The Daily Dump

A place where everyone (me) is welcomed to express their opinions openly and honestly. I encourage free thinking, free wheeling, off-the-cuff banter and monetary donations.

Tuesday, July 11

My Five Day Late Reaction to The Emmy Nominations


I’ve finally had the time to really contemplate the nominations for the 58th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards, and by “really contemplate” I obviously mean “catch an article about them because I had no idea they even happened until now,” proving once again that if you’re getting your news from me, you don’t really care about the news.

I watch a lot of TV. I think that’s the fourteenth or fifteenth time I’ve written that sentence in this blog, because I’m proud of it for two reasons: 1. I think TV is a valuable creative medium – both for information and entertainment; and 2. I’m being honest, and I lie about so many other things that it feels good to tell the truth from time to time, unlike those people who say, “I never watch TV.” Who the fuck never watches TV? What do you do at night if you don’t watch TV? My guess is you think up other lies to tell about yourself to make you seem interesting, like “I read,” or “I paint,” or “I think it would be cool to go to culinary school.”

Anyway, I was planning on reviewing every category but then I realized that I don’t know what cinematography is. Or art direction. Or why the hell there is a choreography category. Plus it turns out there are 90 categories. I can’t even come up with 90 things that happen on TV, yet the academy has come up with 90 things that are “outstanding.” Oh, wait, 89 things that are outstanding, and one thing that gets “exceptional merit” – the unique category “Exceptional Merit in Nonfiction Filmmaking.” (Which contains the movies Two Days In October and Three Days In September. Who said nonfiction filmmakers weren’t creative?)

So I guess I’m left just covering the main categories, plus any others that catch my attention. Like “Outstanding Makeup For A Series (Non-Prosthetic).” If you don’t have an opinion on that, you’re an asshole.

Outstanding Main Title Theme Music

Get Ed • Disney
Masters Of Horror • Showtime
Over There • FX Network
Prison Break • FOX
Rome • HBO

My Pick: If the point of title music is to catch the viewer’s attention and make him want to continue watching (and I’m only guessing that’s what its point is, but I think I’m making sense) then these all blow. Sure, I haven’t seen two of the three, but I’m pretty sure you could play a recording of Mandy Moore saying, “Have I ever told you how perfect you are, Dan?” and I still wouldn’t watch “Get Ed” or “Masters of Horror.” My obvious choice is the title music to “Weeds,” which you can hear here (it’s the first song).

Will win: This isn’t good – it’s my first category and I already don’t care.

Outstanding Lighting Direction (Electronic, Multi-Camera) For VMC Programming

78th Annual Academy Awards • ABC
American Idol • American Classics Songbook With Rod Stewart • FOX
American Idol • Finale • FOX
2005 American Music Awards • ABC
Late Night With Conan O’Brien• Episode #2226 • NBC

I don’t care who wins, I just want to know who watched episode #2226 of “Late Night With Conan O’Brien,” sat up off their couch and said, “There’s something different about this episode. Everyone seems bathed in a celestial light. I’ve got to call the academy - that’s the kind of lighting that will land you an Emmy.”

Outstanding Reality Program

Antiques Roadshow • PBS
The Dog Whisperer • National Geographic Channel
Extreme Makeover: Home Edition • ABC
Kathy Griffin: My Life On The D-List • Bravo
Penn & Teller: Bullshit • Showtime

My Pick: If anything other than “Extreme Makeover” wins, it’s just proof that that academy hates poor people.

Will win: “Extreme Makeover.” Because the academy doesn’t hate poor people, I was only kidding about that. They care about poor people. Poor people represent a class of society who struggle for things like cable TV, making it seem important and worthwhile.

Outstanding Reality-Competition Program

The Amazing Race • CBS
American Idol • FOX
Dancing With The Stars • ABC
Project Runway • Bravo
Survivor • CBS

My Pick: I actually became interested in “Survivor” this year. And while I am loathe to say that it was because of Danielle’s rack, the bottom line is . . .

Will win: How can they possibly ignore the popularity of “American Idol?” I read an entire article in U.S. News and World Reports about how parents are teaching their toddlers to use the phone by voting in to “American Idol.” Of course that’s a lie . . . but it could be the truth!

