I’ll admit, I’m not the type of person who seeks out the advice of others. Not because I don’t trust others or value their opinion, but mostly because I feel like asking for someone’s advice binds me to actually taking their advice. For example:
Purely Hypothetical Scenario
Me: “So I was driving home last night and it was really dark and I wasn’t going really, really fast or anything, but I guess I was going a little fast, and you know that road in town that’s really dark and curvy? Well I think I hit a homeless person or something. What should I do?”
Friend: “Whoa, dude. You HAVE to go to the police. I mean, if you did hit someone, maybe he’s still alive and he’s out there and he’s dying, you know? And they can still get to him.”
Me: “Yeah . . . you’re right. OK.”
Three days later.
Friend: “Hey, Dan, whatever happened with the police? Did they go out and look for the guy? Is everything alright?”
Me: “Oh, yeah. Well I never heard anything about it on the news, and I drove by there the other day and I didn’t see anything, and you know it’s only like a little dent on my car so I figured I would just kind of let it go. Want to catch a movie?”
Which is why Yahoo! answers is so cool. You can get advice on all your problems completely anonymously. Such as
(Which makes perfect sense, because really who’s she going to go to for advice? Her friends? Ohhhh wait, she has none.)
Then people anonymously answer your question, disguising themselves as hip cartoon characters, and you weigh your options. Such as
All great suggestions. Especially “never give people dirty looks” (going back to fundamentals) and the extremely helpful “u will find some…work on it” (because sometimes you just want somebody to listen and tell you it will be OK – and if you have no friends, that person is “snowy”).
Then finally, you decide which piece of advice is the most helpful and you deem it “Best Answer.”
Surprisingly, this is exactly the advice I would have given. STEAL OTHER PEOPLE’S FRIENDS! Buy them drinks all night long and when the time is right pull them aside and say, “Hey, so you know how I met you through Jill? And I work with her? Yeah well she does drugs. Like heroin. I heard her talking to her mom on the phone about it. Yeah, she steals money from your wallet when you’re not looking. It’s sad. Want to catch a movie this weekend?” And there you go, you’ve successfully stolen your co-worker’s friends. Nothing to it.
P.S. Dear angelsrobinson:
If nothing else works, you can always just make out with random guys at clubs. In my experience, that always leads to long and fulfilling friendships. You’re welcome!