The Daily Dump

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Thursday, July 6

Montreal Vignette Numéro Très
A Risky Maneuver!


Scene: All four of us at a dance club on Crescent Street. We have been dancing for over an hour and are tired and sweaty, but having fun. I am trying out the new moves I learned from “So You Think You Can Dance,” and The Girlfriend is keeping up with me. Finally, though, she gets tired and decides to step off to the side, leaving me, John and Scott on the dance floor. Hip-hop is blasting in the background.

The Girlfriend: (screaming and motioning with her hands) “I’m going to take a break for a bit.”

(I nod in approval, she moves approximately fifteen feet away to the wall. I resume dancing, but in a matter of seconds I feel someone come up behind me and begin to move wildly, arms swinging, body pressed against my back. I peek over my shoulder and assess two things: that it is a girl, and that she may be anywhere from one inch to one foot taller than me. I look to John and Scott for an idea of what to do, but they are just laughing. Suddenly, The Girlfriend comes out of nowhere.)

The Girlfriend: (while squeezing in between the girl and me, speaking to the girl in a tone that is equal parts menacing and delightful) “Sorry . . .”

(The Girl dances off quickly through the crowd like a deer prancing through a forest of trees.)

The Girlfriend: “I leave for TWO seconds! What the hell was that?”

Me: “She couldn’t resist my dancing. Don’t blame her though, she just wanted to be a part of something special.”

The Girlfriend: “Or it’s dark and she’s drunk.”

Me: “Or that.”

(The Girlfriend steps off to the side again, this time with a circumspect glance over the crowd. John, Scott and I go back to dancing, chuckling to ourselves at the arbitrariness of the world.)

End.

12 Comments:

"The Girl dances off quickly through the crowd like a deer prancing through a forest of trees." Haha, I can totally picture it. If it makes you feel any better some 14 year-olds were checking out my boyfriend this weekend. Hot.

By Blogger Hope, at 3:50 PM  

Were you utilizing that handstand move you're demonstrating in the photo? Because nobody would be able to resist that one. That's poetry, man.

By Blogger Cherry Ride, at 4:10 PM  

BI:
I LOVE So You Think You Can Dance. I'm way over the hill now, but in my day, I could cut a rug.

BI,
I'm picking up a theme here. First, you were stalked in the mens room, then stalked by an Amazonion equine of some sort. What will the fourth vignette bring?

By Blogger Leezer, at 4:15 PM  

I'm just mesmerized by the picture myself...showing off the hairy stomach. No wonder the French Canadians were all over you.

By Blogger Carrie Broadshoulders, at 4:49 PM  

I feel ya on trying out new moves. I was busting out the C-Walk all over Chicago this weekend.... and I then I thought I would bring out some air guitar.

Not everyone can pull that off, yak know. It's that something special you were talking about.

By Blogger Erin Mc, at 5:16 PM  

I think you mean "trois" not "très".

Good stories, isn't Montreal beautiful? And isn't it cool to feel like you're in Europe without leaving the continent?

By Blogger rawbean, at 9:27 PM  

#1 - Hot picture.
#2 - Rawbean is right. "Vignette Number Very"
#3 - Pretty sure you just told that story so as to drive home the point that you're desirable to all your readers/women lusting after you.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:22 AM  

Je vous avais vu danser toute la nuit, et quand cette femme est finalement partie, je l'ai pensé mieux pour me déplacer rapidement. Je suis désolé. Tellement désolé, mon petit bonbon.

Je penserai à vous souvent, et tendrement. Votre danser m'a rendu chaud. Je voulais être près de vous... et maintenant... vous êtes allé de ma vie. Pour toujours.

By Anonymous Femme d'Amazone, at 8:56 AM  

Hi! The room look nice! I really love NY, you're so lucky to live there!

By Anonymous Caroline, at 9:11 AM  

very risky indeed. always in the mood for a catfight, me. they're sooo much fun!

By Blogger treespotter, at 9:49 AM  

By the way, I ran the French comment through an online translator and came up with this:

I had seen you dancing all during the night, and when this woman finally left, I thought it better to move me quickly. I am sorry. So sorry, my small candy. I will think of you often, and tenderly. Your to dance returned to me hot. I wanted to be close to you... and now... you went from my life. For always.

Absolutely classic. "My small candy." I think I'm in love.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 12:07 PM  

doncha just love BabelFish, etc., translations?

"Your to dance returned to me hot" it just doesn't get more romantic than that, does it "my small candy"??

By Anonymous Bird Girl, at 4:02 AM  

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