Outstanding Guest Actor In A Comedy Series

Extras • HBO • Patrick Stewart as Himself
Extras • HBO • Ben Stiller as Himself
Two And A Half Men • CBS • Martin Sheen as Harvey
Will & Grace • NBC • Alec Baldwin as Malcolm
Will & Grace • NBC • Leslie Jordan as Beverley Leslie

My Pick: Alec Baldwin, hands down. Even if you hate “Will & Grace,” even if the mere idea of watching this show makes you want to become gay just so you can hate the show on the pretense that it mocks your station in life, you have to enjoy Alec Baldwin, you fruit salad head.

Will win: Patrick Stewart, because everyone loves to hear him speak.

Outstanding Guest Actor In A Drama Series

Boston Legal • ABC • Michael J. Fox as Daniel Post
Boston Legal • ABC • Christian Clemenson as Jerry “Hands” Espenson
ER • NBC • James Woods as Dr. Nate Lenno
Grey’s Anatomy • ABC • Kyle Chandler as Dylan Young
Lost • ABC • Henry Ian Cusick as Desmond

My Pick: Michael J. Fox. Not just because he was good, but because for almost four years of my life I wanted to be him. Not recently . . . I mean a long time ago. Obviously.

Will win: Michael J. Fox. If he doesn’t, I will be the first one writing a letter here.

Outstanding Guest Actress In A Comedy Series

Desperate Housewives • ABC • Shirley Knight as Phyllis Van de Kamp
Extras • HBO • Kate Winslet as Herself
Malcolm In The Middle • FOX • Cloris Leachman as Ida
Monk • USA • Laurie Metcalf as Cora
Will & Grace • NBC • Blythe Danner as Marilyn Truman

My Pick: Kate Winslet. I only watched one episode of “Extras” and it was the episode with Kate Winslet. And while I didn’t find it as HEARTPOUNDINGLY HILARIOUS as everyone made it out to be, there’s still something to be said for Kate Winslet being funny. And that is: “She’s hot.”

Will win: I tried to read some articles on the internet about who Shirley Knight is but I got so bored every time I couldn’t finish. But I’m going to say that she wins, because when in doubt give an award to the show that everyone watches but doesn’t like. It makes the world feel better about itself.

Outstanding Guest Actress In A Drama Series

Grey’s Anatomy • ABC • Kate Burton as Ellis Grey
Grey’s Anatomy • ABC • Christina Ricci as Hannah
Huff • Showtime • Swoosie Kurtz as Madeline Sullivan
Six Feet Under • HBO • Patricia Clarkson as Aunt Sarah
Six Feet Under • HBO • Joanna Cassidy as Margaret Chenowith

My Pick: I’ve seen none of these episodes, so I’m going to go on pure intuition. Christina Ricci, because she looks good in a bathing suit. What? That’s not intuition? Oh. Bite me.

Will win: Swoosie Kurtz was awesome in “Sisters,” Patricia Clarkson has done like 75 indie movies, and Kate Burton is literally a professional guest star, but Joanna Cassidy’s measurements at 66 years of age are 36C-25-35. Draw your own conclusion.

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series

Arrested Development • FOX • Will Arnett as Gob Bluth
Entourage • HBO • Jeremy Piven as Ari Gold
Malcolm In The Middle • FOX • Bryan Cranston as Hal
Two And A Half Men • CBS • Jon Cryer as Alan Harper
Will & Grace • NBC • Sean Hayes as Jack

My Pick: Sean Hayes. Because it’s brave of him to break through gay discrimination and embrace his role as a spokesperson for changing times. Yes, of course I’m kidding, fuck that progressive shit, Will Arnett deserved this award when he was in the womb, and every step along the way from that womb to my heart.

Will win: Something tells me Jeremy Piven will. And that something is that the Emmy voters are always a year behind, probably because they don’t read blogs and get most of their facts from overhearing their housekeepers on the phone with their relatives in the Dominican Republic saying “Let us hug it out, bitch!”

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Drama Series

Boston Legal • ABC • William Shatner as Denny Crane
Huff • Showtime • Oliver Platt as Russell Tupper
The Sopranos • HBO • Michael Imperioli as Christopher Moltisanti
24 • FOX • Gregory Itzin as President Charles Logan
The West Wing • NBC • Alan Alda as Arnold Vinick

My Pick: Gotta be William Shatner. And not just because of this.

