(Because I have to draw this out as long as possible because I’m not yet done PDF’ing every piece of paper in the office. Has anyone here ever PDF’ed a post-it? Because I have.)
Me: Is the writer of a blog, which can be found here. Has never killed a man, but remains curious.
John: Is tall. Proficient at reaching things off high shelves and predicting traffic patterns. Is known by many as “the only straight man in the theater industry,” and by “many” I mean all the gay people in the theater industry. Bears a striking resemblance to a J-Date billboard and appreciates a fancy meal. John bought his first pair of jeans in 2005.
The girlfriend: Lover of all things costing more than $25, The Girlfriend sums up her personality by saying, “I’m hungry, stop typing and let’s get dinner. No really, stop typing. I said stop. I’m going to kill you.” Looks cute with or without clothes on and rarely curses in polite company, although is rarely among polite company.
Scott: Intense in all things, including eating and looking tough. In high school, made a man named Paul Mazza go bald by nicknaming him “Bald Mazza” in ironic celebration of his long, flowing locks. By the time he graduated college, there was not a single hair left on his head. Is the quickest man I know with a pun and rarely wears a shirt.