The Daily Dump

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Tuesday, July 18

Because Yesterday’s Post May Belie The Fact That 50% Of All Marriages End In Divorce


It’s the age old question: If you have the chance to corner a 17-year old girl in your office and force yourself on her sexually, do you take it? Even though it will jeopardize your marriage with a woman who, at 52, is still very attractive, never mind ridiculously wealthy? I’m going to have to go with

I’m not saying it’s the right thing to do. But it’s certainly the cool thing to do.

Side note: I’ve never understood what prompts people to write letters to newspaper editors about crap like this.












I’m just fascinated at the thought of Michael Chimenti finding out about Christie Brinkley’s divorce and immediately writing a letter to the editor of AM New York to publicly vilify her cheating ex-husband. Does he feel better after putting it in the mailbox? Like he really effectuated cultural stimulation with his commentary, and people will now see Peter Cook for the heartless, harbinger of evil that he is?

You told him, Mike! Dope of the Century! Yeah!

31 Comments:

wait, there's an award? is there a statute of limitations? i once left my girlfriend for a fantasy relationship with a bottle of purple passion and a Super Nintendo.

By Blogger ducklet, at 2:17 PM  

Ah, Mike is such an accomplished writer at that! He doesn't understand why Peter "choose to lose Christies Brinkley"? Ugh.

By Blogger FlippingChipmunk, at 2:46 PM  

Haha, I know. He loses both of them! All of them in fact. All Christies Brinkley!

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 2:50 PM  

Even though that girl is 17, I still think Christie Brinkley is hotter at 52, or whatever she is. That girl looks like a poor-man's Jessica "Perhaps the most overrated female celbrity of our time" Alba.

By Blogger White Dade, at 2:51 PM  

BI:
Probably you shouldn't get married just yet.

By Blogger Leezer, at 2:59 PM  

Well, if even Christie Brinkley can't keep a man from cheating on her... damn. A sad commentary for women everywhere. : ) BTW, I don't get the appeal of 17 year old girls, is it the adrenaline rush or jailbait, or that they have ABSOLUTELY no REAL expectations of men? Seriously, I don't get it...
~Fab ; )~

By Blogger Officially Fabulous, at 3:30 PM  

I'm with the viscountess on this one, BI. Did you feel the need to follow-up yesterday's post with something mas macho?

By Blogger Cherry Ride, at 3:34 PM  

I've never written an editorial to the paper, but I confess I sometimes write letters to companies complaining about products or making suggestions for new ones. Last month I wrote to Subway and told them the lids on their salad bowls were way to hard to seal. Why yes, I am a single woman who owns a cat and crochets. Why do you ask?

By Blogger PastaQueen, at 3:55 PM  

Maybe Michael is hoping that Christie Brinkley (or one of them, at least) will see his letter and come running to him for emotional support.

And I totally agree with officially thirty. I mean, okay, they're young, I'll give them that. But I don't even like being in the same mall/metro train/great outdoors as most 18 year olds of either sex. It's all well and good to say that their personality doesn't matter because you're not really talking. But they don't know what they're doing! And he was with this girl for a year?! You have to talk to her sometime... I say ditch the teenager and go for the mid-20's girl.

BTW, if there is any rich man who wants to support a mid-20's girl... I accept cash, money orders, apartments, expensive jewelry...

By Blogger Rebecca, at 4:04 PM  

i stand by my commentary

By Anonymous michael chimenti, at 4:09 PM  

I think everyone has forgotten the first rule of The Daily Dump:

If it looks like sarcasm, and it sounds like sarcasm and it tastes like sarcasm, it's probably a racist joke. In this case, though, it is sarcasm.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 4:20 PM  

There are rules for The Daily Dump?! You really should post them. And then we can all mock them. It'd be great.

And you should just be proud of us all for focusing on the main topic, rather than whether or not you choose to use the most up-to-date form of a word.

By Blogger Rebecca, at 4:28 PM  

pot meet kettle

as if his letter is somehow different than blogging as far as expressing oneself goes?!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:51 PM  

How do we know that we have the full story here? Maybe Christie Brinkley was always on this poor guy's back about keeping the toilet seat up? Or maybe she went crazy everytime a Billy Joel song came on the radio and started hitting him? Maybe he's just a young-at-heart guy and is more compatible with underage girls?