Will win: The only reason I think William Shatner might not win is because he’s more funny than dramatic. I mean, the entire show is. And you’re up against Alan Alda. I can’t think of any competition in which I would challenge Alan Alda – the man, the mystery, the name with only four different letters in it.

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series

Curb Your Enthusiasm • HBO • Cheryl Hines as Cheryl David
Desperate Housewives • ABC • Alfre Woodard as Betty Applewhite
My Name Is Earl • NBC • Jaime Pressly as Joy
Weeds • Showtime • Elizabeth Perkins as Celia Hodes
Will & Grace • NBC • Megan Mullally as Karen

My Pick: Elizabeth Perkins, and not just because I love the show. She is genuinely good, everything you want in a supporting character. Once, while referring to her teenage daughter, she delivered the line “I should have had an abortion” with such aplomb, that even if you don’t really know what aplomb means, like me, you know that it was awesome.

Will win: Alfre Woodard, because OMG it wouldn’t be an award show if “Desperate Housewives” didn’t win more awards than it deserved. (Side note: On the scale of awesome irony, where would it rank if Jaime Pressly won an award for acting like who she is in real life? Basically for showing up on set and being herself? I think I have to root for this now.)

Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Drama Series

Boston Legal • ABC • Candice Bergen as Shirley Schmidt
Grey’s Anatomy • ABC • Sandra Oh as Cristina Yang
Grey’s Anatomy • ABC • Chandra Wilson as Dr. Bailey
Huff • Showtime • Blythe Danner as Izzy Huffstodt
24 • FOX • Jean Smart as First Lady Martha Logan

My Pick: Candice Bergen. And not because she’s particularly brilliant (her part is generally well written and she’s entertaining) but more because the rest of this list makes me want to punch myself in the leg like five times. Hard! If you don’t think Sandra Oh is a scary person to look at, I’m sorry that you’ve lost your eyesight. It must be difficult.

Will win: Blythe Danner in an upset! I don’t care.

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Comedy Series

Curb Your Enthusiasm • HBO • Larry David as Himself
The King Of Queens • CBS • Kevin James as Doug Heffernan
Monk • USA • Tony Shalhoub as Adrian Monk
The Office • NBC • Steve Carell as Michael Scott
Two And A Half Men • CBS • Charlie Sheen as Charlie Harper

My Pick: Fuck that, I’m writing in Jason Bateman. I can put one chamber of my heart behind Steve Carell, and next year I’ll probably whole heartedly support him, but not while Jason Bateman is still eligible. I was planning on sabotaging the award show by parachuting in when this award was being delivered wearing an “Arrested Development” billboard and a Jason Bateman mask, but the last time I went base jumping, when I woke up I was really scared so I don’t think I’ll be trying it again.

Will win: Steve Carell. And it will be a bittersweet victory for comedy. And when is someone going to stand up and realize that Antonio from “Wings” has won two Emmy awards. Can we stop just accidentally giving these things away? Also, I can’t believe you’re still reading this.

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Drama Series

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit • NBC • Christopher Meloni as Detective Elliot Stabler
Rescue Me • FX Network • Denis Leary as Tommy Gavin
Six Feet Under • HBO • Peter Krause as Nate Fisher
24 • FOX • Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer
The West Wing • NBC • Martin Sheen as President Josiah Bartlet

My Pick: Great category. I haven’t watched “Rescue Me” enough to really appreciate Denis Leary, but his performance in the consistently overlooked The Ref has endeared me to him ever since. And I like all of the other shows in the category, and I like all of the actors, but once again I need to balk here: I’ve only recently started watching “House,” and you know what? It’s not a very good show. But you know what else? Hugh Laurie is awesome. Really. For one hour, I prefer watching him more than any of these other guys. I mean, maybe if Kiefer Sutherland dressed up a little more, you know?

Will win: “The West Wing” went out with more of a whimper than a bang, so I don’t know how high the sentiment is right now for Martin Sheen. But if Hugh Laurie can’t win, and I don’t think he will since he’s not nominated, then let’s at least get a Kiefer Sutherland acceptance speech out of this. No one has heard him speak out of character for about four years now. I wouldn’t be surprised is he started his acceptance speech with, “I’m Jack Bauer. Kiefer Sutherland couldn’t make it tonight.”

