The Daily Dump

A place where everyone (me) is welcomed to express their opinions openly and honestly. I encourage free thinking, free wheeling, off-the-cuff banter and monetary donations.

Tuesday, June 20

Welcome Home, Katherine Lester


I’m sure everyone has heard about this by now, but in case you haven’t the AP is reporting that Katherine Lester is a tard.

I’m kidding, I really don’t mean to be so hard on her. I was young and in love once too. I once told my parents I was sleeping over a friend’s house, but really I was riding my bike to a secluded beach where my friend and I intended on camping out with two girls we had crushes on. So I know the extraordinary lengths to which love can drive a person.

Mostly, I blame the parents. What mothers and fathers need to teach their children is that if they are looking for high school dropouts who live with their parents, the United States has many wonderful opportunities for them. They don’t need to go to Israel to hook up with Staind fans, even if they do put you as number one on their MySpace friends list, even ahead of Tom. And even though it may seem perfectly reasonable at the time to justify the whole thing by saying “We love the same things, the same songs and we have similar dreams,” kids need to realize that in ten years when they have student loan debt, stalled careers, and all the disenchantment that comes with being a fraction of the success you think you will be at 16 that sharing a love of “The Lord of the Rings” and rollercoasters isn’t going to make the Zoloft work any faster.

In other news, this picture made me grow ovaries.

26 Comments:

BI:

At least she gave her impending conversion to Islam some seriously deep thought:

(When Jim-jam-jazzy asked her to convert, "She said, 'No problem because I love you and I love your religion,'")

By Blogger Leezer, at 2:55 PM  

Totally agree with teh viscountess. I think we should have let her stay there. C'mon, is a girl like that really ever going to be a productive member of society?
There, I said it.

By Blogger Cherry Ride, at 2:58 PM  

I don't know, I mean you look at Britney Spears on "Dateline" and then you look at this girl and you have to think "Well, maybe if she can dance . . ."

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 3:16 PM  

Wow, we're referring to Britney Spears as "a productive member of society" these days? Wow.

By Blogger Cherry Ride, at 3:24 PM  

Don't be bitter, dude, they are IN LOVE. In other news I just got 5 myspace emails, I think love is in the air for me also.

By Blogger Betty, at 3:49 PM  

I was just talking to some co-workers about this chick today. We all agree that she is 1) a tard and 2) badly parented. You would think her parents would have asked some questions. For instance: Why is she spending so much time online. Why is she chanting to the east several times a day and why do I have a charge from Middle East Air on my Discover? People are stupid and I pity the future if this is any indication of the people that will populate it.

By Blogger HelloBettyLou, at 4:08 PM  

I am sure that her idiot parents will blame MySpace for not some type of software algorithm that can predict that their daughter is running off to the middle east to live in some guy's basement and convert to Islam.

This is precisely the kind of stuff that most people pick up on when your daughter spends 5 hours a day on the phone talking to some guy named mohammed, but I'm sure that the fault lies with the software.

Damn you Bill Gates! I knew you were evil but I underestimated the depth of your malice. Who knew you were in league with the online predators.

By Blogger HomeImprovementNinja, at 5:18 PM  

i sort of want to stuff that thing and put it in my cubicle. just for fun. and just to one up the guy three cubes over who's got a stuffed fox head peeping out of a faux piece of wood.
and yes, i'm serious.
about the fox part, anyway

By Blogger birdie, at 5:43 PM  

She is a total tard.

Not that I can criticize, because I'm a Myspace whore, too.

By Blogger FlippingChipmunk, at 5:50 PM  

awwww... the guy seems sweet! they can sing It's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you
and be happy forever!! :)
ya ya, she's a moron.... whatever. I mean, he cried people! And they were ganna share his sister's bedroom! that's LOVE!
Why am I getting flashbacks of Being Bobby Brown all of a sudden....?

By Blogger lena, at 6:08 PM  

Hot foreign love... sigh...

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:43 PM  

"grow ovaries"

priceless.

