I’ve been reading your blog” is going to get a French kiss. Because while I don’t value my life according to my readership, I am thinking of you guys when I am belligerently drunk at bars and it’s past 4:00am and the bartender is harassing me to leave I drunkenly slur, “I have a blooog! How many people read YOUR blooog? I even have a t-shirt, because people like me.”
So thanks, readers. For making me, an ordinary lush, somebody.