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Comedy Series

The Comeback • HBO • Lisa Kudrow as Valerie Cherish
Malcolm In The Middle • FOX • Jane Kaczmarek as Lois
The New Adventures Of Old Christine • CBS • Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Christine Campbell
Out Of Practice • CBS • Stockard Channing as Lydia Barnes
Will & Grace • NBC • Debra Messing as Grace

My Pick: They should just give the award to all five of them and make each one give a 30 second speech on why they deserve it. Then have America vote in to see who wins. And the four losers get dunked in a dunk tank. Then I’ll care about this category.

Will win: No one wins in this situation. Unless Stockard Channing wins and says, “What is this ‘Out of Practice’ everyone keeps talking about?”

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Drama Series

The Closer • TNT • Kyra Sedgwick as Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson
Commander In Chief • ABC • Gena Davis as Mackenzie Allen
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit • NBC • Mariska Hargitay as Detective Olivia Benson
Six Feet Under • HBO • Frances Conroy as Ruth Fisher
The West Wing • NBC • Television Allison Janney as C.J. Cregg

My Pick: Give it back to Mariska. I can’t give any credit to Kyra Sedgwick because for some reason I blame her for getting ugly. I feel like there’s no reason she shouldn’t be hot, yet she isn’t. So the only plausible explanation is it’s her fault. And maybe the “Six Feet Under” girl is good, but aren’t they all the same person on that show?

Will win: Gena Davis. And the only way I won’t change the channel is if she gets up on stage, says, “Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!” and Michael Keaton comes out on stage in full costume and carries her off on his shoulder. Also note that I should be producing the Emmy awards.

Outstanding Writing For A Comedy Series

Arrested Development • Development Arrested • FOX
Entourage • Exodus • HBO
Extras • Kate Winslet • HBO
My Name Is Earl • Pilot • NBC
The Office • Christmas Party • NBC

My Pick: “Arrested Development” was one of the greatest comedies ever put on television. “My Name Is Earl” is the writing equivalent of taking a crap with a hemorrhoid.

Will win: “The Office.” Because everyone has decided to move on past “Arrested Development” like the autistic child you put in a home and feel bad about, but, you know, there’s no use crying over spilled milk. So you move on with life and think of happy things.

Outstanding Writing For A Drama Series

Grey’s Anatomy • It’s the End Of The World, As We Know It (Part 1 & 2) • ABC
Grey’s Anatomy • Into You Like A Train • ABC
Lost • The 23rd Psalm • ABC
Six Feet Under • Everyone’s Waiting • HBO
The Sopranos • Members Only • HBO

My Pick: While “Lost” may be an addicting show, I really don’t think it’s due to the writing. And let’s just say that on a list of the Top Five Reasons To Watch “Grey’s Anatomy,” writing is right behind “make-up.” So “Six Feet Under” or “The Sopranos”? I just don’t feel like giving “Six Feet Under” any props today. It’s like supporting suicide. So “The Sopranos” it is.

Will win: “Grey’s Anatomy” will win and I’ll say something to The Girlfriend like, “This is fucking ridiculous. For writing! That show is popular for two things: tits and feelings.” And she’ll say something like, “Why do you care so much?” And I’ll say, “Because it gives tits and feelings a bad name.”

Outstanding Comedy Series

Arrested Development • FOX
Curb Your Enthusiasm • HBO
The Office • NBC
Scrubs • NBC
Two And A Half Men • CBS

My Pick: It’s a good category, with four genuinely enjoyable shows and one that is included because Charlie Sheen threatened to molest his co-star if it wasn’t on there. But again – I can’t say it enough – “Arrested Development” made me want to be a better person. I want to have kids someday just so I can watch “Arrested Development” with them. And I’m man enough to admit I’m not kidding when I say that.

Will win: Fuck it, I’m practically drunk with writing at this point. “Arrested Development” is my prediction. Because maybe there’s some decency left in the world. And maybe the academy believed my email and thinks I really do have a bomb hidden somewhere in Los Angeles.

Outstanding Drama Series

Grey’s Anatomy • ABC
House • FOX
The Sopranos • HBO
24 • FOX
The West Wing • NBC

My Pick: I think we’re using the term “drama” a little loosely with “Grey’s Anatomy” here. “Grey’s Anatomy” is about as dramatic as that time I was walking down the street and my helium filled balloon slipped from my grip. For my money, “The Sopranos” is the best drama on TV, hands down. And anyone who says it’s getting “boring” just because someone doesn’t get shot every week, you’re probably the one who makes the obnoxious noise when you sink someone’s battleship. So blow me.