By Blogger Z. Madison, at 7:54 PM  

you belligerent freaking intellectual.
(i've been holding that in. I never leave comments)
but you have become the only source of news I get.

been a loyal reader from go
first stop of the day.
first.
love to watch the number of comments grow.
i know you do, too
you deserve the accolades.
funny shit.

big kiss to you.
and the belligerent mother
and the girlfriend, too.

nice work.
keep it up.
mwah.

stacy

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:01 PM  

aawwww... I love the picture!!!

Who is Katherine Lester!?!?

By Anonymous Kerry, at 12:03 AM  

I have to agree with kerry. Who the hell is Katherine Lester?

My dose of news is the one-sentence (max) blurbs on CNN.com, MSNBC.com, and the local newspaper's website. If they think it's important enough to put eight words about it on the first page, I'll read those eight words. But that is about it.

SO I'm not that well informed in current events. I do know that George Dumbass -- oops, I mean Dubya -- Bush is president, Britney is knocked up again ALREADY and has confirmed her white-trashness, and gas prices fu*@(ing suck.


I love that photo, and your comment on it is absolutely priceless!!!!

Bird Girl

By Blogger Bird Girl, at 1:10 AM  

Wow, so, um, first off, shouldn't we be wondering how something like that is making the news? Imagine if all kids who try to fun away from home, and then fail, had their stories posted as current news events?

I love Yahoo. And funny poems about bloggers. And the following statement: "this picture made me grow ovaries."

Wonderful, just... wonderful.

By Blogger Kelly, at 9:31 AM  

Uh, try to run away from home, none of the "fun away" from home business.

By Blogger Kelly, at 9:32 AM  

Wow. I guess teenage romance can be a pretty powerful thing, however, if I were her I would have realized that my mom and dad would have KICKED MY ASS if I would have pulled a stunt like that.

And that bear has got to be the cutest thing I've ever seen.

Ever.

By Blogger Jenni, at 9:48 AM  

I have an overwhelming urge to bitch-slap that girl.

But seriously, it makes me wonder what her life is like at home, how sheltered and naive she must be (for one thing) to think that moving to the West Bank and converting to Islam for some guy she's never met is a GOOD idea. WTF?!

By Blogger Cath, at 9:51 AM  

For everyone wondering who Katherine Lester is, you can click on her name in the post for a link to the news article. Or you can Google her. Or you can go up to a co-worker and say, "Hey, do you know who Katherine Lester is?" until you find one who does.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 10:04 AM  

I hadn't heard of her until you posted this, so maybe the midwest is a bit behind on this story...I dunno. But I'm glad you put it up, man. She is a tard, and you shouldn't apologize for calling her that by any means. Her family might be as well, if they didn't notice this shit was going on.

Have things changed so much in the past 14 years since I was a teenager? Have they all gone numb and idiotic due to their exposure to the internet, reality t.v., and role models like Britney and Kevin? CHRIST!!

By Blogger Faith, at 11:21 AM  

"...kids need to realize that in ten years when they have student loan debt, stalled careers, and all the disenchantment that comes with being a fraction of the success you think you will be at 16..."

nice to know it's not just me.

wait, is that a bit too much schadenfreude?

By Blogger Jill, at 12:58 PM  

"This picture made me grow ovaries" That has got to be pretty much the best line I have ever heard - I am your biggest fan! lol Can't wait for tomorrow's post, haha

By Blogger Beechball, at 6:07 PM  

"I don't think she realizes how serious this is," Mary Lester said. "We've all tried talking to her, but talking to a 16-year-old is like trying to bend steel."

Classic.

By Blogger Brookelina, at 9:46 AM  

After years of dating (and yet never once making a trip to the Middle East), I now know that I'm looking for an equally disgruntled, disechanted former dreamer who realizes that being an adult sucks the will to live (or desire to convert to Islam for a high-school dropout) right out of you.

Life is beautiful.

By Blogger takin chances, at 12:58 PM  

Well it's all about her parents....we can't blame the kids? or MySpace? Love is blind and it's universal...and we can go crazy for it! this is not about religion (personal things)....just crazy LUV....... and stupid parents.

By Anonymous isdaw, at 3:57 PM  

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