By Anonymous Neil, at 4:54 PM  

"I don't get the appeal of 17 year old girls"


oh you get it all right. you just hate to admit it.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:54 PM  

you and marriage? a volitile combo, to say the least. When are you going to face your feminine side and really feel?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:07 PM  

I was going to say that I didn't get the 17 yr old girl thing, because how, at that age, could they have any sort of mad sex skillz? But then I remembered, these days most adolescence are totally promiscuous. (I had another word in mind, but decided against it).

By Blogger Gemini Prefect, at 5:10 PM  

I bet Michael Chimichanga's wife high-fived him when he wrote that letter. And then they did it. That's the way to keep a marriage alive!

By Blogger shirley, at 9:23 PM  

I feel old when I think about the fact that Christie Brinkley was the young piece of ass in Vacation that tempts Chevy Chase to stray from his marriage, and now she's like the mom in the movie and THIS chick is the new piece of ass on the block. Is that a heart tattoo on her hand? Don't you have to be 18 for that? Good enough for me. She must be 18 . . .

By Blogger Dr. Kenneth Noisewater, at 10:49 PM  

Writing letters to the editor is to an older generation as blogging is to our generation. You may as well ask, why did you feel compelled to write a blog entry about this? What did you hope to achieve?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:34 AM  

I'm with noisewater...what's with that stupid heart on her hand? It looks like she got bored in homeroom and decided to draw one on there in between her time spent gazing out the window and dreaming of her new man Pete that would soon be leaving his beautiful, grown-up wife to be with her. "I 'heart' Pete! He's just the bestest boyfriend EVER!"

By Blogger Faith, at 9:50 AM  

Anonymous:
Why did you feel compelled to write a comment about a blog entry about this?

By Blogger Leezer, at 10:03 AM  

"I’m not saying it’s the right thing to do. But it’s certainly the cool thing to do."

This is sarcasm? Nice back pedal, but no, this isn't sarcasm.

You, sir, are a master at sarcasm, often wielding irony like a ninja. But this? Well this is beneath you. Fortunately, your fans know you a little better. And we'll just chalk this up to a momentary lapse of belligerent intellect.

Funny that Mike Chimenti got it right and you didn't.

(now THAT is sarcasm.)

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:31 AM  

the teenage girl's tattoo annoys me greatly. (i have no idea what her name is & it doesn't really matter. with a tattoo as dumb as that she doesn't deserve a name.)

By Blogger Kawaii desu ne, at 12:37 PM  

tattoo was drawn on her hand by her kid sister this week (according to news reports).

relax. you're all forgetting she's a TEENAGER! she is not a movie star trying to get her name in the paper. she's just a kid that was preyed upon by an old, rich man. give her a freaking break.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:44 PM  

According to The Insider, the girl is apparently 19. To me, she looks like the love-child of Haylie Duff, Mariah Carey, & Bethany Joy Lenz(One of the girls from One Tree Hill).

By Blogger FlippingChipmunk, at 1:44 PM  

Christie Brinkley is beautiful.... he is/was crazy to mess around with a 17 year old that is obviously going nowhere ;)

By Anonymous Kerry, at 3:27 PM  

Are we sure he didn't just email it? In that case it's really no more work than posting a comment on a blog, in which case we're all Michael Chimentis at heart.

Oh and:

BTW, I don't get the appeal of 17 year old girls

Yeah, that's really hard to get. That's like telling a woman "I don't get the appeal of filthy rich guys."

By Blogger T., at 8:39 AM  

he is/was crazy to mess around with a 17 year old that is obviously going nowhere ;)

You're not thinking like a horny guy, which is what Cook is. She wasn't going nowhere, she was going to the hotel with him. That's all the ambition I think Cook was really looking for.

By Blogger T., at 8:41 AM  

I am horrified to admit that I actually know Michael Chimenti.

Thankfully, my ex inherited him in the breakup.

By Blogger i like cheese, at 10:59 AM  

To the "intellectual" who started this blog: You make fun of me writing letters to the editor - it takes me exactly 20 seconds to send an email to the papers - how many hours do you waste "blogging"? At least when I get a letter published in the paper I know it's being read. Who reads these idiotic blogs - other bloggers? Get a life.

To those poking fun at the typo: I didn't write the first line of that letter - it was added by the editor.

And to those pretending to be me or one of my "exes" - sorry, the jig us up.

I have to go back to work now - something most of you probably know very little about.

By Anonymous the real michael chimenti, at 1:01 PM  

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