Will win: “The Sopranos.” Because I ran out of commentary, so I asked my magic 8 Ball about this one and it said, “Cannot Predict Now,” and I got pissed and threw it away and guessed that “The Sopranos” would win.

(If you’re actually read this whole thing, thank you. Now please go get some exercise.)

44 Comments:

Who the fuck has the time to read a post this fucking long? Next time split them up. But good stuff anyway.

By Blogger "The D", at 12:09 AM  

Damn. It. I thought I'd be first and I haven't ever commented before and I read The. Whole. Damn. Post. (heh - Capitals and mis.placed. periods.) Wow. Dude. I'm dizzy.

By Blogger Gemini Prefect, at 12:27 AM  

I need to watch more TV.

By Blogger TCho, at 1:28 AM  

My Five Day Late Reaction to The Emmy Nominations

Five Day? And here I thought you were a grammar Nazi.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:43 AM  

I don't watch TV.

But while I was scrolling down, looking for something I could relate to, I could not help but notice that almost every outgoing link was involved with breasts.

Good show. That's probably why I don't bother watching TV. I already know what those look like.

By Blogger Janet, at 2:56 AM  

BI this post is far too long and complex for today's youth.

I can't believe you (a)thought about it this much and (b) wrote about it this much.

Love your OTHER posts tho...

By Anonymous Bird Girl, at 4:31 AM  

hey! I'm choosing to be mildly offended. I paint! But I also admit freely to watching tv whilst doing so. and, yeah... I read the whole thing... mostly because I had nothing better to do just yet. :)

By Blogger bella, at 6:29 AM  

I don't watch "Grey's Anatomy," so it is just nice to find out that cutie Kyle Chandler is still working.

By Blogger Dwight, at 8:17 AM  

Hey! I read instead of watching TV, and I think it would be cool to go to culinary school someday... but that's only cause Deadwood can't be on seven nights a week.

Don't feel bad about not watching Rescue Me. Denis Leary is so whiny and pathetic on there I've decided to hate all his other work on principle.

By Blogger Belligerent Sister, at 8:20 AM  

Um, yeah I just skimmed it, read what I thought might be interesting and clicked on the links. I've got better things to do—like read, paint and practice my mirepoix for culinary school.

By Blogger ❉ pixie ❉, at 8:59 AM  

THis show's the disparity between your work ethic and mine. I'm lazy and I would've broken something that long into at least 4 posts and taken 3 weeks to get it out there.

IN other news, I'm one of those people who lies about taking culinary classes. I took a cooking class with my ex once. It was a four night course. But now when I meet chicks and they ask about my hobbies, I tell them I take culinary classes. They seem impressed by that, so although that hobby has only taken up four nights of TV time during my entire life, I've gotten a lot of mileage out of it.

By Blogger HomeImprovementNinja, at 9:35 AM  

I loved it! Course, i live in the UK, and have hardly seen any of the shows you mentioned, nonetheless i agree with you on all points. It's just easier that way.

By Anonymous Jo, at 9:42 AM  

Wait... Did you watch "Sisters?"

By Blogger Cath, at 9:51 AM  

BI:
Your post was so long I had to go to bed and get up this morning to finish it.

(1) I, too, hate people who say they don't watch T.V. Worse? When they say they don't own a T.V. F***ers.
(2) Christina Ricci: Don't you think her head and shoulders are too big for the rest of her body? I'm always distracted by the fun house mirror-effect a whole body-shot has on me; (3) Grey's Anatomy -what IS it with this stupid show? It's like the producers said, "We can't emphasize enough how dramatic this scene is supposed to be for our stupid viewers so we'll have to create some over the top-music so they know for sure."

The only thing longer than your post is this coment.

By Blogger Leezer, at 9:52 AM  

First of all, "Five Day Late" is a compound adjective. Like if I said "I went on a three day long coke binge." I wouldn't say I went on a "three days long" coke binge.

Second - print it out, take it with you to Starbucks, treat yourself to a 5000 calorie frappuccino and read the post. It will be like reading a great magazine article, only you'll come away with no additional knowledge, perspective of general understanding of the topic.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 10:27 AM  

And yeah, I watched "Sisters." It was something my mom and I could share. Because she was never drinking when we watched "Sisters." (jk!)

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 10:32 AM  

I also hate when people claim they don't watch TV? I wouldn't mind it so much if they actually had something to show for not watching it like a scintillating Dorothy Parker-like wit, reading a ton of books, having a wildly active and hedonistic social life, having daily street brawls, ANYthing...but almost without fail they are the dullest people with absolutely nothing to say. It's like they think not watching TV is all they need to do to be interesting.

By Blogger T., at 10:38 AM  

Good post, and bully to the jerks who didn't read it all.

TV is the best thing that's ever happened to me. (Speaking of, you should really get into Project Runway. For my money, it's the best show on television.)

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:54 AM  

Actually, BI, if you're going to say five-day-late review, you should have put the hyphens in.

And does anyone else wonder if the people who do the lighting for the Emmies get jealous because they can't win an award for their lighting? Does anyone really care enough about these award shows to give them an award for their lighting? Now, if they could get the lights to start to fall on the people who talk too long, then they'd deserve an award.

By Blogger Rebecca, at 11:01 AM  

Ok I actually like Grey's Anatomy. My sister and I watch it relegiously. Or we did until it was rerun time. And I watched Sisters. I loved that show. And I read your whole damn post and almost fell asleep. I actually took a break for 10 minutes and came back to it.

By Blogger Softball Slut, at 11:15 AM  

Hey, everyone, did you notice how many words there were in this post?! Soooo many!

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 11:26 AM  

DRINKING!!!!!!

By Blogger belligerent mother, at 11:31 AM  

Ooh! I'm with Anonymous # 2 on this list! Project Runway rocks!!

And I read the whole thing. After watching season 1 of Arrested Development last week, and looking oh so forward to receiving season 2 via Netflix ASAP, I cannot agree more on your heartwrenching pain over seeing someone like Will Arnett being nominated, and worrying that someone like Jon Cryer might actually win instead. I can't believe people choose to watch things like "2 And A Half Men" and fucking "King of Queens" while shows like "Arrested Development" get cancelled. Total crap, IMO.

By Blogger Faith, at 11:33 AM  

I didn't read it but it looks good. Keep it up!

By Blogger Julie_Gong, at 11:35 AM  

Oh right. The only thing more annoying than people stating they "don't watch tv" are people who claim they didn't read this whole post because they were too busy... damn good writing BI. But I have to admit that I do yell, "KABOOM" and then follow that up with sailors crying out for help...

Fig

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:40 AM  

I'm with FIG. And I speak from experience, because I fall into the "I don't have a T.V. category" - which means I have a T.V. with absolutely zero stations/cable, so I netflix my t.v. It's not a part of my daily life, but I can get my healthy dose of Arrested Development, Sex and the City and Party of Five (can I get some love for that show by the way? They don't make them like they used to...)

So, I get to have my self-rightous 'i don't wach (much) t.v. cake and eat it too :)

By Blogger Mood Indigo, at 12:05 PM  

What a weird coincidence. I watched Sisters with my mom, too. But... I'm a girl. And there was no drinking.

You probably had more fun.

By Blogger Cath, at 12:34 PM  

I too hate people who claim not to watch TV. Lies, all lies. But there is a ridiculous amount of crappy TV out there. Thank God for DVR/TiVo. I actually feel sorry for people who never watched AD because they were either too stupid to get the awesome humor or too lazy to pay attention to some of the best writing in the past decade. Ron Howard should just mail it in for 4 movies just to get revenge on the masses who turned their backs on THE best show of the 21st Century.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:36 PM  

I watch TV, but only really trashy TV, like Cops and Judge Mathis.

There were a lot of boobies in your post today.

By Blogger babyoog, at 1:12 PM  

Howard Stern once said about Sid Caesar: "Everyone always says 'Sid Caesar is a genius' 'Sid Caesar is a genius' but no one actually said 'He's funny.' "

That's how I felt about Arrested Development. I watched it, and I thought "This might be genius, but it sure as hell ain't funny."

By Blogger T., at 1:15 PM  

First of all, "Five Day Late" is a compound adjective. Like if I said "I went on a three day long coke binge." I wouldn't say I went on a "three days long" coke binge.

Compound adjectives require hyphens. It's "Five-day trek," "seven-layer cake," -- that was the nitpicky point I was trying to make.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:19 PM  

The Big Book of English Grammar says that "If there is no risk of ambiguities, [a compound adjective] may be written without a hyphen."

It actually goes on to say that hyphens are ugly and people who hyphenate words often have less friends and die young.

By Blogger the belligerent intellectual, at 3:40 PM  

Yeah, whatever. Just because you're wrong, you have to get all defensive.

And I don't need friends! The hyphens are my friends!!! But not really, because I prefer the company of semi-colons. And your friends won't make you any less wrong. Whereas my real friends can gleefully support me, comforted by the knowledge that I am always right.

By Blogger Rebecca, at 5:06 PM  

Didn't Geena (yes, it's Geena, not Gena) Davis win the emmy last year? I can't see them giving it to her two years in a row, especially since that show blows and finally they realized it and took it off the air.

Since I'd actually consider going straight for Mariska Hargitay (or for that matter stay gay for Christopher Meloni), I hope SUV takes home everything they are nominated for. Hands down one of the best shows on TV.

I have a sneaky feeling Kyra will get it for the Closer, and that show sucks and you're dead on...she fug and so is her husband. They need to just go away.

I also love how the actress in comedy category has stars who star in shows either already canceled or will undoubtedly be soon. I say give it to Stockard cuz she's a drunk and who doesn't love a drunk?

By Blogger Carrie Broadshoulders, at 8:11 PM  

"Le Tooth" wrote this post didn't he? Those long winded Canadians just go on and on and on. I'm still pissed you stood Anne Marie up.

By Blogger Kevin, at 8:52 PM  

Once again, I'd like to say how much I love your mom.

By Blogger Libby Mae Brown, at 10:44 PM  

I'm going to go out on a limb and here and say that after reading the whole post (Yup - it's true) I actually learned something.

I'm glad I'm not the only person who watches too much tv.

I missed out on Arrested Development until I heard it was cancelled, and by then I didn't want to start watching, get involved and then have to move on to something else (like I did for "Coupling" - the UK version, not the awful US one.) Can't wait to catch the dvd's, though. I've heard so many good things.

By Blogger Mollypalooza, at 11:54 PM  

Everything you said about Arrested Development - I completely agree. I want to start my own show, just so I can re-hire all the writers, but since the general population of our country is a bunch of morons, I guess my show would fail in the ratings and then get nominated for Emmys after it was canceled too.

By Blogger Wide Lawns Subservient Worker, at 11:59 AM  

BI your mother must have one helluva sense of humour for you to have turned out the way you did and for her to have made the comments she has made over the course of your blog's life


and damn the hyphens. just say that key doesn't work.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:20 AM  

" Hey, everyone, did you notice how many words there were in this post?! Soooo many!"

3137 words because I don't want to work on my thesis so much that I copied and pasted the entire post into open office and did a word count.

By Blogger Cheeseburger, at 11:14 AM  

1. people who say they don't watch tv are the same people who, when asked about musical preferences, say they "like all kinds." which means they don't have enough of a personality form an opinion. alright, i guess it sounds like it has nothing to do with television, but trust me, it does.

2. Lost makes my world go round. So much so that I am personally offended by its lack of nominations. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON ON THAT ISLAND?

By Anonymous idratherbesailing, at 9:16 PM  

I loved "Arrested Development" and am still bitter it's no longer on TV. It makes me sad that we live in a society where smart TV like "Arrested Development" gets cancelled and "American Idol" just goes on, and on and on...

At least I have "The Office", so there's solace in that.

By Anonymous Kristi, at 9:56 PM  

PS- by the way, I love your blog. You make me giggle, and as we all know, laughter is inner jogging.

And I sure as hell need the exercise!

By Anonymous Kristi, at 10:00 PM  

I think I want you to be my new BFF. I too am pissed beyond belief that Jason Bateman was not nominated. Kevin James? Please! I hope one day to have Will Arnett's babies.

I think I am going to be one of your new blog readers, as you are quite the funny man. I especially enjoy your piece on the dry humping couple. When my friends and I see that at bars we cheer them on.

By Blogger Holland, at 11:02 AM  

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